Staying Focused

"The small rooms or dwellings direct the spirit to the goal; the large ones distract it." This quotation, by Leonardo da Vinci, could be interpreted in so many ways...

Is it that the small rooms have less to distract us, so that our focus remains on the goal?

Are the small rooms like breadcrumbs in Hansel and Gretel, each one giving us another clue about the road home?

Is it like the Quakers say, "A simple lifestyle, freely chosen, is a source of strength"?

I can see how a large room or dwelling, filled with many things, could distract the spirit from its goal. But a large room or dwelling that is minimalistic or even empty, would have few distractions...

So I don't quite understand what da Vinci meant by small rooms or dwellings *directing* the spirit...

So this is less a blogpost with a message, than a blogpost with questions. Any answers would be most welcome!

Light of Joy and Life

This week's quotation is by Honoré de Balzac: "Light is a symbol of joy and life." As simple as that...

And yes, my heart is lifted by visions of light, by photos like this one. I do a quiet sit each morning, and at this time of year, I often witness the return of the sun at dawn from my bedroom window, as the sky changes from black to darkest blue, then red and orange and yellow, before metamorphosing into what we call "the clear light of day".  It fills my heart with wonder at the beauty of God's universe.

In our Unitarian services, we light a candle, a chalice light, at the beginning of each service. The symbolism of this is deep and wide-ranging. It is a symbol of life, and shared community, and also of the hope that comes from being in community, together.

Quakers speak of "the Light within", which is their term for the divine spark that is in each of us. I have a beautiful set of Zen Osho Tarot cards, and one of them shows a shining figure inside a foggy shape...

It reminds me that this divine Light is deep within each of us, waiting to be noticed, and attended to.  And also that a similar divine spark resides deep within every single human being - old, young, male, female, non-binary, of whatever sexual orientation, class or race. A part of each of us that has never been wounded, never suffered grief.

And I believe that it is our job, while we are here in this life, to recognise the divine spark, that of God, in others, and reach out to it in recognition and joy. So easy to write, so very hard to remember, sometimes...

Free Connection

I'm not sure whether the author of this week's quotation had Unitarians in mind when she wrote it, but it is so appropriate for us: "To be connected without being bound - that is the art of living." Karin E. Leiter.

Because for me, the ability to be connected to my Unitarian community without being bound by a doctrinal creed is what makes it special. We share the values of respecting freedom of belief, based on an individual's reason, conscience and lived experience, and do our level best to not only tolerate, but also accept and respect, the beliefs of others. even when we do not share them (so long as they do not harm any person or living thing).

The majority of faith traditions require their members to sign up to a particular set of beliefs. Unitarians (and Quakers) are different.

For example, Quaker Advice number 5 says (in part): "While respecting the experiences and opinions of others, do not be afraid to say what you have found and what you value. Appreciate that doubt and questioning can also lead to spiritual growth and to a greater awareness of the Light that is in us all."

But my favourite advice about connection without binding is number 17:

"Do you respect that of God in everyone though it may be expressed in unfamiliar ways or be difficult to discern? Each of us has a particular experience of God and each must find the way to be true to it. When words are strange or disturbing to you, try to sense where they come from and what has nourished the lives of others. Listen patiently and seek the truth which other people's opinions may contain for you. Avoid hurtful criticism and provocative language. Do not allow the strength of your convictions to betray you into making statements or allegations that are unfair or untrue. Think it possible that you may be mistaken."

For me, this is a very civilised approach to living. It is about respect, patience and empathy. Which is how we connect with one another on a deep level.

Kahlil Gibran also has some wise advice about how to connect without binding, when the Prophet speaks of marriage:

"Let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
for only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
for the pillars of the temple stand apart,
and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

Control versus Faith

For the first time, I disagree root and branch with Baltasar Gracian y Morales, the author of this week's quotation. He writes, "The only time we can really control is the future. We can shape it according to our wishes."

Um, no, we cannot. Brené Brown explains this beautifully in her Sounds True course The Power of Vulnerability, when she says, "How many of you love someone? Hands across the room. How many of you can be sure that person loves you back? That they will love you tomorrow?" (I'm paraphrasing from memory).

The fact is, we have NO control over the future. None. The only time we can really control is the instant of the present, when we can choose to respond to whatever is in front of us in this way or that way. And even then, we can get hijacked by our emotions, and respond in a way we didn't want to, didn't plan to.

We may, perhaps, influence the future, by our actions and words in the present. We may have faith that something is going to turn out one way or another, and may work towards that goal. But because we live in the infinite complexities of the real world, full of other people and a myriad of events, we cannot control the future.

To give a mundane example, I have organised many conferences and courses - booked the speakers and the venue, publicised the event as best I can, done all the paperwork to ensure that the day runs smoothly. BUT when the day comes, I cannot control how the speaker(s) and the participants will interact, nor what the participants will learn or gain from their attendance. I have to take that on faith.

Perhaps faith is about letting go of the need for certainty, and going forward joyously into the unknown, keeping ourselves open to respond to whatever happens.

Approaching the Future with Joy

This week's quotation, by Epicurus of Samos, seems almost paradoxical, "Those who are least concerned about tomorrow, go to meet it with the most enthusiasm."

I had to read it several times, before I suddenly understood what it means. And why it is so appropriate in the first week of a new year. Particularly this new year, which so many of us are entering with great foreboding. I think it's about what Brené Brown calls "foreboding joy".

She explains this, in her book, Daring Greatly, "Softening into the joyful moments of our lives requires vulnerability. If, like me, you've ever stood over your children [sleeping] and thought to yourself, I love you so much I can hardly breathe, and in that exact moment have been flooded with images of something terrible happening to your child, [that is foreboding joy]. ... Once we make the connection between vulnerability and joy, the answer is pretty straightforward: We're trying to beat vulnerability to the punch. We don't want to be blindsided by hurt. We don't want to be caught off-guard, so we literally practice being devastated or never move from self-elected disappointment."

Approaching the future with joy requires vulnerability. The road to happiness means being "least concerned" about tomorrow, not spending all our days worrying and anxious about what *might* happen. Because, here's the thing. Very often, it won't.

I heard a lovely quotation years ago, not sure who it's by:

"Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.... and all is well."

Anxiety and worry are very real, and very debilitating. And fatal to present happiness. I count myself very blessed in being a natural optimist. I am married to a natural pessimist, who is always waiting "for the other shoe to drop" as Brené Brown puts it.

Perhaps I am naïve, always hoping for the best. But it is a much happier way to live. I have faith that things will turn out alright in the end, and that I must work to help that to happen. 

So not just blind faith, but faith and works. Let's go forward into 2020 with a zeal to work for a better future.  For all of us.