The Joy We Give

 It is Christmas Eve. We are coming towards the end of an extraordinary year, full of joys and sorrows. Like Kahlil Gibran, I believe that the two are inextricably linked and that, "when one sits along with you at your board, remember that the other one is asleep upon your bed."

Since the first lockdown began, on 23rd March, there has been much to be sorrowful about - the gatherings missed, the hugs and kisses unexchanged, the family members not seen, the friends lost - especially this last. But there has also been so much joy, so much connection, which has lifted my heart. Unitarians of all stripes have found new ways of staying in touch - via Zoom, via YouTube, via e-mail, via telephone, even via letters and cards. Two in particular stand out for me: Jane Blackall's wonderful Heart and Soul gatherings on Zoom, now also being led by others, have been a lovely way to connect for so many people. She has enabled a true ministry of joy to happen. And Celia Cartwright's daily Ruminations on Facebook, recording the joys and sorrows of the year, another faithful ministry. Reading them each day has been a real spiritual pick-me-up for me and for many others.

For myself, when I have joined Zoom gatherings, it has been so good to talk to other people, both friends and strangers, to see well-loved faces and to make new friends. I am very much looking forward to joining the Unitarian Carol Service via Zoom at 6.30 this evening.

This week's anonymous quotation says, "The more joy we give to other people, the more joy returns to our own hearts." And I have found that this is so, this year. We are social beings and reaching out to others, in whatever way, has been such an important part of this year, which has filled my heart with joy. I have had so many appreciative e-mails from people who have read and listened to my online services, it has warmed my heart. 

There has also been the lovely possibility of "attending" Zoom worship services all over the country and even further afield, which has been another source of joy. I understand that many new folk have attended Unitarian worship for the first time in this way. When we "get back to normal" (probably towards the end of 2021) I hope that these online gatherings will continue, as they have enabled us to reach out to people who would not otherwise cross our thresholds. I am certainly going to carry on producing an online service each week, as many of the congregations in the Midlands only meet twice a month, and I want to offer them some kind of worship on "non-Church" Sundays.

May you all have a blessed and peaceful Christmas, and a better New Year.

Flying Free

Jonathan Livingstone Seagull by Richard Bach was something of a cult book when I was a student. Most of the people I knew had a copy on their bookshelves, and it is not difficult to understand why. It is the story of one seagull who believed that there was more to life than following the fishing boats and fighting over scraps. Jonathan's great love is flying, and his one goal in life is to become the best flyer he can be.

Predictably, because his behaviour is different, and odd, and seagulls, like people, distrust those who are different and odd, he is Outcast from the Flock. He is sad about this, but it doesn't stop him working towards becoming the best Jonathan Livingstone Seagull he can be.

And this is the great enchantment of the book. I didn't really "get" it when I first read it, because I was still very much in the first half of life, trying to fit in, trying to make a place for myself in society. It has taken me most of the years since then to understand that there is more to living than this. True happiness comes when you strive to become the best person you can be, regardless of what anybody else thinks. It is living with integrity that matters.

And this is the message that Jonathan learns, from the Elder Gull, and from other enlightened gulls. And then he realises that even that is not enough; he needs to share what he knows with the Flock back home - the Flock that rejected him and spurned him. Because the freedom and joy of flight changed his experience of life from that of humdrum existence to that of joyful swooping and diving and pushing to the limits. And this needed sharing.

Which is what I'm just starting to understand. The joys, the insights, that I have learned on my own spiritual journey as a Unitarian and as a human being mustn't be kept to myself - they have to be shared with others, in the hope that they might inspire somebody else to start their own journey. Which is why I became a minister.

So I owe Jonathan Livingstone Seagull a lot, even if it took me a while to get the message.

Passionate Living

I have a dear friend. Superficially, we are quite different. She is very feminine - always wears make-up, has her nails done, and has a shoe collection to rival Imelda Marcos. Whereas I rarely wear make-up, keep my nails fairly short for ease of typing, and own about ten pairs of shoes, two pairs of which are trainers. And yet, we are very good friends indeed, and I count myself blessed that she is a part of my life.

image: kaceycrawford.com.au

We were talking last night, and realised what it was we have in common - we are both passionate women, who do what we do, and like what we like, with our whole selves. This can have its down side - we are "neck or nothing" people, who find it very difficult to moderate. (which is one reason why I've stopped smoking and drinking this year - a few were never enough, in either case). And my friend is a stickler for housework - her house is always like a new pin, no matter how tired or busy she is.

But passion can be good too. It can mean that we throw ourselves into the things we care about wholeheartedly, with no holding back, no partial commitment. I am passionate about my family, about my ministry, about Unitarianism and about writing. I am passionate about my friends, about running, and about cross-stitch. So I do and interact with all these things with my whole self, with heart and mind and soul. And that is good.

Which is why I was unutterably moved by a quotation by Lyman Abbott, which was posted on Facebook the other day, and which I believe are words to live by:

"Put all your ambition, all your enthusiasm, into the work of service. Make it the aim of your life to leave the world better and happier because you have lived in it, and take without greed or grasping what the world will give you of service in return."

Consequently, I Rejoice

Five years ago today, I made a leap of faith. I gave up my (then) safe local government job as a professional librarian, and started working as District Facilitator for the Midland Unitarian Association. A few months later, I applied, and was accepted for, Unitarian ministry training, which started in October 2009. It was the beginning of a journey which has changed my life profoundly.

Consequently, I rejoice.

This phrase is taken from T.S. Eliot's beautiful poem Ash Wednesday, which Karen Armstrong uses as the leitmotif for her second volume of autobiography The Spiral Staircase, which is sub-titled My Climb Out of Darkness. Part way through the book, she writes a superb analysis of the poem, which is indeed peculiarly applicable to her life. As a result, this is one T.S. Eliot poem that I (at least partly) understand with my head, as well as feeling with my heart. (As compared with The Waste Land, which I adore, but do not understand at all).

Consequently, I rejoice.

While I do not share Armstrong's initial sense of loss at my change of direction (far from it), I do share her sense of assurance that I have done the right thing. Towards the end of the book, she writes: "In the words of the late Joseph Campbell, we have to 'follow our bliss', find something that wholly involves and enthralls us, ... and throw ourselves into it heart and soul." Yes.

Consequently, I rejoice.

At another point in the book, she writes: "It was not simply my personal circumstances that had changed, but my religious landscape was also being transformed." Oh yes, me too. The process of training for ministry and the privilege of spending the last five years serving the movement I love, has been a transformative experience. In 2008, although I had been a Unitarian for nearly 30 years, I had not really dug deep and explored why I believed what I believed. Attendance at Summer School, my two years at Harris Manchester College Oxford doing ministry training, and my concurrent two years at Regent's Park College Oxford doing the Diploma in Biblical & Theological Studies with Baptist ministry students - these three experiences have certainly "transformed my religious landscape."

Consequently, I rejoice.

One huge change has been the institution of regular spiritual practices in my life, including daily prayer bead practice and journalling, and, in the last 18 months / two years, a regular weekly half-day Sabbath, and a weekly entry in this blog. I have also been working with a wonderful spiritual director, who is showing me how to recognise the Spirit at work in my life, and how to work with it, to try to become the best Sue Woolley I can be.

Consequently, I rejoice.

Finally, Karen Armstrong's work around compassion has been an enormous influence on me, and has shaped the direction of my life and ministry. Reading her words firstly in The Spiral Staircase, and then in Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life, has opened my eyes and ears and changed my focus in life. I realise that compassionate living is the journey of a lifetime, and that it will always be two steps forward, one step back, but at least I'm trying to move in the right direction. And I feel so very blessed.

Consequently, I rejoice.

57 Varieties of Ministry

A certain famous manufacturer of baked beans, soups and tomato ketchup has the slogan "57 Varieties". According to the Heinz website, "While riding a train in New York City in 1896, Henry Heinz saw a sign advertising 21 styles of shoes, which he thought was clever. Although Heinz was manufacturing more than 60 products at the time, Henry thought 57 was a lucky number. So, he began using the slogan '57 Varieties' in all his advertising."

In some faith traditions, the only people allowed to lead worship have to be qualified, whether they are called 'priest' or 'minister' or 'vicar' or 'rabbi'. In the Unitarian movement, the person leading worship in your church or chapel next Sunday might be any of the following: a worship leader, a Lay Preacher, a Lay Person In Charge, a Lay Leader, a Lay Pastor, or a Minister. All are ministering to the congregation in the broadest sense - serving others by ministering to their needs.

I believe that there are many kinds of ministry, and many kinds of minister - maybe even 57! If you look up the verb "to minister" in the dictionary, it says "render aid or service (to person, cause etc)" That makes us all ministers - we are all rendering aid or service to each other, and towards building our beloved Unitarian community, and a better world.

So what is ministry all about? In the traditional sense of the word, it is about having pastoral oversight of a congregation, and regularly leading worship. But I think that in a Unitarian context, it could be interpreted much more widely. I think that there are three main types of ministry going on in our churches and chapels: spiritual, pastoral and practical, because the needs of congregations are also spiritual, pastoral and practical. An invocation by the American UU minister Jack Mendelsohn sums up these three aspects of ministry:

"Here, in this sanctuary of ancient dreams and wisdom and beauty, we come to grow, to be healed, to stretch mind and heart, to be challenged, renewed; to be helped in our own continuing struggles for meaning and for love; to help build a world with more justic and mercy in it; to be counted among the hopers and doers."

Ministry in a Unitarian context is not just something that the congregation passively receives; it is something we all do together, helping each other along the way.

Spiritual ministry is about feeding the spiritual selves of the congregation. It is about delivering worship that will inspire them and help them to grow, that will stretch their minds and hearts, that will challenge and renew their spiritual selves. It is about deep listening and sharing.

Pastoral ministry is about being there for each other in times of need, whether it is listening to someone's problems, or sharing their joys, or visiting them in their homes or in hospital, or conducting rites of passage -namings, weddings and funerals.

Practical ministry is about serving refreshments after the service, or sitting on a church committee, or keeping the chapel clean and tidy, or providing flowers for Sunday worship, or playing the organ, or giving someone a lift to chapel on Sunday morning, or any number of other practical things that turn your church or chapel from a social club into a beloved community. As Lionel Blue writes, "it is not preaching about kindness, it is about doing a kindness."

For me, the thing to remember, to bear in mind all the time, is that we are all human beings, all fellow pilgrims on the same spiritual path. As Cliff Reed explains in Unitarian? What's That? "Unitarians affirm that all human beings originate in the Divine Unity, all have something of God in them, all are alive with the same divine breath."

As I see it, our job as Unitarians, as human beings, is to be constantly aware of the "divine influences" around us, in the world, in our fellow human beings, and to recognise that there is "that of God in everyone", and that we are all connected to each other, on a very fundamental level. It is when we make these fundamental connections that ministry takes place, whether it is in a Unitarian context or in our everyday lives.