“I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”

Edward Everett Hale

Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nostalgia. Show all posts

Friday, 8 September 2023

Moving Away from Home

 W. Somerset Maugham once wrote, "You should stay where you feel happy." Which is good advice as far as it goes, but not particularly susceptible to reality.


There are so many reasons why people cannot stay where they feel happy... they might be entering a new stage in their lives, which may be for a happy reason - for example, going up to university, moving to a new village or town or city (or even country). Or it may be for an unhappy reason... they might no longer be able to cope with living in their present home, or war may have passed over the place in which they live, or famine or a host of other disasters, both natural and manmade. Which are more difficult, more traumatic reasons to move.

And, because we are perhaps conservative by nature, it will take us a while to settle in to the new place, to make new friends, to come to feel that it is our home. Even if we have moved because we wanted to, the first few weeks or months may be very difficult and we will long to be back home among familiar places and faces. But eventually, if we persevere in "making the best of it", we will, more often than not, settle in to our new community and begin to feel at home there.

Of course, this will largely depend on the kind of welcome we get in the new place. Refugees are often not *allowed* to "make the best of it". Refugees in particular, often face downright hostility rather than any kind of welcome. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to have to uproot yourself and your family because of necessity, rather than desire. The British-Somali poet, Warsan Shire, has written a beautiful, moving and poignant poem about this, called Home, which I urge you to read. The final lines read:

               " no one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your ear
                saying - 
                leave,
                run away from me now
                i don't know what i've become
                but i know that anywhere
                is safer than here."


Friday, 22 March 2019

Rose-coloured Spectacles

This week's quote is by Marcel Proust. "Sehnsucht lässt alle Dinge blühen." Which means "Nostalgia makes all things bloom."


Which I guess is about living in the past, or looking back to the past and only remembering the good bits. For example, if I think about Summer holidays when I was a child, the sun is always shining and I am always happy.

Whereas actually, if I think back objectively, rather than just being nostalgic about it, I can definitely remember any number of rainy days in Wales, when we spent our time indoors, playing board games. Which was enjoyable in another way, but not wall-to-wall sunshine.

Sometimes, nostalgia is harmless. Looking back at happy memories is harmless. But when we look back at the past and re-write it, it can be dangerous. I can never hear the phrase "the good old days" without a shudder. Because they weren't... The good old days are a product of selective amnesia, that we fall for at our peril.

Politicians are masters (and mistresses) of the nostalgia game. Current policies are advocated, because they will bring us back to a glorious past. Which never existed. Not ever.

The only time that is real is the present moment. All else is either memory, or anticipation. So both have an element of fantasy about them, because memory is sometimes faulty and anticipation is often idealised, rarely realistic.

I wonder, how many present moments do we skate over, not appreciating them, because we are too busy either yearning back to a fictionalised past or hoping for an idealised future?