Start the Day Well

 This week's quote reads, "If you start the day with a laugh, you've already won it."

A nice thought, and I'm sure it does make a difference, if you can do it. But there is not always something to laugh about. I have a very particular morning routine, which I've followed for a good long while, which works for me. I've blogged about it here. Sitting in silence, walking in nature, and writing are the key elements of my own start to the day. I know how lucky I am to be able to organise my morning to suit myself (and of course, I can't, always, like on a Tuesday, when I have to be out of the house at 7.30 am to look after my grandson). But on the days I can, it sets me up for the day. 

Of course, it suits me, but will probably (okay, almost definitely) not work for you, because you are not a Unitarian minister and writer in your mid-sixties with my particular interests....

Nevertheless, I would argue that having *some* kind of routine is beneficial, if only for self-care and self-nourishment purposes. All of us have some habits - things we do automatically without thinking about them. However, we need to make conscious choices about these habits, so that we drop the ones which are not nourishing us, and make a stringent effort to cultivate those which are nourishing us. Easier said than done....

I first became aware of the power of habits when I read Gretchen Rubin's book, Better than Before, and her follow-up book, The Four Tendencies, which I have blogged about here. Again, it's horses for courses, and my regimented, disciplined start to the day may not suit you, but it works for me. And it's more reliable than finding something to laugh at!

Which habits help you to ease yourself into the day? I would advise you to think about it, work out what is important to you, then try to implement a routine.... your body, mind and soul will love you for it.

The Best Things in Life are Invisible

This week's quote reads, "The best things in life are invisible, so we close our eyes when we kiss, laugh, and dream."

Hmm. Not sure I agree with that one. Or at least, not with the examples they give. It's that little word "so". If they had said "because", I would agree. Because kissing and laughing and dreaming are some of the best things in life and, by and large, we do close our eyes when we do them.

BUT "so" argues a conscious choice, rather than a physical reflex. And I sometimes have my eyes open when I kiss one of my grandsons, my children, my partner, or a dear friend, on the cheek. Perhaps the author of the quote was talking about a full on kiss, lips to lips. 

I generally laugh with my eyes open too... because what I am usually laughing at is in front of them - a funny programme on the TV, for example. And when I daydream, my eyes are open, but unfocused.

I guess I'm being ridiculously literalist and nitpicky here. I suppose it comes with being a writer - words matter. Because, looked at another way, the best things in life are invisible - love, mercy, grace, faith, beauty, goodness, kindness to others, to name but a few. We can see them in action, feel the impact they have on us, but cannot see the qualities themselves. 

Embracing Life

 This week's quote advises us to "Live your life with arms wide open!"

Which sounds both attractive and vulnerable, both at the same time. Small children live this way, because they do not have any negative experiences to close them back up. But soon enough, sadly, most of us will experience unkindness, or worse, from other people, and will begin to armour up to protect ourselves. Why would we choose to live with our arms wide open, if it means getting hurt?

To which the answer is, it is important to take the risk, if we want to live authentically. We have to be brave enough to take off the masks which protect us and show our true selves to the world. The mask of competence, the mask of "Everything's fine", the mask of "I can make it alone", the mask of "I don't need anything (or anyone)."

This is something I have only learned in the past 15 years. Until then, I had spent most of my life hiding behind those masks, because the thought of sharing my needs for empathy, companionship and help was terrifying. But taking that step, opening my arms wide, choosing to show my vulnerable self to the world, has been a vital one on the journey towards my true self, my life in God. Slowly, slowly, I have learned to peep out from behind my mask, and to trust other people with my vulnerability. I'm doing it now, by sharing this with you.... My journey is by no means over yet, but recognising that behind that mask is my true self helps me to continue to be brave enough to be vulnerable. To trust.

Part of the journey has been about reclaiming a childlike trust in life. For me, being childlike means being open and vulnerable, trusting and curious, rather than closed down, armoured up, mistrustful and cynical. It is a courageous way to live because it means that we are more vulnerable to being hurt by others. And when we have been hurt in the past (and who hasn't?) it may be difficult for us to trust others again, to trust that the universe is not (all appearances to the contrary, sometimes) "out to get us". 

I have come to understand that faith and trust are facets of our deepest nature. But as life goes on, and we encounter betrayal in our lives - as we surely will - that faith and trust can be eroded. It can take a lifetime to choose to be sufficiently vulnerable to dare to trust again. To open our arms again. These betrayals, which sadly seem to be an inevitable part of life, need not be great ones which bring our whole world crashing down around us. Any time someone lies to us, even a white lie, or doesn't turn up when they said they would, or is unkind to us, we can feel betrayed. Once we feel that way, it can take a lot of time to build up sufficient faith to make the world seem trustable again. It can even shake our faith in the essential goodness of humankind.

Living authentically, embracing life, is about saying "Yes" rather than "No". I love the Quaker Advice which I first came across in my late twenties: "Live adventurously. When choices arise, do you take the way that offers the fullest opportunity for the use of your gifts in the service of God and the community? Let your life speak." 

"Let your life speak." Yes. I have rarely regretted following it, even if it does often make me feel vulnerable. I would far rather dare and fail, live with my arms wide open, than not dare at all.

          

          

Reach for the Stars

 This week's quote read, "Take time to dream - it is the way to the stars."

Now, call me pedantic and literal, but it takes a lot more than dreaming to reach the stars. It also takes a lot of hard work: time, effort and dedication. Having a dream, as Martin Luther King Jr did, can inspire us and the people around us to put in the effort and dedication required to reach the goal, but will not by itself make a difference.

Throughout human history, the stars have symbolised something high, out of human reach, unattainable, except perhaps by a very special few. And yet, the yearning to explore our world, the solar system, even the stars, seems to lie deep within us. Since the earliest records began, there have been stories of treks and voyages into the unknown - the desire to discover what is over the horizon, out of sight, is very strong.

And in the last century or so, as more and more of planet Earth has been explored, documented, charted, rather than remaining "terra incognita", this curiosity has extended to the skies around our planet. Science fiction writers and film makers have dreamed about what life out among the stars might be like, and we have been treated to fabulous filmic interpretations  - the planets, the people, the alien creatures. And who knows how much programmes, films and books such as Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, Out of the Silent Planet, and The Expanse have influenced the dreams of people, who have gone on to dedicate their lives to the space programme...

My other lingering doubt about reaching the stars is to wonder whether the huge amounts of money and time and expertise might have been better spent on feeding the hungry, healing the sick, saving our planet from the ravages of time and humankind... Maybe our dreams need to start small - dreaming of a better world around us, in our country, our neighbourhood, our community, our family....