Peak Experiences

 For most of us, life is fairly ordinary. And that is its own special miracle. To live our lives, day to day, to experience joy and sorrow, bliss and pain, company and solitude, and to be aware of the sacred nature of each experience, is to live well.

But sometimes, if we are very lucky, we will have a "once in a lifetime" experience, which lifts us out of of our ordinary lives. For the duration of whatever it is, our senses are heightened, and we appreciate everything vividly and with joy.

I have been so blessed to have this happen to me, in the first half of March. As many of my readers will know, I have spent the past two weeks on a Lord of the Rings tour in New Zealand. And it was completely amazing, a fabulous experience which I will look back on with fondness for the rest of my life. I am grateful for so many things:

• The dedication of the tour leaders (Julie on North Island, Josh on South Island) who consistently went the extra mile to make the experience as special and wonderful for us as they could.
• The unexpected fun of re-enacting scenes (complete with props) from the films in the locations they were shot.
• The unbelievably beautiful country that is New Zealand. And we were so very blessed with the weather. At the beginning of the tour, Julie warned us that we could experience "all four seasons in one day". But we had 15 straight days of blue skies and sunshine.
• The deep bonds formed with other members of the Fellowship. It was like Summer School - we came together as strangers, had rich and meaningful experiences together and, when we parted, it felt like a little death.
• The way we singletons (half a dozen out of 39) were folded into the community - everyone was included, no-one was left out.
• Making friendships which I believe will last long-term.
• The joy of "talking Tolkien" morning, noon, and night, with fellow Tolkien enthusiasts.
• Having the courage to do the bungee jump. Standing on the edge of the platform, 141 feet about the River Anduin, I felt a moment of intense fear, then I dove, and it was done, and it was amazing.
• The fun of the two on-coach quizzes - the range and depth of knowledge in the group was amazing.
• The WhatsApp group which one member set up on the first day, on which we all shared our photos.

I consider myself so fortunate to have been able to do this, and it certainly started my retirement with a bang! Whenever I feel down, I will be able to look back on this special time, and feel a warm glow of happiness.

15th March: Last day - Nomad 4WD tours

 My final full day in New Zealand began with Mother’s Day wishes from Becky and David, which touched my heart. 

We were collected from the hotel for the first tour at 8 am. We travelled to more LotR locations around Queenstown and Glenorchy, including Deer Park Heights, above Queenstown, where the Rohan refugees trek round the lake and the warg fight were filmed, and  the site of the Argonath, which were just round a bend in the river from the bungee jump bridge. And I learned something new: Peter Jackson asked Viggo Mortensen’s wife for photos of his father and grandfather, then gave them to the miniatures department to use for inspiration for Isildur and Anarion!

We also visited Paradise, where Beorn’s house was located in The Hobbit movies, and is also where the scene of Boromir with  the Ring, the bursting of the Isengard dam and the tail of the Southern Alps are.

We then returned to Queenstown for lunch before going on a second tour which I didn’t enjoy as much, as it included some very bumpy off road driving, a chance to pan for gold (tedious) near Arrowtown. We also visited Skipper’s Canyon ( part of the New Zealand gold rush in 1862) which had spectacular scenery. But Maz would have hated it - it was a single-track gravel road with a vertiginous drop off on one side.

Back to the hotel by 5:30. After I’ve had a farewell drink with Aarthi and Sarah at 7 (they are leaving at 5 am tomorrow) I’m going to spend the rest of my evening wrangling all my belongings into backpack and suitcase.

It has been a amazingly amazing holiday, which I will never forget, but I will be glad to get home and see you all xxxx

14th March: Fangorn and the Breaking of the Fellowship

Today was an out-and-back day from Queenstown, as we visited the Mavora Lakes area, to see (and in some cases, re-enact) the orc funeral pyre and the calling of Shadowfax at the edge of Fangorn Forest, the tree Frodo hid behind to escape the Uruk hai, and the Silverlode River - Nen Hithoel where Frodo and Sam paddle across the river at the breaking of the Fellowship.

This evening, we have our farewell dinner with Josh at the hotel restaurant. The last full day is tomorrow.

On the journey, the two teams (captained by me and Rebecca, who came second in the individual quiz earlier this week) faced off in a Tolkien trivia quiz, in which the 40 questions for each team had been set by members of the opposing team (2 each). There were some doozies, and I was very glad of the in-depth knowledge of my fellow nerds. Our team won by 5 points - 31 to 26.

All good fun!

13th March: Bungee Jump and Queenstown

 Today was bungee jumping day. As usual, the anticipation was far worse than the reality. Once I was up there and securely strapped into my harness and round my ankles, my fear vanished and I just did it. There was no time to balk - they shepherd you forwards to the edge of the platform and remind you to dive rather than jump, then there is a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown and a gentle push. Judging by the videos, my dive was reasonably graceful.

I wasn’t expecting so much bouncing and swinging around, but it was okay. When the swinging slows, you are told to grab onto the end of a pole being held up by people in a raft below, and they get you into the raft and help you take the harness off. Easy peasy!

The hardest bit was the long flight of steps back up to the viewing platform. I picked up my free tee-shirt and went out to a hero’s welcome. I have to say, it looks much worse than it feels. I’m so glad I’ve done it.

When all six of us had jumped, we drove on to Queenstwon, which will be our base until the end of the tour. Josh took those of us who had opted for it to pay for our 4WD LotR locations tour on Sunday, then we were free to wander and shop. Aarthi, Sarah and I stuck together and I lost my head to the extent of a gorgeous coffee table book full of photos and stories about LotR locations, and a Gandalf tee-shirt.

Enough.

12th March: Lake Pukaki and Pelennor Fields

 Another earlyish start. First stop, Lake Pukaki, to land and lakeshore owned by a total eccentric called Ian, who showed up in a black jacket and trousers with big white stars all over them, and cowboy boots. He proceeded to speak to us about his father’s experiences as a Spitfire pilot in WWII and (a very little) about the use of that part of the lakeside for the Laketown refugees sequence in the filming of The Battle of the Five Armies (3rd Hobbit film). Most peculiar chap.

Then we did some archery, which most of us (including me) were pretty hopeless at.

Then back on the coach to drive down to Twizel for the Pelennor Fields, which was great fun. It is an awesome setting, even if you have to imagine both Minas Tirith and the Mountains of Mordor. We did a re-enactment of the Ride of the Rohirrim, which was great fun. I sent you the video. And of Eowyn killing the Lord of the Nazgûl “I am no man !”

Then down through the Lindis Pass, which reminded me so much of the road that leads to Tal-y-Llyn. We reached Cromwell at around 5, and I’m planning a quiet evening in - the rest of the GF gang are going to a Mexican restaurant, which I don’t fancy.

Tomorrow is the bungee jump, then on to Queenstown, where we’ll be staying for the final three nights of the tour. I’ve discovered that Amarjeet fromout group will be on both the same long flights home. It will be nice to have someone to wait around with!

11th March: Edoras

 This was the one day I was really worried about, as it is very much “weather dependent”. But oh my! The weather was perfect (again) sunny and clear and the views were simply amazing.

And it was such fun! All the women got the chance to pose I. The one size fits (or doesn’t fit) all Eowyn dress, and all of us could stand on the high point with flag and sword. Awesome! And I hadn’t realised it, but they used different part of the same general location (admittedly vast) to film the background to Helm’s Deep.

Later on, we stopped for afternoon tea (yummy ice cream) and I found two cute cuddly kiwis for Alexander and Roman. We also stopped briefly at Lake Pukaki for a wonderful view of Mount Cook, before arriving at the hotel at 5:30. 

Buffet dinner included and as usual, I sat with the GF gang Sarah and her friend Aarthi, and Hannah and her husband Sean. All American and all delightful.

Laketown refugees and Pelennor Fields tomorrow.

10th March: from Nelson to Christchurch

 A long day on the coach today. Too much sitting still and I didn’t think to put compression socks on, which means I now have elephant ankles. Elevation this evening.

But the day was not without bright spots… we did the much-heralded Middle-Earth on-coach quiz, and to my complete astonishment, I won! (Low bar - I got 18 questions right out of a possible 46; they were hard!)

We stopped for lunch and two bathroom breaks along the way, and also to view a seal colony - more than a hundred at a guess - sunning themselves on the rocks.

Tonight we’re at the Suima Airport Hotel in Christchurch, and to my delight, my room has a sliding door to the outside, so no need to trek miles to vape.

Tomorrow: Edoras!!

9th March: Nelson - Helicopter Ride and The One Ring

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 There was a little bit of grumbling among those of us in the first helicopter ride group, at having to leave the hotel at 6:30 am. But not afterwards… we watched the sun come up on the way and it was awesome.

Mount Olympus - stunningly beautiful location, where they see the crebain from Dunland, and Gimli advises Gandalf to go through Moria, and Boromir is teaching Merry and Pippin to fight.

We returned to the hotel for a quick breakfast before visiting the workshop of Jens Hansen, the jeweller who crafted the One Ring. Lots of fabulous jewellery on sale including the ring I tried on (see photos) but way too expensive.

This afternoon I wandered back into the town centre with two of the group, then visited the Cathedral alone - it was strange to not have Maz with me. They had a Troyes labyrinth painted on the floor, so I walked it, which was lovely. Then I wandered back down the Main Street, where I stopped for a drink of juice with another two of the group, before picking up a delicious orange and almond slice from Dhara’s Caffe. I’m going to eat in the hotel, then have a relaxing evening in my room. Another early start tomorrow.

8th March: From North Island to South Island

 A long and gruelling day today. The ferry across the Cook Strait between North Island and South Island was running late, so that was one thing. However, it was nice to spend the crossing in Sarah and Aarthi’s good company. 

South Island has a very different feel to North Island - the part I’ve seen so far (from Picton to Nelson) is very like Austria. On the way to Nelson, where we’re staying for the next two nights, most of the group went kayaking on the Pelorus River, which just didn’t appeal to me. But more waiting around…

We finally reached the hotel in Nelson around 6 (having left the one in Wellington at 7 am). My room is nice, if quirky - it includes a large purple armchair, which is very comfortable, and both a desk and a bath, neither of which luxuries I had in Wellington. So I am content.

Early start tomorrow- I’ll be leaving the hotel at 6:30 am for a helicopter ride “south of Rivendell”.

7th March: Daniel Falconer and Zealandia

This morning, Daniel Falconer, one of Weta’s best concept artists on The Lord of the Rings, came to the hotel to talk to the group. He was just like he is in the DVDs, both informative and entertaining. Afterwards, there were art prints of his to buy, and he signed all of them (and also my map of Middle-Earth that I bought at Weta yesterday. And he doesn’t just sign things - he adds a little illustration - awesome!

After lunch, one of the group, a guy from Finland called Eero, and I went on a guided tour of Zealandia - a  fully fenced eco sanctuary dedicated to protecting rare New Zealand native species, particularly birds and reptiles. We saw many rare NZ birds, and also some tuatara - a rare lizard-like reptile.

Thee evening will be spent attempting to wrangle all my belongings into the suitcase and backpack… ahead of the ferry crossing to South Island tomorrow morning.

6th March: Wellington and Weta

 After breakfast we drove to Mount Victoria on the outskirts of Wellington to re-enact two moments from Fellowship of the Ring. Which was fun!

Then on to the Weta Cave - Weta Workshop’s retail outlet. Some people spent a small fortune and will need to buy extra suitcases to get it all back home, but I managed to keep to two items - the Elven brooch / pendant I had promised myself, and a lovely parchment map of Middle-Earth. 

Then we had lunch at the Roxy Theatre (owned and beautifully restored by Richard Taylor and Tania Rodger and Jamie Selkirk). Upstairs were Richard Taylor’s Oscar and some wonderful Thunderbirds models.

Our afternoon behind the scenes tour of Weta was fascinating and frustrating simultaneously. We were split into two groups, and my group did the tour first. The very informative guide showed us and let us handle all kinds of LotR artefacts, from weapons and armour to prosthetics. I saw Theoden’s and Aragorn’s armour, all the original hero swords, and Merry’s Rohirrim helmet. BUT we weren’t allowed to take any photos, because Weta don’t own the licences. I also saw a brilliant miniature of a city from Mortal Engines.

Then the two groups swapped and the tedium began. We were given the “marvellous opportunity” to paint some miniature figures (not LotR, just random figures like the ones David used to collect when he was little. Bor-ing. a) I am no good at it b) I’m simply not interested. Total Waste of an hour and a half. Am planning to deposit mine in the bin in the bedroom…

That’s ungracious! Most folk seemed to enjoy themselves. Just not me…

5th March Mount Doom, Mount Ruapehu and Gollum’s pool

 Another early start. We left Taupo at 8 and travelled up into the Tongariro National Park, where quite a bit of both LotR and Hobbit filming took place. We saw Mount Doom, Mount Ruapehu (slopes of Mordor and Emyn Muil and secret entrance to Erebor. Because the weather was so fine and clear (total rarity) we were able to see the Lonely Mountain in the distance - awesome!

Then we travelled on to the Mangawhero Falls, location of the sequence where Gollum goes fishing in a cold stream, and there was a chance for more cosplaying. I was one of the Sams.

After that, it was a long drive to the bottom of North Island. We arrived in Wellington around 6 pm, and will be staying here till Sunday morning. We visit the Weta Workshop tomorrow!!

4th March: Trollshaw Forest

 An early start - we left Rotorua at 8 am and travelled by coach for hours towards Piopio, the location of Trollshaw Forest (important location in the first The Hobbit movie. The tour was both informative and entertaining and the sun shone on us again - which I am  absolutely *not* taking for granted - the weather here is as unpredictable as Wales or Austria.

At the (inevitable) shop attached to the place, I spotted a rather beautiful letter opener in the form of Sting, so I treated myself.

Although the countryside of the North Island is very beautiful, it is very under-inhabited - isolated farms and widely-scattered little townships. I couldn’t help wondering how the farmers and their families access services like schools, doctors, hospitals, libraries… or even people like plumbers and electricians! I guess they have to be pretty self-reliant.

By the end of the day, having spent (far too) much of it on the coach [yeah, I know, what did I expect of a touring holiday] I am feeling a little like Sam Vimes in one of the Discworld books, complaining of MMBU (miles and miles of bloody Uberwald).

We eventually reached Taupo around 4:30, and I’m in another very posh room in the Taupo Lakeside Hilton. The bathroom has to be seen to be believed! It even has a balcony, so I can cape without having to go downstairs all the time. The lake is beautiful and is the largest inland lake in Australasia.

Emyn Muil and Mount Doom tomorrow.

3rd March Hobbiton in the Shire

 Today was beyond special (apart from the hours of coach travel, which were tedious). The countryside is beautiful  - reminded me a lot of our bit of Wales. We stopped off at a little place called Tinau for lunch, and Hannah’s gluten-free app found a lovely cafe called Enchanted Places, which seemed appropriate…

We dropped our cases at the very posh Novotel in Rotorua (my room is enormous and palatial) then backtracked to Matamata.

We arrived at Hobbiton mid-afternoon, and I burst into tears on the spot when Julie started playing the Fellowship theme in the coach. Oh my! Actually being in Hobbiton was beyond amazing - I was walking around with my hand on my heart and a huge grin on my face. It was a gorgeously sunny afternoon, as you’ve seen from the photos, which showed it at its best. Julie, the tour leader was wonderful at offering to record special moments on our phones - I have a video of running in Bilbo’s footsteps “I’m going on an adventure!”, picking up post from the Bag End mail box, and smoking Bilbo’s pipe (consciously channelling my father). Every hobbit hole was different and the level of detail was (as you might expect) superb.

One highlight for me was visiting on of two hobbit holes on Bagshot Row, which they’ve completely kitted out inside (which opened at the end of 2024). We were able to spend 15 minutes wandering from room to room, capturing all the wonderful details. Which is why there are so many photos. I’m so glad that Maz / Dad has offered to help me make a photo book when I get home, and that I’ll have these blogposts to remind me of the details. 

Then we had dinner in a pavilion behind The Green Dragon, followed by a lantern lit procession (shades of Hucklow, Becky and Arran) up to Bag End and the Party Field, before piling back into the coach and heading back to Rotorua, 

Honestly, it could not have been more wonderful!

2nd March: The Adventure Begins!

I slept really well (not surprisingly) after all the travelling. Then had a quiet and peaceful recovery day, reading The Two Towers and doing a bit of crochet. The buffet breakfast was delicious GF cereal and brownies, plus a selection of fresh fruit - I chose pear, apricot, pineapple, grapes, and (of course) kiwi fruit.

My ankles were still a bit swollen, so I decided to go for a walk. The hotel is in the middle of an industrial park which makes Brackmills look like a corner shop, but there were lots of trees to enjoy. And I felt Much Better afterwards.

We all (about 30 of us) had a welcome meal at 5:30 in a side room of the hotel. I bought some little bits & pieces, and collected my pre-ordered NZ greenstone heart, which is beautiful … and met some lovely people, including two American couples and a Sikh from Hounslow. Hannah and Sean (from Philadelphia) are good friends with a UU minister back home. And Hannah is also doing the bungee jump!

RCT  have given us each a full-colour brochure, which will be a nice souvenir. Off to Hobbiton tomorrow!

27th February - 1st March: I’m Going On An Adventure,

My adventure began after Maz very kindly dropped me off at Heathrow Airport on Friday evening. As usual, we had factored too much time in for delays, so I had a long wait. So I divided my time between reading The Fellowship of the Ring, and people-watching, which at Heathrow always reminds me of Love Actually.

Plane no.1, from London to Singapore, took off on time. I have never been on such an enormous plane - (an Airbus 380) ten seats wide with an upper deck too!

I was really lucky on this first leg - I was sharing a four-seat row with one other person, so there was room to spread out. Never having been on a long haul flight like this, I was fascinated to discover that a small pillow and a blanket are supplied for overnight flights - very civilised. Nor that at a certain point, the entire plane goes into sleep mode - as though the cabin crew were our parents, declaring “lights out”. I slept longer and better than I expected - and I now understand why David and Sarah and Becky and Arran use white noise to soothe the kids to sleep … the rumble of the plane’s engines did the same. And I was able to lie across two seats for part of the night.

After a 13 hour flight, which included two tasty and imaginative GF meals (!), I disembarked at Changi Airport. Which I was not impressed with - yes, it was clean and spacious and had a fabulous coffee shop which Maz would have loved, but I would have traded all that for significantly better signposting and even a shred of understanding of “gluten free” in the food outlets.

I found the Butterfly Garden, but assume they were all asleep. Here’s a Photo of some chrysalises for Sam.

Another long and tedious wait for flight no.2, from Changi to Auckland (10 hours this time, but it felt more like 20!) because a) the plane was full b) I was in the middle of a row of three, in spite of having asked for an aisle seat and c) we were seated below a loud and annoying air conditioner, so I got hardly any sleep.

The entrance to Auckland airport is very attractive (see photo below) but I was *not* impressed at having to queue for two hours (along with seemingly everyone else from several flights) in order to have my hiking boots inspected for cleanliness. Which is part of a new NZ government bio security drive, which I’m all in favour of, but it needs to be better organised and staffed.

The hotel room for tonight and tomorrow is huge and very nice. I had a soaky  bath as soon as I’d checked in, and feel a bit more human. The milk for the tea and coffee  ones in dinky little glass bottles….

It’s now 7:35 pm on Sunday 1st March. Not sure when you’ll get this, but I love you all heaps. The interesting blogposts will start tomorrow evening. Xxxx

Looking in the Mirror

The second of Frederick Buechner's Lenten questions is a bit of an odd one: "When you look at your face in the mirror, what do you see in it that you most like, and what do you see in it that you most deplore?"

I guess the answer to the first question is smiley eyes. The answer to the second is, I suppose, my somewhat irregular nose (the product of years of thumb-sucking as a child). But to be honest, I don't spend very much time either looking in the mirror or worrying about what other people think when they look at me. I am too old and (blessedly) at peace with myself to bother. Apart from a regular skin care regime, what you see is what you get.

If I had been answering this question twenty years ago, I would have been obsessing about minor imperfections. These days, not so much. I am well aware that I am a little overweight, and that I could do with getting more exercise (and eating less chocolate) but I cannot bring myself to care that much. So long as my body does what I ask of her, and is not in pain, all is well. I am so thankful that she is healthy.

I am me - a "unique, precious, child of God" to quote the Quakers, wife of 42+ years in a strong and happy marriage, mother of two wonderful grown-up children, and Nannie to three gorgeous boys. I am also a Unitarian minister and a published author, a crocheter and a stitcher. Yesterday was my 66th birthday. I retired from employment as District Minister of the Midland Unitarian Association, and the future stretches out in front of me.  In comparison to all that glory and good fortune, what do my looks matter?

Is there a God?

The subject for my online service on 15th February was Lent as A Spiritual Journey. One of the readings I chose was by the Christian theologian, Frederick Buechner. In it, he asked a series of  questions, which I'm going to reflect on as my Lenten practice for this year. They came from his book, Whistling in the Dark: A Doubter's Dictionary, which is rather wonderful. So I'm going to attempt to answer one each week (except for the first two weeks in March, when I'm in New Zealand  and will have no computer with me).

The first question is: "If you had to bet everything you have on whether there is a God or whether there isn't, which side would get your money and why?"

The short answer to this is yes, I do believe there is a God, because I have experienced His/Her presence. But my relationship with God has evolved over the years. As a child, the primary school I attended observed the cycle of the Christian year, and held an assembly every morning, so I learned all the lovely C of E hymns. I also owned a very nice Children's Bible, so I knew many of the stories from both the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament.

Did I have a relationship with God in those days? Well, I took His existence for granted, and accepted the stories I read fairly uncritically. It wasn't something I thought about much.

After running into issues with Christianity in my teens, and having discovered Unitarianism, the God I believe in was loving, and omnipotent, but strangely powerless (I know, that is a paradox). I believe with Mother Teresa that we are God's hands in the world, and that He/She can only work through us. I do trust that God exists, and believe with the Quakers that there is "that of God in everyone", and that each of us is "unique, precious, a child of God." And that therefore it is up to us to treat every human being with compassion and respect. Even those we dislike and distrust.

In 2012, my husband and I did a touring holiday in France, visiting several of the marvellous Gothic cathedrals. When we visited Chartres Cathedral, I had a close encounter with God, while walking its labyrinth. I had walked labyrinths before, mindfully, and had found it an uplifting experience. The experience I had at Chartres was of another quality altogether.

When I first entered the labyrinth, I realised that the people in front of me were moving really slowly, stopping every few paces to pray or meditate. My initial reaction was to overtake them and carry on, but my guardian angel nudged me at the right moment, and I decided to go with the flow and see what happened.

Gradually, as I walked, slowly, mindfully, my mindset changed, and I began to pray: firstly, the Metabhavna, the Buddhist prayer of loving kindness, but then, the Lord's Prayer, over and over again, in whole or in part. I offered my prayer up to the heavens, in the sure and certain knowledge that *Someone* was listening. It was the closest I had ever come to a direct experience of God, and I don't think I will ever forget it. It took me 90 minutes to reach the centre of the labyrinth and I simply wasn't conscious of the passage of time.

In the years since then, I have come to believe that God is Love, and that Love is at the centre of everything. And that God in the form of the Spirit is active and present in our lives, if we are only wide awake enough to sense it. I believe that we are all made in the divine image and that God has been waiting for the unique, divine incarnation that is each of us since the beginning of the universe, and that He/She sees each of us as perfect and whole and beautiful, exactly as we are. And that this perfect, whole, beautiful being lives inside each of us and is loved by God, and has been loved by God since we were born, and that there is nothing we can do (however good or bad) that will change that.

Today, I have an active awareness of God, the Sacred, in the natural world, in my everyday life. I have come to recognise that God is everywhere: in the world, and in me. And that is good.

People Are So Lovely

It's easy to look around the world and think that people (on the whole) aren't very nice. In some cases this may be an understatement (thinking of certain political leaders, warmongers, the super-rich who fleece the poor, and so on).

Yet, it has been my experience, throughout my life, and particularly in the last few weeks. that most people really are so lovely. Or perhaps I am just lucky in my friends and colleagues.... Perhaps I should explain: since 4th January, I have been visiting all the congregations of the Midland Unitarian Association, to say my farewells, as I am retiring from the posts of both District Secretary and District Minister at the end of February. And I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and good wishes and flowers I have received. None of which I was expecting.

Then, for the last couple of days, I have been on retreat with my ministerial covenant group, which I helped to found, back in 2013. We had our usual time of deep sharing and togetherness, and I am going to miss it heaps. But it is a group for working ministers, so it is time for me to step back and let them go. They, too, presented me with a beautiful rose and a lovely card - so very kind.

All the loveliness of the past few weeks has filled my heart with gratitude and also sadness, that I am no longer going to be in community with these people. Or at least, not for the next twelve months. And if I do begin to lead worship around the District again after that, it will not be the same. I will be an ordinary visiting preacher, not District Minister. And part of me will miss it - will always miss it, I think.

Yet I know this is the right time for me to retire - my 66th birthday is at the end of February, and I have so much else I want to do in my life - more time with my husband, children and grandchildren; more time to write and stitch and crochet. And I will not be disengaging from Unitarianism altogether - I will still be involved with our local Ministers' Meeting, with the Peace Fellowship, with Northampton Unitarians and as a tutor of the Worship Studies Course and a regular columnist for The Inquirer. 

But there will be fewer deadlines, fewer Zoom meetings, more time to do what I love, with the people I love. And that is good.

What makes you come alive?

The Unitarians are currently running sessions for people curious about Unitarianism. The next course begins tomorrow (7th February) and the link is on The Unitarians page on Facebook. It reads, 

"Tired of feeling alone in a world that doesn't make sense? Looking for people who believe there's a better way? You're not the only one. So many of us are searching for something real; for meaning, for connection, for a way of living that doesn't feel incomplete. For people who see what you see and refuse to accept that consumerism and individualism are enough. NUBI sessions are for anyone curious about the Unitarian movement. We gather monthly with people asking the same questions you're asking. People looking to come alive again, together."

And they used this image, words by Howard Thurman, to catch the eye:

"Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

The answer will be different for each of us, because we are all unique human beings, who are the sum of our genes, our upbringing and our life experiences. If we take the time to really think about the answers to the question, "what makes you come alive?", it is quite possible that we may be disheartened by the (relatively) small amount of time we spend doing these things, rather than passing the time doing things which don't fulfil us. Often, of course, these activities still have to be done - to earn a living, to keep our home clean and tidy, for example. But sometimes, we choose (or rather, absently opt) to waste our precious "free" time with activities which deaden us, rather than making us come alive. Such as scrolling through our Facebook or Instagram or X feeds, disappearing down other people's rabbit holes.

These are the activities which make me, Sue Woolley, come alive. When I am engaged in them, I call it sacred living. Living with intention and awareness.

• spending time with the people I love.
• walking in the natural world, surrounded by the beauties of creation.
• writing - fiction, poetry, blogposts, addresses.
• reading - both fiction and non-fiction.
• crafting - crochet and cross-stitch.

What are yours?

An Interval of Peace

I am feeling very blessed. I have just spent a few days at my best friend's cottage in Cumbria, and we had a gorgeous time. Didn't go anywhere, nor do anything exciting. Just a quiet chummery of good conversation, knitting (her) / stitching (me) and some seriously competitive games of canasta.

This was the sun setting in Arnside on Wednesday evening, the day I arrived. So beautiful, so peaceful. These few days have enabled me to re-centre myself, in preparation for my final three weeks at work, which are going to be hectic in the extreme. As well as my normal tasks, I have a lot of things to tick off, so that I am able to do a decent handover to my successors (I'm retiring on 26th February). 

I guess the point of this post is that sometimes, we need to step back, out of our busy lives, and admire a sunset, relax with a friend, concentrate on Being rather than Doing. The timing of this lesson of me has been perfect, and I feel much more able to get what needs to be done, done, because I have enjoyed these few peaceful days away.

I recognise that not everyone is lucky enough to have such a bolthole to retreat to, and know how very fortunate I am. But simply setting down your pen, walking away from your desk, shrugging on a coat and walking outside for a few minutes can help. Or doing something you really enjoy, simply because you enjoy it. We all need a break from work, sometimes.

Selfish Living

This week's quote, by the inimitable Oscar Wilde, reads, "Selfish does not consist of living as one wishes to live; it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

You can guess whom I'm thinking of when I share the image above - the Orange Peril. It is terrifying me, how close his policies and acts are bringing our world to outright war and ruin. But it is not just him - it is the people behind him, who egg him on, support him in his ego-driven insanities, because there is money and power in it for them. He is simply the face of it all.

I grieve for all the people in the US (and there are very many of them) who do not support the current President. My Facebook feed is filled with anguished posts from those who are doing what they can, where they are, to stand against him. I was particularly chilled by one post from a friend who gave advice on what to do if ICE knocks on your door. It seems that America is no longer "the land of the free". 

But there is always the other side. The Canadian Prime Minister, Mark Carney, made an inspirational speech at the World Economic Forum in Davos, and Europe is mobilising to protect the rights of the people of Greenland. I believe (I hope) that Trump and the people behind him can be stopped. That this time, unlike in Europe in the 1930s, people everywhere will stand up and fight for freedom. And not let it pass, like in Margaret Attwood's prophetic words in The Handmaid's Tale, "That was when they suspended the Constitution. They said it would be temporary. There wasn't even any rioting in the streets. People stayed home at night, watching television, looking for some direction. There wasn't even an enemy you could put your finger on."

Today, now, there is an enemy. Truly selfish living will be if we do not fight with everything we have to stop this insanity, so that others can live as they wish to live.

Speaking and Listening

Henry David Thoreau, the 19th century American author and Transcendentalist, once wrote, "It takes two to speak the truth; one to speak and one to listen."

(image: Free SVG vector files)

Hmm, I'm not so sure about that. If one person is doing all the speaking and the other is doing all the listening, to me, it implies an inequality in the exchange. The one doing the listening must be free to question what the speaker is saying, to ask questions of their own, to tease the deeper meaning out of what the speaker is sharing. Or at the very least - for example if the recipient is listening to a public speaker (or a worship leader!) - the listener should be free to talk with others and / or with the speaker, afterwards, about what the speaker has said, if they have questions.

We are thinking beings. I believe we should rarely accept what another says as 'the truth' uncritically, without questioning it. We have been given brains to analyse received information and should use them. For me, this is most of the problem with social media today. The "listener" is the person who browses Facebook or X or whatever, and reads whatever is framed as 'the truth', by the "speaker", the person who doing the posting. Engaging with the post is not the same as true conversation. Complicated algorithms control which posts we see, which tend to confirm the views we hold already. It takes a positive effort to move past this (to me, quite sinister) control and work out the truth for ourselves. 

In Thoreau's day, conversation was face-to-face, or by letter, between people who knew each other (or at least, knew the reputation of the speaker if, for example, the listener was attending a lecture or a worship service). Today, we are offered a wide variety of "truths" from many sources, most of whom we do not know personally. 

Our saving grace is that we are still inclined to speak with other people, face-to-face, about what we have learned. And so move towards a more nuanced understanding of 'the truth'. 

Happiness as a Way of Life

This week's quote reads, "Happiness is not a destination, it is a way of life."

Without being too Pollyanna-ish about it, I have to say I agree. I think this is where the authors of the American Declaration of Independence got it wrong, with their insistence on the rights to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" (italics mine). 

As a result, most of us think of happiness as a far-off goal, which we must pursue by any means available to us. But here's the thing: it cannot be bought; it can only be appreciated, right here, right now. If we see it as a far-off goal, we will miss all the micro-moments of happiness happening to us today.

Of course, there will be times in all our lives when we are distinctly unhappy, for a variety of good reasons. But most of the time, we have a base level of happiness, to which we return naturally, no matter what life throws at us. I came across a fascinating blogpost on the Scott Free Clinic website, which explains it like this: "Psychologists gave this pattern a memorable name - the hedonic treadmill - after noticing how quickly people get used to both windfalls and setbacks. In the early 1970s Philip Brickman and Donald Campbell argued that people adapt to good and bad changes and then return toward a typical level of happiness. ... That typical level is often called a happiness set point - not a single emotion frozen in stone, but a familiar baseline your mood tends to orbit. Inherited biological factors largely determine the happiness set point, with temperament traits - a key expression of these genetic influences - shaping how emotions respond to life events. The brain's habit of adaptation then nudges feelings back toward this familiar baseline after spikes of delight or dips of discouragement."

Which is, I guess, why some people (like me) tend to be happier (most of the time) than others. Which I know can be very irritating for the others! Yet I do believe that the potential for happiness is all around us, if we are only aware enough to notice the tiny good things which happen to us every day.  I have a daily gratitude practice, which consists of recording in my journal three things which I am grateful for each day, last thing at night. They may be tiny, unimportant things, but they are there. Last night, I was grateful for an idea for a new scene for my work in progress; for good progress on my current cross-stitch project, and for participating in a lively and fascinating discussion about the favourite books we had read in 2025, at my local Writers' Group. Nothing very life-changing, or earth-shaking, but they made me happy.

What has made you happy over the last few days?

With Heart and Mind

 "Follow your heart, but take your mind with you." Such a lovely quotation to begin a new year.

Because both are necessary, if we are to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Mind without heart is efficient, effective, productive, but can also be sterile, unhappy, uncaring. Heart without mind is intuitive, emotional, spiritual, loving, but can also be biased, impulsive, unwise.

In 1959, the Lindsey Press published a slim volume entitled Essays in Unitarian Theology: A Symposium. Edited by Rev. Kenneth Twinn, who was at that time minister of Chowbent Unitarian Chapel in Atherton, Lancashire, it has eight different contributions by eminent Unitarian theologians. All make fascinating readings, but the one which really spoke to me was the first contribution, by Twinn himself. It was called A Personal Affirmation and I would like to share the first few sentences, as for me, they sum up what Unitarian theology should be about - living with heart and mind together.

"What I look for in religion is a system of thought that will give meaning to life - not necessarily that will answer all the questions I might raise, but that will give coherence to my experience of the totality; and a meaning which will at the same time suggest a way of life, involve a commitment or categorical imperative (to us whatever may be the jargon of the age), of the whole. The conclusions I have reached, the system I have evolved... is far from complete... It is not original, but influenced by what I have been taught, by patterns of thinking in which I have been brought up. I confess that I can never be ultimately satisfied with it, and that I ought to keep on examining it and modifying it, but it is something I can live by now. I recognise that it should not conflict with any facts that have been scientifically demonstrated, but equally it must respond to and correspond with all sides of my nature, spiritual and emotional as well as purely rational: my insight as well as my five senses. Therefore it has a poetical as well as logical expression."

So perhaps it is up to each of us to formulate our own theology; our own system of thought and belief that will satisfy not only our minds but also our hearts. And, crucially, it must be a system of thought and belief which can be lived by, not just pretty words and ideas talked about on a Sunday. A combination of heart and mind together, which will enable us to live wise and happy lives.