Being Cheerful

The 3rd century BCE Chinese writer and politician, Lü Buwei, once wrote, "The heart must be in harmony and calm; only then will it be cheerful."

Quite what is "harmonious and calm" about a jug of home-made lemonade, I'm not exactly sure, but there we are...

My Concise Oxford Dictionary defines "cheerful" as, "contented, in good spirits, hopeful; bright, pleasant; willing, not reluctant." And yes, I absolutely agree that harmony and calm will help us to have cheerful hearts, but not "only then". Because of the last part of that dictionary definition, "willing, not reluctant." I believe we might do something, in a  "willing, not reluctant" spirit, but feel far from calm while we are doing it. For example, one might say something like, "I could cheerfully have throttled him/her."

I Googled "cheerful quotes" and while many of them agreed with Lü Buwei, and more conflated cheerfulness with optimism, some definitely showed another side of the word. For example:

"The average man has a carefully cultivated ignorance about household matters - from what to do with the crumbs to the grocer's telephone number - a sort of cheerful inefficiency which protects him." Crystal Eastman (an American lawyer). And yes, I know that this is a dangerous generalisation - in our house, my husband and I split the housework fairly evenly.

And I believe that the heart can be "in harmony and calm" when we are feeling far from cheerful. For example, when we hear of the death of an old friend, who perhaps died peacefully in their sleep, surrounded by their family, at a good age. In this circumstance, we might accept that they had a "good death" (if there even is such a thing) but would certainly not feel "cheerful" about it.

Yet I do believe that harmony and calmness can help us to view life in a more cheerful way - to accept what comes without heartburning, and striving to live in the present, neither being too nostalgic about the past, nor worrying overmuch about the future. They might even help us to be more compassionate.

Being in Harmony

 The 19th century playwright Oscar Wilde wrote, "Being good means being in harmony with yourself."

My Concise Oxford Dictionary defines 'harmony' as "agreeable effect of apt arrangement of parts" or "sweet or melodious sound". And it defines the adjective 'harmonious as "forming a consistent or orderly or pleasing or agreeable whole; free from dissent or ill-feeling".

Human beings are complex creatures, being possessed of a body, a mind, a heart and a soul. And often these different parts of us are in conflict with one another - perhaps our mind is suggesting one course of action, while our heart is suggesting another. And it is only when we bring the diverse parts of ourselves to the table (so to speak) and listen to all of them in turn, that we will be able to discern what is the right course for us, what is the next right thing for us to do.

This takes practice, and also the understanding that we are made up of all these parts, each of whom has the right to be heard. I was a "walking head" for many years, almost wholly run by my mind. It is only gradually, over the last twenty years, that I have come to understand that my body and my heart also have valid inputs to make and that I should listen to them. And that I have a soul, that of God within me, whose "still, small voice" might be heard if I could clear my monkey mind out of the way, or at least, still it for long enough to hear that elusive voice.

It's about learning to understand what is right for us on the deepest level - what will nourish our hearts and souls, as opposed to making us feel fearful, worried or empty. Of course it is never possible to re-track, to undo the choices we have made in the past, but we can try to be more aware of the choice-making process, of the possibility of harmony. So that we don't compromise all the time, choosing the seemingly easy over the right. Because very often, if we don't listen with all of ourselves, and make a choice in haste, just to get it over with, this will actually lead to more worry and heartache, and a distinct lack of harmony in our lives.

So how can we cultivate this very sane approach to our lives? How can we follow the "breadcrumbs from God" as Wayne Muller so beautifully expresses it in his book, A Life of Being, Having and Doing Enough? He tells us that "If our choices feel right and true, if we hold them, listen to them, and act upon them clearly and well each successive moment - regardless how seemingly small or insignificant - we are more likely to feel fruitful and sufficient, moment by moment, choice by choice... We walk moment by moment, leaning into a vigorous reliance upon our heart's knowing and an unshakable faith in our intuitive capacity to listen for and know, what must and what must not be done."

If we can manage to do this, so easy to describe, but sometimes so hard to implement, process, then we will find that our lives will be in harmony with our deepest selves, that we will experience that sweetness.