The Key to the Door

This week's quote is by Charles Dickens. "Auch eine schwere Tür hat nur einen kleinen Schlüssel nötig." Which being translated, means: "Even a heavy door needs only a small key."

I have found this to be so true, throughout my life. It is possible to worry away at a seemingly insuperable problem, then inspiration comes, and everything falls into place. 

The metaphor of a key opening a door is a common one in our society. Without a key, it is difficult to step through the door of new knowledge, new insight. It is no accident that the word is also used to introduce the translation of lines on a graph, or figures in a diagram. Without the key, the graph or diagram remains incomprehensible. But with the key, it all begins to make sense.

Keys come in many shapes and forms, both literal and metaphorical. When I was growing up, it was a tradition to be given the key to the door of your parents' house on reaching the age of 21. 

"You've got the key to the door / never been twenty-one before." went the song.

In this case, the key is symbolic of the entrance into the world of adults. These days, children grow up far more quickly, and are considered 'adult' at the age of 18. By which time, many have had their own latch-key for years. And have been engaged in adult behaviours for years, too.

A key can also be a nudge from God, a revelation. Reading the first two pages of Alfred Hall's Beliefs of a Unitarian was a significant key for me, unlocking the wonderful faith of Unitarianism. It really did feel like a revelation from God, when I read those pages, more than 40 years ago. I felt as though I was stepping into a new world, which suddenly made sense to me.

Books can often be keys to new worlds of understanding. So can films, television shows and the Internet.

They can also unlock knowledge we would rather not have. But once the door has been unlocked, it is not possible to 'unknow' the knowledge it has been hiding. We have to incorporate it into our lives and, if it has alerted us to some evil in the world, it is our responsibility to do something about it.

Like Pandora with her box, we have to live with the knowledge we gain. Fortunately, we always have hope, the only virtue that remained when she had opened the lid.

Transforming Your Pain

They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. This happened to me yesterday afternoon, in the car on the way to lead worship at Dudley. I was listening to Richard Rohr's marvellous course The Art of Letting Go, which I've had for years and listened to numerous times. This time, in the last lecture, the phrase "If you do not transform your pain, you will always, always transmit it" jumped up and bit me.

"If you do not transform your pain, you will always, always transmit it."

I have listened to him saying that phrase many times, and have never been able to understand it. How on earth can you transform your pain? But this day, I suddenly realised that transmitting it is exactly what I have been doing. I have struggled in my relationship with a particular person, never mind who, for a long time. Anything that person said or did, I reacted to, and not often in a good way. It has caused me a good deal of suffering, but it was not until yesterday, that I realised that I have been transmitting that suffering, by sharing my negativity about that person with my nearest and dearest.

Rohr went on to say that we don't have to do this, that there is another way. We can step away from the conflict - whatever it is - and refuse to engage with it. Which means that we will be able to see the person we have trouble with, straight, without all the negative garbage we have attached to them.

I thank God for opening the ears of my heart, and for showing me that there is another way. To quote another wise guru, Brene Brown, I am going to trying to "assume positive intent", try to believe that the person is doing the best that they can. I have realised that the reactive me is my Relative Self, and that I have an Absolute Self, who can rise above petty irritations, and not react. 

I don't expect to manage it straight away, but I am, by God, going to try.