Discerning the Next Right Thing

The management guru, Peter Drucker, once wrote, "Doing the right thing is more important than doing the thing right."

He further explains, "Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things." In other words, we can spend our lives doing things right, but not make a difference, if the things we have chosen to concentrate on are not the right things.

How are we to discern what the "right things" are? Parker J. Palmer speaks of "the thread you've followed, unknowing, all along, the thread that strings together all you've been and done, the thread you didn't know you were tracking until, toward the end, you see that the thread is what stays as everything else falls away."

What is this thread? I suppose in one sense it could refer to our conscience, or to that deepest part of ourselves, which is where the Divine Spark resides. Wayne Muller suggests, "We make only one choice. Throughout our lives, we do only one thing - again and again, moment by moment, year after year. It is how we live our days, and it is how we shape our lives. The only choice we make - what is the next right thing to do - responds to a similarly vital inner gravity, an invisible thread that shapes our life, as our life meets the world."

Muller goes on to ask, "What is the next right thing for us to do? Where in this moment, shall we choose to place our time and attention? Do we stay or move, speak or keep silent, attend to this person, that task, move in this or that direction?"

The results of following this process have shaped our lives. All of us are where we are, now, today, because of our past choices. And where we end up, tomorrow and the next day, will depend on the choices we make today.

I guess it is about learning to understand, to discern, what is right for us on the deepest level - what will nourish our hearts and souls, as opposed to making us feel fearful, worried, or empty. Of course, it is never possible to re-track, to undo the choices we have already made; but we can try to be more aware of the choice-making process, so that we don't compromise all the time, choosing the seemingly easy over the right. Because very often, a choice made in haste, just to get it over with, actually leads to more worry and heartache, rather than less.

So how can we cultivate this very sane approach to our lives? Discerning what the next right thing is, is something we need to practice every day. We also need good, honest friends, to whom we can go for advice when we are struggling, and who will tell us honestly and compassionately how we are doing - whether we seem grounded and centred, on the right track, or off-course and flailing. We also need to *be* such friends, to one another.

I think we have to believe that if we follow our intuition truly, it will not let us down. Doing so will enable us to remain in our integrity and follow the thread of our deepest beliefs.  Integrity is not something we can achieve all at once. It is the work of a lifetime. Yet every time we choose the way of integrity, the way of truth-telling, the way of following the deepest thread of our lives, the more it will become habitual and the braver we will become. It is up to us to make the attempt to be authentic, to live with integrity, to be true to ourselves and to what we value in our hearts, rather than trying to persuade ourselves into inappropriate feelings, just because they are what the majority in society believe. It is not a particularly comfortable way to live - it is much easier to run with the crowd and to follow others - to "fit in". 

But if we can learn to follow the "still, small voice" of our consciences, to follow where that invisible thread is leading, there is a better chance that we will be able to do some good in the world. We are all inter-connected - to other human beings, and to this beautiful planet we live on. As Joel Miller wrote, "Any act one of us will choose must change other lives, just as every act others choose changes our own lives."

May we all choose to trust our intuition, and follow the deepest thread of our lives, the "breadcrumbs of God" that will lead us to a place of centred integrity.

 

 

 

 

 

Look, But Do Not Judge

 The fourth century theologian and philosopher, Augustine of Hippo once wrote, "The gaze of the eyes can only reproduce what it sees, but by no means judge."

I'm not entirely sure what he meant by it... the use of the word 'can' rather than 'should', renders his meaning a little opaque, or at least to me. Because in my experience, most of us constantly make judgements about what we see. Even when it would be wiser to discover more before passing judgement.

I can remember a television advert for The Guardian, many years ago, which made a deep impression on me. First the viewer sees a picture of a little old lady walking down a city street. Then the camera cuts to a young man running along the same street. And the mind instantly jumps to the conclusion that the young man is up to no good - perhaps he is planning to attack the old lady... Then we see him jump at her, grabbing her. An instant later, the viewer realises that the young man has saved her from serious injury, if not death, as a piece of falling masonry lands where she was standing.

The moral of the "story" was that we should not judge by appearances, but investigate what is happening more carefully, by reading The Guardian. And I have never forgotten it. I cannot remember what the slogan was, but I do remember the feeling of revelation - that we should never judge on first sight.

Perhaps we need to bring all of ourselves to the matter of judgement - not only our physical senses, but also our intuition, our intellect and our compassion. So that we do not judge by appearance only.

Being in Harmony

 The 19th century playwright Oscar Wilde wrote, "Being good means being in harmony with yourself."

My Concise Oxford Dictionary defines 'harmony' as "agreeable effect of apt arrangement of parts" or "sweet or melodious sound". And it defines the adjective 'harmonious as "forming a consistent or orderly or pleasing or agreeable whole; free from dissent or ill-feeling".

Human beings are complex creatures, being possessed of a body, a mind, a heart and a soul. And often these different parts of us are in conflict with one another - perhaps our mind is suggesting one course of action, while our heart is suggesting another. And it is only when we bring the diverse parts of ourselves to the table (so to speak) and listen to all of them in turn, that we will be able to discern what is the right course for us, what is the next right thing for us to do.

This takes practice, and also the understanding that we are made up of all these parts, each of whom has the right to be heard. I was a "walking head" for many years, almost wholly run by my mind. It is only gradually, over the last twenty years, that I have come to understand that my body and my heart also have valid inputs to make and that I should listen to them. And that I have a soul, that of God within me, whose "still, small voice" might be heard if I could clear my monkey mind out of the way, or at least, still it for long enough to hear that elusive voice.

It's about learning to understand what is right for us on the deepest level - what will nourish our hearts and souls, as opposed to making us feel fearful, worried or empty. Of course it is never possible to re-track, to undo the choices we have made in the past, but we can try to be more aware of the choice-making process, of the possibility of harmony. So that we don't compromise all the time, choosing the seemingly easy over the right. Because very often, if we don't listen with all of ourselves, and make a choice in haste, just to get it over with, this will actually lead to more worry and heartache, and a distinct lack of harmony in our lives.

So how can we cultivate this very sane approach to our lives? How can we follow the "breadcrumbs from God" as Wayne Muller so beautifully expresses it in his book, A Life of Being, Having and Doing Enough? He tells us that "If our choices feel right and true, if we hold them, listen to them, and act upon them clearly and well each successive moment - regardless how seemingly small or insignificant - we are more likely to feel fruitful and sufficient, moment by moment, choice by choice... We walk moment by moment, leaning into a vigorous reliance upon our heart's knowing and an unshakable faith in our intuitive capacity to listen for and know, what must and what must not be done."

If we can manage to do this, so easy to describe, but sometimes so hard to implement, process, then we will find that our lives will be in harmony with our deepest selves, that we will experience that sweetness.

In the Eye of the Beholder

It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. (I know not by whom, I've just looked it up in both my Dictionaries of Quotations, and it isn't there, to my surprise). However.

What does this mean? I think that it is reminding us that there is no one standard of beauty in the world, no matter what the celebrity press might tell us. For example, it is a truism that every new parent thinks that his or her baby is the most beautiful creature in the world, when an objective view might think otherwise (to say the least). So maybe if we can believe that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we might be able to avoid making snap judgements about people based on how "pleasing" their appearance is to us, because we will understand that our standard of beauty may not be shared by others.

The importance attributed by many in our society to  having a particular type of body or set of features worries me. I am not immune to this - I look at pictures of the great and the good (or even the merely famous) and compare myself unfavourably to them. This even though I KNOW that the photos I am seeing are often airbrushed impossibilities.

Perhaps the real meaning of the phrase is that when you look at someone with love in your heart, they are beautiful, because you are looking at the whole person, not just at their physical appearance. Perhaps we should train ourselves to look at others in this way, so that we may, in the words of the Quakers, "refrain from making prejudiced judgements about the life journeys of others" and "Remember that each one of us is unique, precious, a child of God."