Living Your Dream

 This week's quote reads, "Do not dream your life, live your dream."

I believe there is room for both. It is good to have hopes and dreams about a better world, a better life, for ourselves and others. But it's also important to translate those dreams and hopes into action, to put them into practice.

Life is a process of becoming, evolving - we never actually get there, wherever "there" is. There is always more to do, more to learn, more to discover, more to experience, more to get excited about. But many of us fall into the trap of thinking, "If only I could do / achieve / be X, Y or Z, then I'll be happy, then I'll be content."

I believe there is an important difference between setting your sail to the future and looking forward to getting there, and having some idea of how might that happen, and ignoring all the joys of our present lives in favour of dreams about a yet-to-be perfect life, which will never, ever materialise. Living in the future in this way is such a waste of our lives, of our emotional energy. And it doesn't make us happy. So why do we do it?

Living in the present is living your dream. Deeply experiencing all the passing instances of awe and wonder and joy (as well as grief and sadness, anger and loss) is living your dream. The Transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau, who famously went to live in the woods for a while to deeply experience life, has a lot to say about this; as he explains, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

He also wrote, "What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us." and "You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment."

Yet he also comes down firmly on the side of "live your dream", advising us, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

So yes, dream your dreams - we all need something to work towards; but then put the foundations under them. For me, this is finding the right balance between dreaming your life and living your dream. 

Calm, Never Restless or Impatient

This week's quotation is by Henry David Thoreau, friend of Emerson, and Transcendentalist writer. "The wise man is calm, never restless or impatient. He is completely present to every moment."

I wonder whether he was being aspirational, when he wrote this. Because the Thoreau I have read about believed in throwing himself in to life, in experiencing it deeply. Here is a famous quotation from Walden:

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion."

The words "calm, never restless or impatient" remind me more of the Buddha, when he had achieved Enlightenment. Free from desires and suffering, he had discovered true calm.

It is a rare gift, this quality of calm. Brené Brown calls it a "super-power". She defines it as "creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity." Because remaining calm in an anxious situation can help to defuse the anxiety, whereas a panicked response will escalate it. It's about counting to ten before responding. It's about not believing every Facebook meme you see and instantly reacting to it, but rather going to the source and discovering the true story.

My favourite advice of hers about calm is the two questions she has learned to ask herself before responding to any situation:

1 "Do I have enough information to freak out?"
2 Even if the answer to question 1 is "yes", "Will freaking out help?"

The answer is always, always "no".

Being "calm, never restless or impatient" is wise advice, something we should all aspire to. If I am getting wound up about something, it helps if I breathe, slowly and quietly. And run through the words of the beautiful Celtic prayer:

Deep Peace of the running waves to you.

Deep Peace of the flowing air to you.

Deep Peace of the quiet earth to you.

Deep peace of the shining stars to you.

Deep peace of the Son of Peace to you.