People Who Have a Bird

When I first read this week's quotation, "With people who have a bird, you can fly to unusual places", my mind immediately went to Gwaihir the Windlord from The Lord of the Rings, who transports Gandalf and others on his back at various points. Because that's the way I roll...

But I'm fairly sure that was not what the unnamed author was talking about. Perhaps it is the bird of imagination, or inspiration, who can light a fire of enthusiasm in other people's minds, so that they follow the bird owner to places they would not otherwise have gone, either in their minds or in their lives.

This kind of bird can inspire creativity of all kinds: writing, art, outside-the-box thinking, all of which can have a profound effect on the people who hear it, see it, or read it. To give a well-known (and possibly fictional) example: Isaac Newton having an apple dropping on his head and "discovering" gravity. Or Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech, which inspired thousands to stand up for themselves and their rights. Or Bob Geldof seeing a television report about the famine in Africa and rushing off to inspire his fellow musicians to form Band Aid.

All of us, I guess, will be able to think of times when the bird of imagination or inspiration has touched our lives, changing it in profound ways. It's about the conjunction of the right words or image at the right time, when our minds are perhaps more open than usual.

When our minds are more open than usual. In order to be inspired, in order to grow and change, we need to be open to the influences of the outside world, rather than facing inward, closed down, centred on our own narrow lives. Which often takes courage... yet it is so worthwhile.

Change the Perspective

This week's quote is about how to change our perspective on life: "When the world is upside down, change the perspective."

As you can see, there is no author given, so I tried to find one on a few quotes websites. And although I failed, I was fascinated by the variety of quotations about seeing things from an upside-down perspective. One of my favourites was by Thomas Edison, who gives us a new perspective on failure: "I have not failed, I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

Changing the way we look at the world can lead to wonderfully innovative and creative thinking and activity. By daring to look and think "outside the box", to use a well-worn cliché, new ways of doing things may be discovered as well as new solutions to problems. Or we may even cease to see the problems as problems.

Sometimes (often in my own case) it can be the wise words of another person which turn my world upside down, enabling me to see my life from a different angle. The lessons we learn through this process can be hard to receive, but are generally worthwhile. I will never forget the day in the summer of 2013, when I confessed to my spiritual director that I was worried that my drinking was beginning to spiral out of control, and she told me to "Sit with the shame of it." Ouch! And yet, it was the wisest advice she could have given me, as I did just that, which resulted in my taking a vow of sobriety on 2nd September 2013, which I have stuck to ever since. 

Of course, it doesn't need to be something dark which changes our perspective. It can be something wonderful, like visiting a new place and being enchanted by it. Or meeting a new person, who enlarges our horizons. Or becoming a parent or carer - a game-changer for everyone who does it.

I guess that the core of the quote is to keep an open mind - not being constricted by conventional thinking, but being able to look at all sides of a situation, or a person, and hence understand it or them with greater clarity and compassion.

Be Yourself

The words "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken" have been variously ascribed to Anon, Oscar Wilde and Gilbert Perreira. 

No matter who wrote them, I believe they are great advice at the beginning of a new year. After all, who else can we be, but ourselves? And yet, it takes a lot of courage to allow our true selves to be on show to the world. It is incredibly tempting to put on a socially-acceptable mask or persona, partly due to our habit of ascribing labels to ourselves and other people: "partner", "parent", "worker". 

By the time we are approaching middle age, most of us will have a particular position in the world, a particular identity, particular roles, whether in the workplace or outside, and will be identified by particular labels. My principal labels and roles as I started my own inward journey towards authentic living were "mother", "wife", "librarian", "Unitarian" and "runner". Two of which I have now left behind; "runner" with much regret. And one which I have added, "writer", with much joy.

But I believed then that I had to somehow live up to them - to be the ideal "mother", "wife", "librarian", "Unitarian" and "runner". I have learned over the past couple of decades that my only duty is to be myself - the best me I can be at any particular point in time, for sure, but also to accept that I will never be perfect - will never live up to my own (or anyone else's) ideals. The penny dropping moment came in December 2016, when I attended a retreat at Holland House, and realised that the labels I was given are not me. I don’t need to let them identify or define me. They are not mine; in fact, they have nothing to do with me.

So along with resolving to be myself, I have also resolved to follow the splendid advice to do what I can, where I am, with the gifts I have. And to let the rest of the aspirational crap go.

The Power to Change

The Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl, once wrote, "Man does not simply exist, but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at every instant."

Which I find profoundly reassuring, yet also challenging. Reassuring, in that it means each of us has the power to choose how we react to the situations we find ourselves in; challenging, in that it is often so difficult to rise above hurt feelings and hurt ego and let things go.

Because the only thing we are truly in control of is how we respond to experiences and other people. We cannot change how other people act (although we can try to influence them) nor can we often change the circumstances we find ourselves in. Yet inside our heads, we have complete freedom. We can choose how we will respond. Refuse to allow our internal buttons to be pushed. 

It takes a large amount of self-awareness in the moment, to become cognisant that our buttons are being pushed, and not react in our customary negative ways. It can take a lot of self-restraint not to lash out, to hurt the other person as we have been hurt by them. Yet ultimately, it is a much happier, more peaceful way to live.

It also means we have the freedom to choose a different path, to choose to stand up against what we perceive to be wrong, to stand by our principles. In other words, it's a fine balancing act. It is a more challenging way of living. But so worthwhile. 

Imagine how different our world would be, if all the leaders paused to think, "Are my buttons being pushed here? How should I respond to this?" rather than going off pop and charging out with violence...

Equal Justice for All

I found this week's quotation, by the 20th century American political philosopher, John Rawls, somewhat opaque. It read, "Every person possesses an inviolability founded on justice, that even the welfare of society as a whole cannot override."

So I decided to google it, to see whether it was part of a longer, clearer quote. And it was. It continues, "For this reason, justice denies that the loss of freedom for some is made right by a greater good shared by others. It does not allow that the sacrifices imposed on a few are outweighed by the larger sum of advantages enjoyed by many. Therefore in a just society the liberties of equal citizenship are taken as settled."

Which has left me wondering about whether there actually is a "just society", anywhere in the world... Certainly not in the UK, where rich companies and people manage to evade paying little if any tax at all, while the "cost of living crisis" continues to grind the poorer sections of society down. Far too many people will not be having a very "Merry Christmas" this year - the food banks have never been so busy, and many folk will not be able to afford to heat their homes adequately (or indeed at all) during the cold winter months. 

Where is the justice in that? We must continue to campaign for a more equal distribution of resources, for the closing of tax loopholes which enable the very rich to get even richer, and to do what we can, where we are, to help those who, for no fault of their own, have fallen through the cracks.

Wisdom of the Tao

This week's quote is allegedly by Lao Tse: "In the pursuit of knowledge, something is added every day. During the practice in the Tao, something is dropped every day."

I find that so counter-intuitive. I think I was born curious - I love acquiring new knowledge, discovering new things, having new experiences. So yes, every day, I'm adding something new. Is that really so bad? Then I remembered that bit in Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories when Watson tells Sherlock that the earth goes round the sun, and he is annoyed, arguing that there is only so much room for knowledge in one person's brain, and that he chooses to remember only the things which are useful to him in his profession as consulting detective.

And I thought to myself, "Hmm, maybe he has a point." Because much of the knowledge stored in my brain only ever comes in useful on a Monday evening, when we watch Mastermind  and University Challenge. Should I be curating the facts, the knowledge I choose to retain? And how would I do that, anyway?

For us in the West, letting go is one of the hardest things to do. And I believe there is much wisdom to be found in the simple, minimalistic Taoist approach to life. I have blogged about it here. My two favourite books about Taoism are The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff, in which he uses the characters from Winnie the Pooh to explain the principles of Taoism. 

In Chapter 67 of the Tao Te Ching, Leo Tse explains, "“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures – simple in actions and in thoughts, you return to the source of being. Patient with both friends and enemies, you accord with the way things are. Compassionate towards yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.”

This is a very different approach to life, letting things be as they are, rather than constantly trying to change them, improve them. And alongside this is the principle of Wu Wei, the way of water. As I wrote in my other blogpost, "The trick of Wu Wei is that you don’t try to make things work out; you just let them. And somehow, things just happen in the right way, at the right time. Put another way, Wu Wei is the art of being. It is the art of being in such harmony with the Tao that everything happens as it should – not forced, not sought after, not planned, not bought, not desired – it just happens."

Again, so counter-intuitive. But so very wise.

Striving for Objectivity

It is very easy to fall into judgement when we read in the news of the words or actions of someone we do not agree with. It is much harder to appreciate that they, too, have their story. They, too, have come to believe what they do through the sum of their own life's experiences. 

So I was interested to read Peter Singer's words this morning. He wrote, "By accepting that moral judgements must be made from a universal standpoint, I accept that my own interests do not count more than anyone else's interests, simply because they are mine."

I believe that that kind of objectivity is something we should all strive for, even though it's so hard. It involves the practice of empathic compassion, the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes without judgement in an attempt to understand where they are coming from. It means walking alongside them in the darkness and making the hard decision not to flip on the light, to interfere.

We live in a very adversarial world - if you're not for us, you're against us. And the go-to response when we don't agree with someone else seems to be violence, whether it is verbal, physical or psychological. I wonder how different things would be, if we (whether as individuals and governments and pressure groups) all took time out to try to see whatever the issue is from the other person's point of view?

You may think I'm wrong - that there are certain things which are always wrong - war, exploitation of the planet, violence towards other living beings. And I would have to say I agree. Yet I still believe that returning violence with violence, trying to bludgeon the other viewpoint into submission, does not - cannot - lead to peace and restoration in the long run. We need to find another way.