Season of Rest

I will be leading worship this coming Sunday, on the Winter Solstice. I like the modern Pagan interpretation of Winter as a time of stillness, darkness, dormancy, rest. So this week's quotation, by Karl Tucholsky, struck a chord with me: "There are many different noises. There is only one silence."

In the lead up to the Christmas season (and, by the way, how did two. or even twelve, days turn into a "season"?) many of us will be feeling not quiet and peaceful, but frazzled and exhausted. Human beings are not supposed to operate at peak capacity 365 days a year. It isn't natural, and it sure is wearing. We all need some "down time" to rest, nourish ourselves and prepare for the year ahead.

One of the readings in my service, by Stephanie Noble, reminds us "Dark is the rich, fertile earth that cradles the seed, nourishing growth. Dark is the soft night that cradles us to rest.... Dark is the gestation of our deep and knowing self. Dark is the cave where we rest and renew the soul."

Yet how many of us, in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, have time to rest, and nourish ourselves? Only too often, I am afraid, we end up feeling shattered, rather than rested, as we try to meet all the demands of this season of conspicuous consumption. How often do we give ourselves the chance to stop, to rest, to replenish our souls?

It is only too easy to rush from task to task, ticking off items on the to-do list, and then straight on to the next one. Yet there are times when being busy, busy, busy just gets too much. The thought crosses our minds: "Stop the world! I want to get off!" But it won't stop, so we have to consciously make the effort to schedule some time to step off that treadmill.

So if we can, perhaps we might all consider committing to spending the next few days in Sabbath rest, the deep breath before the plunge into Christmas proper. And perhaps even resolving to carve out a regular rest day each week in 2020.

What you choose to do with your time of rest and silence will be up to you. Each person has different ways of relaxing. I love reading, and stitching, but the ideal for me is to follow the Quaker advice, and "find a way into the silence which allows us to deepen our awareness of the divine and to find the inward source of our strength."

May your Christmas be peaceful and restful, and blessed with light and friendship.

Slowing down

Henriette Wilhelmine Hanke wrote "Die Langsamkeit bietet die Chance, das, was wir tun, auch zu erleben." 

Which means: "Slowness offers the opportunity to experience what we do."

A reminder which most people in our frantic society could do with, myself not least.

Time for reflection and rest is so important. It is only too easy to rush from task to task, ticking off items on the to-do list, and then straight on to the next thing. Yet there are times when being busy, busy, busy, just gets too much The thought crosses our minds: "Stop the world! I want to get off!" But it won't stop, so we have to consciously make the effort to schedule some time to step off that treadmill. It may take a little creative selfishness to realise that you are quite entitled to do this, and quite a bit of planning to reschedule your activities, and find a free time-slot, but it can be done. The most important thing is that we commit to it, on a regular basis, and do it consistently.

Because we're not supposed to live like this. Every person needs to have some time to centre down, to be at peace, to recharge their emotional and spiritual batteries. I believe that one of the most important of God's creations is the Sabbath - a time to rest, to re-group, and come back to our everyday lives refreshed. One reason why my faith is so important to me is that it has taught me that there is another way of living, even if I don't always follow it.

The idea of resting every seventh day goes back to Biblical times. Right at the beginning of the Bible, we are told that God created the world in six days, and then rested on the seventh day. This concept was taken up by ancient Israel, and was one of the ten commandments laid down by Moses in the Book of Exodus: "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labour, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." For Jews, the Sabbath starts at sundown on Friday evening with the lighting of a candle, and a shared meal, and continues until sundown on Saturday.

When Christianity started two thousand years ago, they took on this principle (broadly speaking) and met firstly on Saturdays, but then on Sundays, to participate in the Lord's Supper, or Eucharist. Later on this got hedged round with a lot of do's and don'ts, but today an increasing number of Christians try to observe a Sabbath day once a week, in which they "rest in Christ". An article by Lauren Winner on the Christianity Today website explains: 

"But Jesus never said to forget the Sabbath completely. Keeping the Sabbath is one of the Ten Commandments, after all! And through the ages Christians have seen the wisdom of devoting one full day to rest and praise. There's an old Puritan saying, 'Good Sabbaths make good Christians.'

Still, honouring the Sabbath was easier in Puritan New England, where almost everyone took the Sabbath seriously. Shops weren't open on Sundays, businesses closed their doors, and everyone headed to church. Sabbaths are much more difficult in contemporary America. In fact, in a society that values busyness and productivity, observing the Sabbath is downright countercultural.

That's not to say contemporary society doesn't encourage us to relax. To the contrary, most secular women's magazines and television talk shows ... instruct us to indulge ourselves. While there's nothing wrong with the occasional bubble bath, [this isn't] quite the same thing as Sabbath. The key to the Sabbath isn't merely rest. Rather, it's that in our rest we turn our attention to God, whose rest our Sabbath mirrors."

So let us slow down, simply be, and be present to the world and the divine around us.

Jello Neclu

I am wondering when I should get measured up for the zimmer frame. I was out with my daughter today, and somebody texted me. I answered in my customary one-fingered, slow, fashion, and she had hysterics. She pointed out that it would be so much easier if I used both thumbs, and suggested that I tried to send her a text using that method.

So I tried to input "Hello Becky". Except that it came out "Jello Neclu". Oh. 

Also, she is 20 years old this month, which means I am no longer the mother of any teenagers, but the mother of two young people in their twenties. And my knees hurt, and I stiffen up if I sit in one place too long, and I don't have as much stamina as I used to have. Oh dear.

I honestly feel that Jello Neclu really sums up the difference between our generations. Any mobile phone skills that I possess have been acquired over time, and with some difficulty. Whereas my daughter and son seem to be attached to theirs by an invisible umbilical cord, and use them for everything, all the time. And to acquire instant proficiency with each new one they get. 

And I keep mine on all the time, solely so that if either of them wants to get in touch, they can. 

They keep theirs on all the time because they are their lifeline to the wider world.

I do believe that mobile phones are a blessing for keeping in touch with a few special people when you're out and about. But that's it, really. And I cannot help thinking that the time they spend glued to their mobiles might be better spent looking at and interacting with the world around them. I guess I'm just old and out of touch.

But I do love my Sabbath mornings, when I don't turn on the computer, put my mobile on silent, don't have the radio or TV on, and spend the time reading, journalling, stitching, walking in nature. Just being. Not in reaction to anyone else, just being me. 

It is precious time, time, to be mindful, time that I couldn't get if I was stopping every few minutes to answer a text or an e-mail or respond to a Facebook update. I love doing these things, but I also love my time alone, just being. 

Just. Being.

An Interval of Peace

Today has been my day of rest. Not my day "off", in which I struggle to catch up with domestic tasks, but a true day of rest. I have taken a deep breath, and once more stepped outside my own life to let my soul catch up.

And it has been so peaceful. It was a lovely morning, so I went for a slow, untimed run round the block, breathing in the green of springtime and marvelling at the efficiency of my legs and heart and lungs. Then I had a shower and breakfast, giving thanks for unlimited hot water, and good food.

Most of the morning was spent reading Wayne Muller's wonderful book Sabbath: Finding rest, renewal and delight in our busy lives, which I have blogged about before; writing a letter by hand; and helping my daughter to revise for her A2 History exam on Monday.

I have recently treated myself to a new cross-stitch kit, to keep my mind and hands occupied when I stop smoking at the end of today (hopefully for good this time!), so that I don't eat rather than smoke. This afternoon has been spent listening to Classic fm and sorting out all the threads and taking the first few tentative stitches.

There are many domestic jobs that need doing, but I am determinedly ignoring them, so that I can savour this interval of peace, before picking the threads of my life back up again this evening. As Wayne Muller writes, we all need a regular interval of rest in our lives, in which to pause and savour what we have, and to recharge our batteries - physical, mental and spiritual.

This interval of peace has been bliss!

Holiday Time!

"We're all going on a Summer Holiday, no more worries for a week or two". These lyrics by Cliff Richard are buzzing through my mind today, as I try to clear my desk before going off for a glorious eleven days to Poland.

image by bigbaddaddyvader.com

The word "holiday" comes from Holy Day, a date in the church calendar that was set aside for devotion and reflection. And in the Hebrew Bible is the stern injunction: "Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. Six days you shall labour and do all your work. But the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God; you shall not do any work - you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. "

I have posted before about the importance of the sabbath, of rest, and recuperation from the daily tasks of our busy lives. Nobody should work without a break. It is a recipe for disaster. All of us need "down time", in which to rest our bodies and minds, and to touch base with the important things of life - our families, our friends, and to spend time nourishing our souls.

This post is my last "job" before I start the joyous task of packing and tidying and switching into holiday mode. Blessings on you all.

Living with Intention

A wise friend of mine, Eugene Hughes, posted the following on Facebook this morning: "How do you want your day to be? Ask yourself what's the single most important outcome? It could be a way of doing or a way of being."

Time for reflection and rest is so important. It is too easy to rush from task to task, ticking off items on the to-do list, and then straight on to the next thing. But it is not the best way to live our lives. We are "spiritual beings having a human experience", to quote Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, and we need to remember that more often. Or at least I do.

In his wonderful book Sabbath: Finding rest, renewal and delight in our busy lives, Wayne Miller writes:

"What makes life fruitful? The attainment of wisdom? The establishment of a just and fair society? The creation of beauty? The practice of loving kindness? Thomas Jefferson suggested that human life and liberty were intimately entwined with the pursuit of happiness. Instead, life has become a maelstrom in which speed and accomplishment, consumption and productivity have become the most valued human commodities. In the trance of overwork, we take everything for granted. We consume things, people, and information. We do not have time to savor this life, nor to care deeply and gently for ourselves, our loved ones, or for our world; rather, with increasingly dizzying haste, we use them all up, and throw them away."

He goes on to say that we have lost the rhythm of work and rest, and explains that "Sabbath honors the necessary wisdom of dormancy. ... We, too, must have a period in which we lie fallow, and restore our souls. ... Sabbath time ... is a time to let our work, our lands, our animals lie fallow, to be nourished and refreshed. Within this sanctuary, we become available to the insights and blessings of deep mindfulness that arise only in stillness and time. When we act from a place of deep rest, we ar more capable of cultivating what the Buddhists would call right understanding, right action, and right effort."

It is a different approach to our lives. It is a way of being as well as a way of doing. It is living with intention.

The Quest for Inner Peace

It can sound a bit like an advertising slogan: 'Inner peace and how to find it.' I have come to realise in recent years that inner peace is one of the most difficult things to obtain, and yet harder to hold on to. And I'm not the only one by a long way. Go into any bookshop, and look in the Mind and Spirit section. You will find the shelves groaning with titles like The Little Book of Calm or Chicken Soup for the Soul or De-stress Your Life in 30 Days (I made the last one up, but I'm sure that such a title exists). And there are DVDs you can buy to teach yourself yoga or pilates to regain control of your life. But as a Quakerly-inclined Unitarian, I believe that there has to be a God-element as well. I love the words of our Unitarian hymn:

"I sent my soul some truth to win; / my soul returned these words to tell: / 'Look not beyond, but turn within, / For I myself am heaven and hell.
And as my thoughts were gently led, / half-held beliefs were seen as true; / I heard, as new, words Jesus said: / 'My friend, God's kingdom lies in you.
Now though I labour, as I must / to build the kingdom yet to be, / I know my hopes will turn to dust, / if first it is not built in me."

Inner peace spiral by Carol Hansen Grey

As usual, the Quakers have got it spot on: number 3 of their Advices and Queries sums up what I am trying to say beautifully:

"Do you try to set aside times of quiet for openness to the Holy Spirit? All of us need to find a way into silence which allows us to deepen our awareness of the divine and to find the inward source of our strength. Seek to know an inward stillness, even amid the activities of daily life. ... Hold yourself and others in the Light, knowing that all are cherished by God."

I want to be able to do this so much, and yet it is so hard. How can we attain inner peace in the hurly-burly of everyday life? Most of us spend our lives rushing around from one task to the next - work, shopping, looking after the children, housework, laundry, socialising - the list is endless. People find it more and more difficult to relax, and to attain inner peace, because they've forgotten how to stop.

But we're not supposed to be like this. Every person needs to have some time to centre down, to be at peace, to recharge their emotional and spiritual batteries. I believe that one of the most important of God's creations is the Sabbath - a time to rest, to re-group, and come back to our everyday lives refreshed. One reason why my faith is so important to me is that it has taught me that there is another way of living your life, even if i don't follow it all (or even most of) the time.

There are times when being busy, busy, busy just gets too much. The thought crosses your mind "Stop the world! I want to get off!" But it won't stop, so you have to consciously make the effort to schedule some time to step off the treadmill. It may take a little creative selfishness to realise that you are quite entitled to do this, and quite a bit of planning to reschedule your activities, and find a free time-slot, but it can be done. It doesn't have to be a long time, this 'Me-time', even ten minutes can be enough (depending on what you are doing) it just needs to be regular and consistent.

What you do in your me-time will depend on you. The ideal for me is to follow the Quaker advice and "find a way into the silence which allows us to deepen our awareness of the divine and to find the inward source of our strength", although I find it very hard to stop my mind buzzing round and round, flitting from concern to concern. I have some prayer beads which I made at Summer School a couple of years ago, and they really help me to focus, and to let everyday life go.

Prayer can also lead to a deep sense of inner peace. I have friends who do this, and I am sure that it helps them to see more clearly and live their lives more serenely. Many people find that listening to a piece of really beautiful music can whirl their minds away, and they come back to earth with a bump at the end of the record. Reading something inspirational may also help - this is something I do a lot, to remind myself of what I'm supposed to be doing, and to regain my perspective.

Physical exercise is also a good way of achieving inner peace. I know that sounds weird, because flogging up and down a swimming pool or playing a game of football may seem the complete opposite of peaceful. But certain forms of exercise really do help you to relax and centre down. Yoga is an obvious one - the fact that you have to concentrate on your breathing clears the mind wonderfully. Personally speaking, I find that going for a gentle run is one of the best stress-busters in the world. If you're not pushing yourself too hard, and can get into an even rhythm, running can be very cathartic.

Going for a walk is another good method of relaxing and centring down. Again, the rhythm of your strides can be soothing, and if you start to pay attention to what you are seeing around you, there is beauty almost everywhere - whether it's a mountain, a star, the turn of a stream, or the bark of a tree, or the architecture of a particular building. Many people find that a spot of gardening, or doing a craft that you love, can have the same effect, if you do it in the right frame of mind.

All these things can bring you, in Sidney Lovett's words, "wisdom and patience and solace, and, above all, the assurance that you are not alone in the world."

 

Lesson from a laid-back cat

At our annual Unitarian Summer School, the topic of the workshop group I was in was "inner peace". We looked at various different paths to this desirable goal, and one that really caught my attention was the idea of Sabbath observance; of resting on the seventh day. Generally I find that it is only too easy to do bits & pieces of work every day, whether for church or domestic, and never really have a proper day off. Coincidentally, I had bought a book on the subject a few weeks earlier, and had found the idea very attractive, but hadn't done anything about it. However, at Summer School, a group of us decided to pledge ourselves to making the effort to practice Sabbath observance in our own lives at home, and on Tuesday evening, my first Sabbath started with a lit candle and a shared meal.

On the Wednesday, my husband and son were at work and my daughter was at school, so I was free to carry out my intention of observing a day of rest. I had decided that it would be a screen-free day - no computer, no mobile phone, no TV, and also a housework-free day. On normal days it is my practice to get up, have a shower, have breakfast, and then log in to the computer to check any incoming e-mails, and to look on Facebook.

I had decided to spend the day stitching, reading, journalling and reflecting, perhaps listening to some classical music, but nothing rowdy. But by half-past nine in the morning, I was feeling decidedly twitchy, as though I ought to be doing something. At this point I realised that Lynne Baab, author of Sabbath Keeping, had been right. I too am one of those people who has been sucked into the trap of judging myself and my life by what I do, and by what I achieve. The tricky bit of the day was going to be slowing down, stopping, just being. And trying to find God in the silence.

Lynne Baab suggests that as the Sabbath is supposed to be about resting in God's presence, one should spend some time sitting, just breathing, being, rather than doing. I have always found this hard. But on Wednesday, I was taught how to be still, and how to simply be, by my cat, Bruno. He came and sat on my knee, and I stroked him, and he purred, and then had a doze, while I just sat, and reflected on the love and trust he gives me, no matter what I do. My cat was an angel  that day, a messenger of the divine.

One laid-back cat

Several things about this first Sabbath day surprised me: how long the day seemed, and how slowly it passed (although this was not a bad thing, just surprising); how much I missed writing on a computer - using pen and paper now seems odd; and the strong feeling of disconnection that came from not checking my e-mails or being on Facebook.

But it was a good day. I did feel rested, and by the end of the day (thanks to Bruno) I had relaxed sufficiently to be still, and to trust to God to do the rest. I appreciated the gift of unhurried time, the opportunity to pause, to reflect, to think, without feeling that I had to dash off and do the next thing on the to-do list.