People Are So Lovely

It's easy to look around the world and think that people (on the whole) aren't very nice. In some cases this may be an understatement (thinking of certain political leaders, warmongers, the super-rich who fleece the poor, and so on).

Yet, it has been my experience, throughout my life, and particularly in the last few weeks. that most people really are so lovely. Or perhaps I am just lucky in my friends and colleagues.... Perhaps I should explain: since 4th January, I have been visiting all the congregations of the Midland Unitarian Association, to say my farewells, as I am retiring from the posts of both District Secretary and District Minister at the end of February. And I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and good wishes and flowers I have received. None of which I was expecting.

Then, for the last couple of days, I have been on retreat with my ministerial covenant group, which I helped to found, back in 2013. We had our usual time of deep sharing and togetherness, and I am going to miss it heaps. But it is a group for working ministers, so it is time for me to step back and let them go. They, too, presented me with a beautiful rose and a lovely card - so very kind.

All the loveliness of the past few weeks has filled my heart with gratitude and also sadness, that I am no longer going to be in community with these people. Or at least, not for the next twelve months. And if I do begin to lead worship around the District again after that, it will not be the same. I will be an ordinary visiting preacher, not District Minister. And part of me will miss it - will always miss it, I think.

Yet I know this is the right time for me to retire - my 66th birthday is at the end of February, and I have so much else I want to do in my life - more time with my husband, children and grandchildren; more time to write and stitch and crochet. And I will not be disengaging from Unitarianism altogether - I will still be involved with our local Ministers' Meeting, with the Peace Fellowship, with Northampton Unitarians and as a tutor of the Worship Studies Course and a regular columnist for The Inquirer. 

But there will be fewer deadlines, fewer Zoom meetings, more time to do what I love, with the people I love. And that is good.

The Path to Contentment

This week's quote, by Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius, really speaks to my condition, as the Quakers say. It reads, "Think of what you have, rather than of what you lack! Of the things you have, select the best, and then reflect how eagerly you would have sought them if you did not have them."

The basic idea is about appreciating what we have, rather than continually chasing after what we don't. To appreciate what we have, we need to be awake and aware of the multiplicity of good things all around us. For example, I just (a couple of minutes ago) took the above photo of this week's postcard using my iPhone and sent it to myself via e-mail. A few seconds later, it was in my inbox and I was able to download it to my laptop, then select it and put it into this blogpost.

Which today, it is tempting to take completely for granted. But honestly - wow! At times like this, I am stunned by the miracle of modern computer technology. That I am able to take a photo of a physical object using my phone, and can then edit said photo, before sending it instantly to my inbox, download it, and use it. I am old enough to appreciate what a miracle this is. To realise how completely impossible it would have been in the days before the IT revolution. 

And that is one small and fairly frivolous example. I could offer a multitude of others - the instant connectivity that mobile phones bring us; the blue sky, white clouds and large and magnificent tree outside my window; the fact that I will be going to visit my two beautiful grandsons later this morning; that my husband has made a wonderful recovery from major surgery. There is so very much to appreciate. So very much to be grateful for. I realise how very blessed, how very privileged I am, to be me.

A wise Unitarian, John Naish, once wrote, "Enoughness is the path to contentment." And I think that is the nub of Marcus Aurelius's message. At times like this, I remember a prayer quoted by Rachel Naomi Remen in her book, My Grandfather's Blessings, which I have shared on here before:

Days pass and the years vanish

and we walk sightless among miracles.

Lord, fill our eyes with seeing 

and our minds with knowing.

Let there be moments when your Presence,

like lightning, illuminates

the darkness in which we walk. 

Help us to see, wherever we gaze,

that the bush burns, unconsumed.

And we, clay touched by God,

will reach out for holiness and

exclaim in wonder,

"How filled with awe is this place

and we did not know it."

May we all have the sight to perceive and appreciate the everyday miracles in our lives. Amen

How We Experience Life

Anton Wilhelm Amo was a Nzema philosopher who lived in the first half of the 18th century. He was brought to Germany from Axim (Dutch Gold Coast, now Ghana) at the age of four and, according to Wikipedia, "presented as a gift to Dukes Augustus Wilhelm and Ludwig Rudolf of Brunswick-Wolfenbüttel, being treated as a member of the family by their father, Anthony Ulrich."

He became a doctor of philosopy at Wittenberg University in 1734 and his thesis, On the Absence of Sensation in the Human Mind and its Presence in our Organic and Living Body, from which I suspect this week's quotation came, "argued in favour of a broadly dualist approach of the person. Specifically, he argues that it is correct to talk of a mind and a body, but that it is the body rather than the mind that perceives and feels."

The specific quote reads, "The person does not sense material things from his soul, but from his living, organic body." 

Yes, I agree, up to a point. It is through our five senses, sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste, that we access the material world. As I have written before, "I am so grateful for eyes to see, ears to hear, a nose to smell, a mouth to taste, skin to touch." Yet I also believe that our heart and soul are necessary to fully interpret what our senses bring to our attention. It is our senses which bring the glory of Creation into our experience, and our hearts and souls which enable us to be ready to receive and appreciate it.

If I stand outside in front of a tree, for example, I can see the beauty of its trunk and branches and leaves; I can hear the sound of the wind blowing through and around it, of birds singing in its branches; I can smell (almost) the greenness of its leaves, the sap flowing through its heart; and I can touch the smoothness of the leaves, the velvety furriness of new rhus branches, or the roughness of an oak's bark. All these are accessible to my "living organic body", as Amo says. 

Yet it is my heart and soul that glory in their beauty, that rise in appreciation of their wonder. My senses enable, my heart and soul interpret. That's as close as I can get to the duality which Amo speaks of, and which I think is not quite what he meant by it...

Dreams and Reality

This week's quotation comes from the author of The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Eupery. "My dreams are more real than the moon, than the dunes, than everything around me."

It may be tempting, at the moment, to retreat to the world of dreams. Because in our dreams, the world is a happier place, with everyone living together in peace and amity. There is no illness, no poverty, no disease, no injustice. Which is why the lyric's of John Lennon's wonderful song, Imagine, still have so much power, all these years later.

Imagine...

But I believe that although it important to have dreams, to work towards such a world, it is more important to live in this one, and to accept the realities that we have been given.

A few months ago, a friend asked me this question: "What makes you come alive?" and I have been thinking about the answers ever since. For many of us, interaction with the natural world - walking by the sea, making a garden, walking a regular route and notice the day-to-day changes in the nature around us, being awed by natural beauty - play an important part in re-connecting us with the spiritual; with making us come alive. And so it is with me. To which I would also add, interacting with family, friends and fellow Unitarians - even if we can only do this virtually at present.

I am blessed that I live in a village surrounded by open countryside. When I go for a walk, it is wonderful to be out in the changing seasons - to see and savour and appreciate the blossom in spring (which is coming out all over at the moment), the mass of wildflowers in the summer, the first conkers in autumn and the elegant spareness of the trees in winter. This connectedness of the natural world is something that very often gets lost in Western society. We are so busy doing the job in hand, rushing to the next appointment, that we don't take enough time out to appreciate the world around us.

Maybe this time of enforced staying at home could be doing us a favour - forcing us to slow down, open our eyes, and appreciate the beautiful reality with which we are surrounded. Even if we live in a city, there is still the sky above us, and trees along our streets.

So yes, dreams are important, but give me reality any day!

Small Pleasures

This week's quotation is by Johannes Kepler, a 17th century German astronomer and mathematician, whose books on planetary motion and other astronomical matters I catalogued when I was on my placement year at the Royal Greenwich Observatory, then at Herstmonceux Castle in East Sussex. He had an influence on many of his peers and successors, including Isaac Newton.

(portrait Wikimedia commons.org)

He wrote, "Hundert kleine Freuden sind tausendmal mehr wert als eine Grosse." Which being translated, means, "A hundred little joys are worth a thousand times more than one big one."

And I believe he's right. If we are awake and aware enough to notice the small pleasures of every day, our underlying happiness will surely be greater than if we are only lifted out of our doldrums by one big happy event.

There used to be a blog called 'Three Beautiful Things', now sadly defunct, in which the author posted daily about three things which had attracted her attention as 'beautiful'. I used to read it daily, and gained an appreciation of the practice of searching for small, everyday pleasures which would lift my spirits.

Today, for example, I have asked a friend a favour, and she has responded positively and enthusiastically. And I'm going to get round to clearing the desk in my study, which has been cluttered and distracting for too long. This afternoon, I intend to spend crocheting a baby blanket, which is turning out really well so far.

Three small pleasures, all in one day. Why not give it a try? If it worked for Kepler, and it works for me, maybe it will work for you...

Feeling Blessed

We are just home from a week's holiday in mid-Wales. The weather started off grey and overcast, but finished up with blue skies and sunshine. Here is my favourite beach in the late afternoon...

Benar Beach

We got up late, had leisurely breakfasts, then headed out to explore this beautiful part of Wales. Dolgoch Falls, Portmeirion, Harlech Castle (and the wonderful ice cream shop just below it), the Panorama Walk above Barmouth, and Bodnant Gardens. We ate some fabulous meals, and relaxed each evening, either playing some hilarious games of pool or watching DVDs together.

Dolgoch Falls

Each day was different, each day was wonderful. Full of wonder. Two things made this holiday special: the people I was with (husband, daughter and daughter's fiancé) and the fact that I let go of "ought to" and "need to" and simply went with the flow. Whatever we did, wherever we went, I tried to be present and full of wonder and joy and gratitude.

I think that this week has been a lesson for me in the gentle art of being present. Of having no particular goal in mind. Of simply being.

Consequently, I feel blessed.

Your Last Shirt

My other half and I are currently on a tour of the south-west portion of Turkey. Our tour guide, Ahmed, is a delight. He not only informs us, he also admonishes and instructs us. Today our timetable included a boat trip on the Dalyan river delta to the famous Iztuzu Beach, where, in the Summer months, loggerhead turtles come in their thousands to lay their eggs.

On the way, we went past some spectacular rock tombs, which had been carved into the rock face by the ancients, to act as mausoleums. They varied in size and elaborateness, from simple holes to miniature temples. Ahmed was explaining that the size of the tomb varied according to the occupant's status in this life, and then exclaimed: "You know, it really doesn't matter. We have a saying in Turkey: 'Your last shirt has no pockets.' In other words, you cannot take anything with you."

I had been feeling a little sorry for myself, as, unlike the previous day, the weather was grey and overcast, and my back was aching from all the sitting. "Your last shirt has no pockets" reminded me to appreciate the moment, and enjoy what was happening as it happens.

Appreciating What We Have

I like Facebook. I know it can be a terrible time-waster, but I log on every day to keep up with all my Unitarian friends round the country, and with my children-no-longer-children, now both away at University. And I 'like', to use the Facebook jargon, a lot of pages, which include many pithy quotes which make me reflect on how I am spending my time and living my life. They can often provide me with a starting point for a blogpost, like this one.

One of my favourite pages on Facebook is called 'becoming minimalist' and the page owner, Joshua Becker, posts a lot of inspirational tips on how to simplify your life, and on how to appreciate what you have, rather than forever going after the next thing. One post last week read: "Treasure your relationships, not your possessions." Which reminded me again of the importance of appreciating what you have, and of living in the present.

Simplicity is also one of the five Quaker testimonies. In their Advices and Queries, they say: "Try to live simply. A simple lifestyle, freely chosen, is a source of strength. Do not be persuaded into buying what you do not need or cannot afford. Do you keep yourself informed about the effects your style of living is having on the global economy and environment?"

And I am finding that these beliefs, these ideas, matter increasingly to me. I know that my lifestyle is currently very far from simple, and that the way I live has more of an impact on the environment than it should. But I am working on it. For example, in the last twelve months, I have given up cigarettes and alcohol, and am trying to eat more healthily too. I am still very bad at buying new books whenever I see them, but try to really consider whether I need other consumer items, such as clothes or jewellery, or gadgets. Because I do believe that "a simple lifestyle, freely chosen, is a source of strength."

It is also about being aware of the sacred in the world. Sacred living is about weaving moments of attention into our everyday lives, and recognising the sacred there. It is about living with a new level of awareness. It is about going through our day paying attention to what is happening in each passing moment. It is about noticing the presence of the divine, the numinous, everywhere, in the natural world, in other people, in ourselves, and in things that happen to us. Sacred living is about rediscovering our sense of wonder, and living our lives in response to that. Sacred living is about truly appreciating what we have.

And giving thanks.