It Depends on Your Point of View

 This week's quote reads, "Some people feel the rain, others just get wet."

Feeling the rain... when the recent heatwave finally broke and some very welcome rain fell last Monday, I dashed outside to feel it on my face. So I guess I come into the first category.

How we respond to external stimuli depends on our state of mind, our state of heart. There is always more than one way of looking at anything: positively, negatively, or (as my DH would say) realistically. I'm a glass half-full person myself, so I tend to look on the bright side of life. Yet I recognise that this is a very privileged viewpoint: I am able to do this because I have a foundation of good things in my life to hold me up, to support me.

Each person's life is a rich tapestry of joys interwoven with sorrows. I do believe that they are inseparable, and that to feel on, you have to be open to feeling the other. And having the capacity to feel great joy and great sorrow also means that we have the capacity to love greatly. Which is surely a gift? We are living in difficult times, with terrible news breaking daily, whether it is Donald Trump bombing Iran, people starving in Gaza (and in so many other places) or the myriad species of plants and animals dying out because of our lack of care for our beleaguered planet.

Yet I also believe that there is a deep joy which comes from within us, which is not dependent on circumstances and outside events for its existence - it is a divine gift. If I may give you a personal example: the other day, I went for a walk around the fields which surround our village. The weather was beautiful. Summer was showing herself everywhere, in the ditches and the hedgerows and the fields themselves. I saw a red kite wheeling overhead, riding the thermals with such grace and majesty, and heard the pure song of a skylark. It was just gorgeous, and my heart was full of joy.

Then I came home and checked my e-mails, to find that a dear friend had died in their care home. My bubble of joy burst, and I was filled with sorrow by the news of their passing.

And yet, the fact that I had been open to the joy of the surrounding natural world helped me to be able to cope with the sorrow I felt. Without the one, the other would have hit me a lot harder. I do believe that if we live our lives vulnerably, at a deep spiritual level, feeling the rain rather than simply getting wet, we become more resilient to sorrow, as we are more open to joy.

Logic vs Imagination

This week's quote reads, "Logic takes you from point A to point B. Imagination takes you wherever you want."

There is a place for both, in most of our lives. Logic is needed for when we have particular tasks to do, and need to get from point A to point B. And for problem solving, and for keeping a cool head, when all around are losing theirs.

But imagination, which frees our minds from all bonds, is the richer of the two, I think. With my writer's hat on, I recall that the fantasy author, George R.R. Martin, famously divided writers into architects and gardeners - those who plan and outline their novels before writing, and those who make it up as they go along: discovery writers.

I have always considered myself to be a discovery writer, but when I was working on my fantasy trilogy, The Stones of Veylindré, I found myself falling into a third camp, which I christened "landscape gardeners". These I defined as writers who decide what to write as they go along, but also have a clear idea of what the final 'garden' will look like. I spent a good deal of time world-building - drawing a map, thinking about the history, geography, politics, culture and magic systems of my world. And had a rough idea of the journey my characters were going to go on. But as I wrote each chapter, it took unexpected turns as I 'discovered' what happened next.

I believe the same dichotomy applies to our spiritual / religious journeys. Unitarians used to be known as 'Rational Dissenters'. According to Wikipedia, "In the 18th century, one group of Dissenters became known as 'Rational Dissenters'. In many respects they were closer to the Anglicanism of their day than other Dissenting sects; however, they believed that state religions impinged on the freedom of conscience. They... desired an educated ministry and an orderly church, but they based their opinions on the Bible and on reason rather than on appeals to tradition and authority. They rejected doctrines such as original sin or Trinity, arguing that they were irrational. Rational Dissenters believed that Christianity and faith could be dissected and evaluated using the newly emerging discipline of science, and that a stronger belief in God would be the result."

This summary was generally true of Unitarianism in Britain right up to the 1960s, I think. However, since then, a more mystical strain has arrived and, while we still insist on the primacy of freedom of conscience, we have also found room for diverse spiritual paths, and are far less likely to "dissect and evaluate" our faith. We have found that there is room for imagination, for mystery, for embracing all kinds of spiritual practices from diverse faith traditions, for faith working alongside reason. And I think we are all the better for it.

Be Yourself

 This week's quote reads, "In a world where you can be anything... be yourself!"

I have blogged before about the importance of this, here. And am unapologetic about repeating part of that post, Brené Brown's definition of authenticity:

"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means:

* cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable

*exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle

* nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough."

Which is the key to being yourself, in my opinion. It is also the work of a lifetime. Most of us will fall short of this ideal, for much of our lives. Because it is such a brave path to follow. It means that we no longer care about fitting in, being perfect. Being our genuine, real selves is what matters. It means living in consonance with our values and daring to take a stand on the things which matter to us, regardless of whether it will make us unpopular, get us into trouble.

The part of this week's quote that I struggle with is, "In a world where you can be anything". Because honestly, does anyone actually have the freedom to "be anything"? It may be true of a few brave souls, who fight against the restrictions imposed upon them by society, and come through triumphantly, leading the way for the rest of us. But most of us find it very difficult to resist those restrictions, and will choose instead to settle for what is a) possible and b) achievable without making ourselves social outcasts.

What we all can do, however, is to choose to support the brave few as they walk their lonely path. Who knows, our support may make all the difference and, if we are steadfast, it may make us brave enough to follow them, to stand up and become our own true selves.

What I am clear about is, the attempt must be made. Living authentically, living up to our values, is vitally important in today's society, where all kinds of minorities are persecuted, and where the actions of powerful, corrupt leaders have a huge negative impact on our world. We must stand up for what we believe in, and take the consequences. Perhaps that is what being yourself means, after all.

Being All In

 This week's quote reads, "You cannot go half 'all-out'."

With which sentiment I would thoroughly agree. I have always tried to be a committed sort of person - if I believe in something, I believe in it with my whole heart and want to align my life with that belief. Yet of course, I have often fallen short of that ideal, as most of us do, one time or another.

I admire people who are "all in" so much - they decide to stand behind (or up for) something they care deeply about, and nothing stops them from being a rock solid witness. Such people can change the world.

One example who comes to mind is Greta Thunberg - when she began her solitary school strike for climate change outside the Swedish Parliament seven years ago, she cannot have imagined the impact her action would have on so many people. She is entirely committed to working for climate justice and has made a massive difference to attitudes and awareness of this issue throughout the world (although I am sure she would say, far from enough - she is after action, not attitudes and awareness).

Being "all in" inevitably means going out of our comfort zones, not being "half-assed" but caring deeply enough about whatever it is to make a thorough-going commitment to ACT, in whatever ways are necessary, to make the change you desire happen. It means ignoring the reactions of the people around you, and remaining steadfast.

Yet so many things seem to get in the way of whole-hearted commitment - lack of time, lack of energy, conflicting calls on both time and energy, the temptation to take the easy route and let things slide. Most of us lack Greta's single-minded burning ambition, we fall short of total commitment. 

What do you care about enough to be single-minded, whole-hearted, completely committed to make the change you desire happen?

Living Your Dream

 This week's quote reads, "Do not dream your life, live your dream."

I believe there is room for both. It is good to have hopes and dreams about a better world, a better life, for ourselves and others. But it's also important to translate those dreams and hopes into action, to put them into practice.

Life is a process of becoming, evolving - we never actually get there, wherever "there" is. There is always more to do, more to learn, more to discover, more to experience, more to get excited about. But many of us fall into the trap of thinking, "If only I could do / achieve / be X, Y or Z, then I'll be happy, then I'll be content."

I believe there is an important difference between setting your sail to the future and looking forward to getting there, and having some idea of how might that happen, and ignoring all the joys of our present lives in favour of dreams about a yet-to-be perfect life, which will never, ever materialise. Living in the future in this way is such a waste of our lives, of our emotional energy. And it doesn't make us happy. So why do we do it?

Living in the present is living your dream. Deeply experiencing all the passing instances of awe and wonder and joy (as well as grief and sadness, anger and loss) is living your dream. The Transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau, who famously went to live in the woods for a while to deeply experience life, has a lot to say about this; as he explains, "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

He also wrote, "What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us." and "You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment."

Yet he also comes down firmly on the side of "live your dream", advising us, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

So yes, dream your dreams - we all need something to work towards; but then put the foundations under them. For me, this is finding the right balance between dreaming your life and living your dream. 

The Sound of Rain

 This week's quote reads, "When you close your eyes, the rain sounds like applause."

And I really had to think about the sound of rain - it has been so long since we have had any. Which is worrying. I've just checked the weather app on my phone and there is apparently a 75% chance of rain tomorrow where I live, and I'm so glad. It's nearly the end of May, and unless we have some good solid downpours, the crops in the fields around the village are not going to grow as they should. The weather has been beautifully sunny, and I've thoroughly enjoyed feeling the sun on my skin when I've been out and about, but we urgently Need Some Rain.

According to a recent article in The Guardian, "It has been the driest start to spring in 69 years. England saw its driest March since 1961 and in April the country received just half its normal rainfall. Farmers have had to start irrigating crops earlier, and reservoir levels are either notably or exceptionally low across the north-east and north-west of England." 

The article also explained that some crops are already failing and "livestock yields could also be at risk; grazing is not yet short, but farmers point out that fields will need a decent amount of rain to get animals through the summer." The deputy President of the National Farmers Union warned, "The extreme weather patterns we have experienced over the past few years are impacting our ability to feed the nation."

The water companies seem to be sadly underprepared for this calamity and are said to be simply trying to prevent too many leaks and praying for rain.

In The Climate Book, compiled by climate change activist Greta Thunberg in 2022, hydroclimatologist Peter H. Gleick explains the central role of water in our lives. He writes, "Water connects us to everything on the planet: our food and health, the well-being of the environment around us, the production of good and services, and our sense of community. And water is central to the climate - the entire hydrologic cycle of evaporation, precipitation, run-off and all the stocks and flows of water around the world lie at the heart of our climate system." 

He suggests that we need to "re-think" our relationship with water, following a "soft path... moving away from sole reliance on hard, centralized infrastructure like dams, aqueducts and large water treatment plants to a more integrated reliance on treatment and re-use of water, better capture and use of stormwater, smaller-scale distributed water systems, and, when economically and environmentally appropriate, the desalinisation of brackish or ocean water. It also calls for us to reconsider how we use water and to maximize the benefits water provides while minimizing the amount of water and energy we use."

As individuals, we can do some things: not waste water by leaving taps running; shift from taking baths to taking showers; not using hosepipes to water the plants in our gardens (if we are lucky enough to have gardens); and change to a plant-based diet (or at least, reduce the amount of meat we eat). But it is when we join together with others that we have the power to change the climate-unfriendly systems in place around the world. As Unitarians we can become members of Unitarians for Climate Justice, and join them in climate-friendly actions. They explain, "Many of us now see the Climate Crisis as the greatest threat facing the world and its beautiful, diverse community of living beings. As Unitarians, we know the struggle for a sustainable future for life on earth cannot be separated from the struggle for global justice and our belief in the inherent equality and worth of all human beings irrespective of wealth, country, race, religion, sexuality or gender identity." (from U4CJ Facebook page)

We can also join pressure groups such as Greenpeace and Friends of the Earth, and follow their advice about how to live more sustainably.

Maybe then, rain could sound like applause...

Should We Ever Admit Defeat?

 This week's quote reads, "You are only defeated when you admit defeat."

And my first reaction was, 'Hell, yes. Fight to the bitter end.' But then I thought some more, and realised that this is only true for the things which really matter - values, the defence of loved ones, important stuff... We should never admit defeat in our striving for a better world, for everyone, not only people but all the other inhabitants of our imperilled blue-green planet. We should continue to fight for equality, for peace, for an end to poverty and hunger and pollution and war. We should never admit defeat. 

But often, we carry on fighting, carry on trying, to achieve things which don't really matter - the ideal weight, popularity, the perfect anything. Because perfection is not attainable, at least, not in this world. And we are wasting our finite resources of time and energy and motivation if we set our teeth and keep on fighting to reach these unattainable goals. And beating ourselves up in consequence, when we fail. Again.

I honestly believe that is is better to settle for "good enough" in many cases. To do our best, but then be content. Which will sometimes mean coming to terms with unwelcome truths (for example, in my case, you will never weigh the same as you did in your twenties) and instead moving the goal posts, so that you have a new and achievable aim, which can be met without killing yourself. So in this particular example, my new 'win', my new victory, is to eat healthily, do sufficient exercise to keep my body fit, and stop comparing myself with anyone else. Because my body is absolutely good enough, and deserves cosseting and caring for, rather than depriving and shaming.

It can be hard to step back from the fight, to realise that perfection is not attainable, and, most importantly, that it very often Doesn't Matter. That we would be so much happier, so much more content, if we appreciated our small victories and stopped shooting for the moon.

I'm not saying we should not aim high - of course we should. But we should not beat ourselves up if we do not attain perfection. Another example: it was the annual competition of my local writing group yesterday afternoon, and each of us read our stories aloud, which were then marked out of ten by everyone else. Then, at the end, the numbers were collated, and the three winners announced. I was a little disappointed not to be placed, but happy that the three stories I had judged "best" came first, second, and third.

On the way home, I consciously told myself that it was okay not to have won; that I had written the best story I could, I had turned up and taken part, and that was enough. I admitted defeat, let it go. And am much more content in consequence.