An Interval of Peace

I am feeling very blessed. I have just spent a few days at my best friend's cottage in Cumbria, and we had a gorgeous time. Didn't go anywhere, nor do anything exciting. Just a quiet chummery of good conversation, knitting (her) / stitching (me) and some seriously competitive games of canasta.

This was the sun setting in Arnside on Wednesday evening, the day I arrived. So beautiful, so peaceful. These few days have enabled me to re-centre myself, in preparation for my final three weeks at work, which are going to be hectic in the extreme. As well as my normal tasks, I have a lot of things to tick off, so that I am able to do a decent handover to my successors (I'm retiring on 26th February). 

I guess the point of this post is that sometimes, we need to step back, out of our busy lives, and admire a sunset, relax with a friend, concentrate on Being rather than Doing. The timing of this lesson of me has been perfect, and I feel much more able to get what needs to be done, done, because I have enjoyed these few peaceful days away.

I recognise that not everyone is lucky enough to have such a bolthole to retreat to, and know how very fortunate I am. But simply setting down your pen, walking away from your desk, shrugging on a coat and walking outside for a few minutes can help. Or doing something you really enjoy, simply because you enjoy it. We all need a break from work, sometimes.

The Four Rs

 There are four activities (or perhaps in two cases, non-activities) which I find to be vital for my soul's continuing well-being. And this past few days, I have been indulging in all four of them, to my delight and joy... And for me, they are summed up in this lucky photo of my favourite beach in all the world, Benar Beach, which was taken earlier this year. There is something about the "permanence in motion" (to quote Stephen Donaldson) of sunlit waves which restores my soul. 

Benar Beach in mid-Wales (Sue Woolley)

What are my Four Rs? Rest, Relaxation, Reading, and that well-known honorary R, WRiting. I drove up to spend a few days with a very dear friend on Sunday afternoon, straight after leading worship in Shrewsbury (because that meant I was part way there already). My friend lives in a tiny hamlet in the Lake District and over the past few years, I have fallen into the very pleasant habit of spending a few days in her hospitable company three or four times a year. Both of us enjoy our time together very much.

The shape of my visits is unvarying - we indulge in extensive bouts of the three Cs - Canasta, Crochet and Conversation. As the days pass, I find myself sleeping in later and later, which does me good. And also travel to delightful towns which have good wool shops and bookshops. I will be travelling home with three new books... Bill Bryson's Dictionary for Writers and Editors, Write to be Published by Nicola Morgan, and Illuminated Alphabets by Patricia Carter, all bought secondhand - wonderful! I've already read the Nicola Morgan book - I knew I recognised the name - I enjoyed her first novel, Mondays are Red, about a teenager with synaethesia - more than twenty years ago.

Reading is the only constant activity in my life. During 2023 so far, I have read 95 books. To be fair, many of those are re-reads, which take less time, but I have also discovered some new joys: Fingersmith by Sarah Waters, Writing Down the Bones and Old Friend from Far Away by Natalie Goldberg, Femina by Janina Ramirez, and The Poet's Manual and Rhyming Dictionary by Frances Stillman. All delightful, and in some cases, very useful.

How do you restore your soul?

Time to Relax

 American journalist, Sydney J. Harris, once wrote, "The time to relax is when you don't have the time for it."

And there are times when we look at the postcard which came with this week's quote, when we sigh in longing, wishing we were there, on that comfortable hammock, looking out to sea and relaxing. 

At first sight, Harris's advice may seem paradoxical - how on earth are we supposed to relax when we don't have the time for it? It might even make us feel angry - what the **** is he talking about? But over the years, I have found that it is very good advice indeed. Because when we get too busy, rushing from one task to the next without even a breathing space in between, that is when it becomes impossible to pay proper attention to what we are supposed to be doing, and the results are rarely good. 

Yet if we strive to take a more leisured approach to the to-do list, giving ourselves a little resting space between each task, we will be able to move from one to the next with a clearer mind, and not get so wound up in what we *have to* (which is often self-imposed pressure) get done. 

I believe that this advice has become ever more important in the past few years, as more and more of us have begun to work from home, following the pandemic. And if we are not careful, it can be difficult to maintain proper boundaries between "work life" and "home life". Yet boundaries are so important, otherwise we will never be able to properly rest, relax.

One thing I have begun to do in the past few years, is to try to only answer work-related e-mails when I'm using my work PC. Rather than when they pop up on my phone. Because if I'm not sitting at my work PC, or doing ministerial work outside my home, I really shouldn't be working. And answering work-related e-mails *is* work. Our mobile phones can be a tremendous source of temptation - they are always to hand, constantly pinging for our attention (unless we've turned all the alerts off). I blogged about my own mobile's insidious influence here.

So these days, I try to consciously separate work time from relax time. And feel very much better for it. How do you maintain the boundaries between work and home?

My Little Piece of Heaven

Marcel Proust, the French author of the famous In Search of Lost Time, advises us to "Always try to keep a little piece of heaven above your life."

And that is exactly what I have been doing this week. After getting this Sunday's service written and recorded (on Monday!) I set off on the long journey up the M6 to my best friend's cottage in Cumbria. Since then, I have enjoyed three gorgeous days in her good company, conversing, playing endless games of canasta, and sitting in the lounge crocheting. It has been peaceful and relaxing and good.

Coming up here has been my "little piece of heaven" for some time now. When I'm tired and frazzled after long weeks and months of solid work, she is kind enough to offer me a bolt hole, where the only thing I have to think about is enjoying her company.

Whenever I drive back home, there is the feeling of leaving behind a haven of peace and re-entering my real life. I'll be leaving tomorrow morning, as I have a service at Shrewsbury on Sunday. And that is good too. I am blessed in my vocation. But sometimes, just sometimes, it is good to spend a few days away from it all. Then I return home rejuvenated and relaxed, ready to reconnect with the wider world.

Thank you, Celia.

The Joy of Idleness

 The run-up to the Unitarian GA meetings, which took place between 3rd and 6th April, was a very busy time for me. Since I came home, just over a week ago, I have been rediscovering the joy of (occasional) idleness. So I was amused to read this week's quotation, by the first century Roman statesman, scholar and philosopher, Cicero: "There is no-one who cannot indulge in doing nothing for once."

I spent a very enjoyable Easter Weekend in the company of my immediate family - my daughter came to visit us on Maundy Thursday and stayed for most of Good Friday, during which we went for a gorgeous walk in Salcey Forest in the Spring sunshine; we enjoyed the company of my son, his partner and her son on Easter Sunday, when we went over to their house for a delicious lunch; and Maz and I went to see the film Dance Crazy on Easter Monday evening. Which was a real blast from the past for both of us, being made up mainly of footage from gigs by live Two Tone bands such as The Selecter, The Specials, The Beat, The Bodysnatchers, Madness, and Bad Manners. Which were all the rage when he and I first became an item. All in all, the long weekend was a lovely antidote to the busyness of the previous weeks.

So I was able to return to work, refreshed, on Tuesday, and am thoroughly enjoying the process of regrounding myself in my calling as District Minister. 

Yet, looking at Cicero's words again, I see that even during the long weekend, when I was resting from work, I was not simply "doing nothing". I much prefer active leisure, rather than loafing around. Even in the evenings, when I'm relaxing in front of the tv, I generally have either some crochet or cross-stitch on the go. In fact, I find Doing Nothing really hard.

Yet I know it is good for me - to spend time each day in stillness and silence, open to the presence of the Spirit around and within me. So each morning I do a short sit on my meditation bench, in front of the shrine in my bedroom, to set me up for the day. It is the only time I can tolerate actually doing *nothing*, as opposed to actively enjoying my leisure time. Doing the things I love nourishes my soul. 

Rest - the Most Important Thing in Life

 Wikipedia describes the author of this week's quotation, Vita Sackville-West as, "an English author and garden designer... a successful novelist, poet and journalist, as well as a prolific letter writer and diarist." Which sounds like quite a busy life. I wonder whether that was why she wrote, "Rest is one of the most important things in life, but how few find it."

I also wonder whether it was her garden designing which enabled her to find true rest. It must have been a complete change from her normal occupations of writing and reading, occupying a quite different part of her heart and mind.

I also find rest and peace in the natural world. I am just home from a fabulous, but very intensive, Ministerial Fellowship conference about white supremacy and the need to practice anti-racism in our lives and in our congregations.  It was a joy to go for a long walk with some friends on the Wednesday afternoon; to enjoy the beautiful Peak District countryside; to simply be, rather than learning and thinking. (Even if we took a wrong turn on the way back from The Barrel and ended up returning to the Nightingale Centre via Foolow!). The views were fabulous and I came back feeling refreshed and reinvigorated.

I believe it is the stimulation we get in our lives that makes the rest so enjoyable. If we sat around doing nothing all day, that would be tedious in the extreme. But if our lives are generally busy, taking time out to truly rest can be so healing for the soul.

How do you find rest?

The Importance of Rest

I love this week's quotation, from Psalm 116: "Return, O my soul, to your rest, for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you."

Which fits in beautifully with my mood at this moment. I'm just back from a gorgeous week's holiday in Solva / Solfach in Pembrokeshire. The weather has been glorious - blue skies and sunshine every day, and we walked along the Pembrokeshire Coast Path, visited St David's, poofled around Solva and generally had a wonderful time. The Lord did indeed deal bountifully with us. And I am so grateful. When we awoke to an overcast sky this morning, we knew our holiday must be over.

Most importantly, I have rested, relaxed, and not worried about anything. We got up when we felt like it (except on one day, when we had to be at the RNLI station in St Justinian for a boat trip out to Ramsey Island, at 10.00 am); ate what and when we felt like - Pembrokeshire has several *wonderful* icecream shops - and I felt my soul exhale. 

No-one is meant to work and work, 24/7. We all need a regular interval of peace in which to be still and allow our souls to catch up with us. Not often a whole week, but I try to ensure that I have one day in the week when I do not do anything work-related. I might go out for a day-trip with my Dearly Beloved, or might just go for a walk in the Forest, then do some writing and some crochet. 

When did you last rest?

Season of Rest

I will be leading worship this coming Sunday, on the Winter Solstice. I like the modern Pagan interpretation of Winter as a time of stillness, darkness, dormancy, rest. So this week's quotation, by Karl Tucholsky, struck a chord with me: "There are many different noises. There is only one silence."

In the lead up to the Christmas season (and, by the way, how did two. or even twelve, days turn into a "season"?) many of us will be feeling not quiet and peaceful, but frazzled and exhausted. Human beings are not supposed to operate at peak capacity 365 days a year. It isn't natural, and it sure is wearing. We all need some "down time" to rest, nourish ourselves and prepare for the year ahead.

One of the readings in my service, by Stephanie Noble, reminds us "Dark is the rich, fertile earth that cradles the seed, nourishing growth. Dark is the soft night that cradles us to rest.... Dark is the gestation of our deep and knowing self. Dark is the cave where we rest and renew the soul."

Yet how many of us, in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season, have time to rest, and nourish ourselves? Only too often, I am afraid, we end up feeling shattered, rather than rested, as we try to meet all the demands of this season of conspicuous consumption. How often do we give ourselves the chance to stop, to rest, to replenish our souls?

It is only too easy to rush from task to task, ticking off items on the to-do list, and then straight on to the next one. Yet there are times when being busy, busy, busy just gets too much. The thought crosses our minds: "Stop the world! I want to get off!" But it won't stop, so we have to consciously make the effort to schedule some time to step off that treadmill.

So if we can, perhaps we might all consider committing to spending the next few days in Sabbath rest, the deep breath before the plunge into Christmas proper. And perhaps even resolving to carve out a regular rest day each week in 2020.

What you choose to do with your time of rest and silence will be up to you. Each person has different ways of relaxing. I love reading, and stitching, but the ideal for me is to follow the Quaker advice, and "find a way into the silence which allows us to deepen our awareness of the divine and to find the inward source of our strength."

May your Christmas be peaceful and restful, and blessed with light and friendship.

Room to Breathe

This week's postcard is an idyllic scene - a white beach in front of a blue sea, in the sunshine. The ideal place to rest and restore one's soul, perhaps.

Just looking at it makes me yearn for a few peaceful days off. And the quotation, by Victor Levin, says: "Geniesse deine Freiheit und gib deiner Seele Raum zum Atmen."

"Enjoy your freedom and give your soul room to breathe."

I wonder, how often do we do that, even on holiday? In our family, the main holiday each year is spent exploring cities, which is great fun, and very interesting, even satisfying, but it is rarely about giving my soul room to breathe. Walking holidays near lakes and mountains do that, but again, they're still active.

I don't think I've ever been on holiday, and just rested. Just. Rested. Often, when I come back from an exploring-a-new-city holiday, we've packed in so much to our few days away, that I come home needing another holiday to get over it!

It's interesting that the derivation of the word "holiday" is holy day. On holy days, we do stop and rest, and give our souls room to breathe in the resulting freedom.

Hucklow Summer School helps me to do exactly what Levin advises: enjoy my freedom and give my soul room to breathe. A week in the Nightingale Centre, set in the midst of the beautiful Peak District, in the company of other Unitarians, does give my soul room to breathe. Perhaps we should rename it 'Hucklow Holy Days'.

Of course, there are theme talks to attend, and the all-important two hours a day in your engagement group, but the rest of the activities are optional, and there are many opportunities to give your soul room to stretch and breathe and rest. I would recommend it to all Unitarians.

That Bit

A friend of mine just posted a lovely meme about the days between Christmas and New Year:

And the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. I realise that I really love "that bit", when the frenetic socialising in the lead-up to Christmas and the two Big Days (Christmas Day and Boxing Day) are over, and I have the chance to sit down quietly and appreciate the days that have gone, and the people with whom I have spent them, and the gifts I have received. I am blessed in usually being able to take the period between Christmas and New Year off work. There is generally oodles of food left in the fridge and cupboard, so we can nibble on our favourite dainties, and drink our favourite drinks (peppermint and liquorice tea, in my case) without the pressure to put on a show. And there is often something good to watch on the TV. It is an interlude of peace between the frenzy of Christmas, and the re-dedication to work that the New Year brings. And I am very grateful for it.

Bliss.

I wish you all a very blessed That Bit, and a Happy, Peaceful, and Productive New Year.

An Interval of Peace

Today has been my day of rest. Not my day "off", in which I struggle to catch up with domestic tasks, but a true day of rest. I have taken a deep breath, and once more stepped outside my own life to let my soul catch up.

And it has been so peaceful. It was a lovely morning, so I went for a slow, untimed run round the block, breathing in the green of springtime and marvelling at the efficiency of my legs and heart and lungs. Then I had a shower and breakfast, giving thanks for unlimited hot water, and good food.

Most of the morning was spent reading Wayne Muller's wonderful book Sabbath: Finding rest, renewal and delight in our busy lives, which I have blogged about before; writing a letter by hand; and helping my daughter to revise for her A2 History exam on Monday.

I have recently treated myself to a new cross-stitch kit, to keep my mind and hands occupied when I stop smoking at the end of today (hopefully for good this time!), so that I don't eat rather than smoke. This afternoon has been spent listening to Classic fm and sorting out all the threads and taking the first few tentative stitches.

There are many domestic jobs that need doing, but I am determinedly ignoring them, so that I can savour this interval of peace, before picking the threads of my life back up again this evening. As Wayne Muller writes, we all need a regular interval of rest in our lives, in which to pause and savour what we have, and to recharge our batteries - physical, mental and spiritual.

This interval of peace has been bliss!

Living with Intention

A wise friend of mine, Eugene Hughes, posted the following on Facebook this morning: "How do you want your day to be? Ask yourself what's the single most important outcome? It could be a way of doing or a way of being."

Time for reflection and rest is so important. It is too easy to rush from task to task, ticking off items on the to-do list, and then straight on to the next thing. But it is not the best way to live our lives. We are "spiritual beings having a human experience", to quote Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, and we need to remember that more often. Or at least I do.

In his wonderful book Sabbath: Finding rest, renewal and delight in our busy lives, Wayne Miller writes:

"What makes life fruitful? The attainment of wisdom? The establishment of a just and fair society? The creation of beauty? The practice of loving kindness? Thomas Jefferson suggested that human life and liberty were intimately entwined with the pursuit of happiness. Instead, life has become a maelstrom in which speed and accomplishment, consumption and productivity have become the most valued human commodities. In the trance of overwork, we take everything for granted. We consume things, people, and information. We do not have time to savor this life, nor to care deeply and gently for ourselves, our loved ones, or for our world; rather, with increasingly dizzying haste, we use them all up, and throw them away."

He goes on to say that we have lost the rhythm of work and rest, and explains that "Sabbath honors the necessary wisdom of dormancy. ... We, too, must have a period in which we lie fallow, and restore our souls. ... Sabbath time ... is a time to let our work, our lands, our animals lie fallow, to be nourished and refreshed. Within this sanctuary, we become available to the insights and blessings of deep mindfulness that arise only in stillness and time. When we act from a place of deep rest, we ar more capable of cultivating what the Buddhists would call right understanding, right action, and right effort."

It is a different approach to our lives. It is a way of being as well as a way of doing. It is living with intention.