Letting Go (reprise)

Ajahn Chah, the Thai Buddhist monk, had some good advice for our times, "If you let go of something, you are a little happier. If you let go of a lot, you are a lot happier. If you let go completely, you are free.

And yes, I am aware of the benefits of letting go of my worries, my to-do lists, and so on. I blogged about it here some time ago. And still find that wonderful Lynn Ungar quote "Gone to the fields to be lovely, be back when I'm through with blooming" both inspirational and aspirational. In this glorious Spring weather we're having, I make a point of walking alone in Salcey Forest each morning, to re-centre my self and ready myself for the day.

But I'm not sure I'll ever attain the true Nirvana which Ajahn Chah is talking about. I'll never be able to "let go completely". And that's okay. Yet being aware of my predilection to get bogged down by "the small stuff" has helped me to let at least some of it go. My daily sitting practice and daily walk both help, but if I have a bad week, and start to feel that rather than waving, I am drowning (thank you, Stevie Smith) I have found two prayers in particular most helpful. One is very well-known; it is by St Teresa of Avila:

Today, may there be peace within.

May I trust God that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

May I not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May I use those gifts that I have received,

and pass on the love that has been given to me.

May I be content knowing I am a child of God.

May this presence settle into my bones,

and allow my soul the freedom

to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

The other is by Pat Preece, a Unitarian worship leader from the south-east. It reads:

We are blessed to have the habit of prayer.

To know that we can pause.

We can take time to breathe and be still.

The whirlwind of thought

can slow and in that moment

we can loosen tensions

and anxiety.

In the woods of our lives

we can stand and see

the beauty of the trees - 

we can enjoy the shade of the leaves.

And when we have rested,

we can face the world again - 

strengthened in peace

and calm.

Amen

When I read either of these powerful prayers, I can feel my worries slipping away, and a sense of peace invading my soul. Letting go is hard, but it is surely a blessing.

Letting Go

On this day, two short weeks before Christmas, many of us will be feeling stressed out and tired, as we rush around, trying to get everything "just right" for the season. But I'm going to try something else, just for once, and just let go.

It is very easy to spend our lives chasing after the next thing that needs doing, the next goal that presents itself to us, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As biological animals, we move forwards through time, and it is natural for us to look to the future. But I am afraid that this is often at the expense of appreciating what we have in the present. This is certainly true in my case. I always have a to-do list on the go, and have to consciously include a weekly half-day Sabbath on it, so that I can let go, and spend some time just being. If I miss that half-day, I am noticeably tenser, and more fratchety.

This is why I adore the words of the poem Camas Lilies by Unitarian Universalist minister Lynn Ungar, which I came across the other day: "What of your rushed and useful life? Imagine setting it all down - papers, plans, appointments, everything - leaving only a note: 'Gone to the fields to be lovely. Be back when I'm through with blooming.'"

"Gone to the fields to be lovely. Be back when I'm through with blooming." Such a fabulous reminder that actually there are other things than the current task, which are just as important, if our lives are to be rich and meaningful, rather than rushed and pressured.

I am slowly coming to recognise that many of the pressures in our lives (certainly many of the  pressures in my life) are self-inflicted. It is my distracted self who chases after material possessions, who needs to be in control, who perpetually worries about the next thing, who strives after perfection, and who finds it hard to let go of old regrets and grievances. I'm doing it all to myself.

I'm beginning to realise that the starting point for breaking out of all this pressure, for getting away from all this self-inflicted stress, is Just Letting Go. Relinquishing control, stepping out of the centre, sitting still, and letting nothing happen. It involves trust - trust that things will work out without my help, trust that God has got my back.

And it's a slow process. I'm sitting for half-an-hour every morning, trying (or not trying) to just be, and trusting that eventually I'll get something out of it. Trying to let go of the need to succeed. Just breathing, and listening to the silence.