Should We Ever Admit Defeat?

 This week's quote reads, "You are only defeated when you admit defeat."

And my first reaction was, 'Hell, yes. Fight to the bitter end.' But then I thought some more, and realised that this is only true for the things which really matter - values, the defence of loved ones, important stuff... We should never admit defeat in our striving for a better world, for everyone, not only people but all the other inhabitants of our imperilled blue-green planet. We should continue to fight for equality, for peace, for an end to poverty and hunger and pollution and war. We should never admit defeat. 

But often, we carry on fighting, carry on trying, to achieve things which don't really matter - the ideal weight, popularity, the perfect anything. Because perfection is not attainable, at least, not in this world. And we are wasting our finite resources of time and energy and motivation if we set our teeth and keep on fighting to reach these unattainable goals. And beating ourselves up in consequence, when we fail. Again.

I honestly believe that is is better to settle for "good enough" in many cases. To do our best, but then be content. Which will sometimes mean coming to terms with unwelcome truths (for example, in my case, you will never weigh the same as you did in your twenties) and instead moving the goal posts, so that you have a new and achievable aim, which can be met without killing yourself. So in this particular example, my new 'win', my new victory, is to eat healthily, do sufficient exercise to keep my body fit, and stop comparing myself with anyone else. Because my body is absolutely good enough, and deserves cosseting and caring for, rather than depriving and shaming.

It can be hard to step back from the fight, to realise that perfection is not attainable, and, most importantly, that it very often Doesn't Matter. That we would be so much happier, so much more content, if we appreciated our small victories and stopped shooting for the moon.

I'm not saying we should not aim high - of course we should. But we should not beat ourselves up if we do not attain perfection. Another example: it was the annual competition of my local writing group yesterday afternoon, and each of us read our stories aloud, which were then marked out of ten by everyone else. Then, at the end, the numbers were collated, and the three winners announced. I was a little disappointed not to be placed, but happy that the three stories I had judged "best" came first, second, and third.

On the way home, I consciously told myself that it was okay not to have won; that I had written the best story I could, I had turned up and taken part, and that was enough. I admitted defeat, let it go. And am much more content in consequence.

Height Wants To Be Climbed

 This week's quotation, by the early 20th century German writer and poet, Paul Richard Luck, reads,  "Height cannot be given, but it wants to be climbed."

"Height... wants to be climbed." I guess he means that we often view an upward path as a challenge, and that we will only be able to see what is at the top, once we have made the effort of climbing it. Nothing comes for free - "height cannot be given". 

Except when it can... I can still remember my huge sense of indignation as a child, when we had climbed Mount Snowdon in North Wales, and found the summit buzzing with tourists who had caught the train up from Llanberis, four and a half snaking miles below. I felt they had cheated, by not climbing the mountain as we had done.

But generally, we cannot attain the heights without doing some hard work to get there. As Luck said, "height cannot be given." And this is true of any field of human endeavour, much though we might wish it were otherwise. For example, I would love to be able to play the piano as well as a concert pianist, but I know that this will never happen without daily hours of practice over a long period of time. And it's not a sufficiently high priority for me, so I don't have the motivation to put in the necessary work.

Writing, on the other hand, is a priority, and I practice my craft for at least an hour each day (this is fiction / creative non-fiction writing rather than the writing I do as part of my role as a Unitarian minister). And because I have put in the time and effort, my writing is beginning to improve. Like most writers, I will never be completely satisfied with it, because it's always possible to do better. Sometimes, I read the words of others - writers I admire, such as George Eliot, Joseph Conrad, J.R.R. Tolkien and Terry Pratchett - and just sigh quietly to myself. Because I will probably never write as well as they do. But by constant pracice, I can get better, can learn to find my own voice.

I believe there is something in every human being, which impels us towards the heights. Which fills us with motivation and enthusiasm for our chosen vocation (whatever that is), so that we don't mind putting the work in, so long as it gets us a little closer to those seemingly unattainable heights. Which makes us strive to do the best we can, each day.

And I don't think it is ambition, although that is part of it. I think it is something purer, something more selfless, something we experience through grace. If attaining our own personal "height" is sufficiently important to us, we will carry on plodding upwards, one step at a time, because it is natural to follow the best we know, to do our best to reach the elusive heights.