Nurturing the Roots

"The wise person nurtures the root, because if it thrives well, virtue will grow from it." This week's quotation by Lao Tse could be interpreted in so many ways, on so many levels...

First of all, literally, in terms of nurturing trees. Every tree that grows takes in carbon dioxide, thus removing it from the atmosphere, which helps to combat climate change. The environmentalist pressure group, Friends of the Earth, currently has a campaign to double the amount of tree cover in the United Kingdom, currently languishing at 13%, in comparison to a European Union average of 35%. They say on their website that "we believe one of the best solutions to protect our environment and achieve net zero emissions (removing as many emissions as we produce) is to double UK forest."

But of course the idea of nurturing roots can also be applied to individual human beings, and to groups of human beings who come together to form communities.

Individuals need solid roots (a safe and happy home, a loving family and a solid moral and ethical grounding) if they are to grow into wise, virtuous human beings. If one or more of these elements is missing, it will be that much harder for the person to grow up grounded and able to nurture others in their turn. Of course, it is far from impossible, many people overcome all kinds of deprivation and thrive in spite of them, but those growing up with solid roots will, perhaps paradoxically, find it easier to step out on their own as grounded adults.

image: flickr

When an individual joins a Unitarian congregation, they are becoming a member of a wider beloved community, that of the Unitarian movement. At their best, Unitarian congregations provide a safe haven for individuals wanting to explore what gives their lives purpose and meaning.

I know that my next statement will be controversial: I believe that if Unitarian congregations wish to provide such a safe haven, they need to work out some basic statement of how they intend to "be in community" - a covenant statement, perhaps. , like that of the Unitarian Universalist Association. One of the pages of their Tapestry of Faith learning scheme says: 

"The free church tradition of which we are a part does not offer up a creed, a certain set of beliefs, that everyone must accept in order to belong to the community. Instead, the boundaries of our community are determined by commitment and participation. Our central question is not 'What do we believe?' but rather 'What values will we uphold and how will we do this together?' Our covenant, the promises we make to each other in regarding how we will be a community of faith, is at the heart of what it means to be Unitarian Universalist."

Maybe British Unitarians should do the same, so that our members and prospective members have some place to root their belonging, and thrive....

Appreciating the Silver Lining

"Many people miss the silver lining, because they are expecting gold." This week's quote is by Maurice Setter. Whom I was not able to find out anything about, because of the similarity of his name to Maurice Setters, a footballer. *sigh* Dear old Google!

Which, it occurred to me, is a good example of missing the silver lining because I was expecting gold. So I dutifully clicked on the Maurice Setter*s* Wikipedia entry, and discovered that he played for Exeter City, West Bromwich Albion, Manchester United, Stoke City, Coventry City and Charlton Athletic.

Moving swiftly on...

At this stage in the corona virus lockdown, I am sure that the "gold" we are all hoping for and expecting is that the death rate from this awful virus will decrease, that an effective vaccine will be found, that the pressure on the dedicated staff of the NHS will ease, and that the lockdown will be lifted.

So it was hard to watch the evening news last night, and to see that the daily death rate had gone back up, and that the lockdown is to be extended for another three weeks. My heart goes out to all the people whose loved ones have died during this time. Knowing that they will have died alone, with no friends or family close to them. And, that deprivation will stay with the survivors for a very long time, even though it was not their fault, and they could not have done anything more than they had already done.

How to even look for a silver lining in the face of such grief? To say, "it could have been worse" could (quite rightly) be taken as crass insensitivity by those who are grieving.

But I have tried very hard to find the silver lining of being in lockdown. I am fortunate in being a natural introvert, so being at home, with just my husband, son and cat for company, has not been too much of a hardship. I think I would have found it harder to deal with if I had been living alone. As it is, I have had much more time to follow my hobbies: cross-stitch, crochet, writing and reading. My weekly piano lesson has been delivered via Face Time, and it has worked very satisfactorily.

Although I am still working, I am not travelling to do so, and that has opened up many free hours.

And the weather has been glorious. Again, I count myself so very fortunate to live in the countryside, able to walk around the fields, or up into the forest. And to watch Spring unfold before my wondering eyes. An annual miracle, which this year I have had the time to observe more closely. Another silver lining - I would not have taken so many walks, in the ordinary course of things.

I have noticed a change in the people we have met (at the safe 2 meter distance) on these walks. Everyone has greeted us, and people we know have stopped to chat. The amount of benevolent interest by neighbours seems to have gone through the roof. I have read many examples of this on Facebook, and our next door neighbour, who is a postman, and hence out every day, has offered to get us anything we need in between our own shopping expeditions. So kind.

I think the main silver lining for me has been that this has happened *now*, when there are so many different ways of keeping in touch - not only by phone or letter, but also by e-mail, Facebook, Face Time, Skype and Zoom.  I had never even heard of Zoom before the corona virus, but have now taken part in several Zoom meetings. And my colleagues and I have managed to keep in touch with our congregations / Districts by sharing online services in various formats and sending round news e-mails in between, and doing pastoral "visits" by phone. Of course it's not the same, could never be the same, as face-to-face, hug-to-hug, direct interaction with our loved ones and our beloved communities. But it has been something.

I am afraid that the long-term fall-out from the corona virus will be both difficult and complex to deal with. Not only the effect on people who have lost loved ones, although that of course is the worst, but also the number of jobs lost, companies closing down, will lead to great changes in our economy. Not to mention the emotional and psychological effects that being in lockdown, being isolated, has had on too many people.

And we will need all the kindness, all the compassion, that we have shown to each other during this time, to work together towards a better, more compassionate society. Rather than reverting to our old ways. Because the shocking truth is, that although humankind has suffered greatly during these weeks and months, the rest of creation has thriven. Seas and rivers are less polluted, the air is cleaner, and the knock-on effects of those benefits on the natural world has been widespread. We will need to build on this silver lining, "when it is all over", rather than going back to our old, polluting ways.

If you have found a silver lining in these weeks, please share them...

Learning vs Experience

"If you want to know something, ask an experienced person, not a scholar." This nugget of Chinese wisdom is something I have learned down the years.

In the first half of my life, I was a great believer in learning from books. And it served me well, for quite a long time. I finished school, got my degree in Librarianship, got married and settled down to live the rest of my life.

As time passed, I began to realise that there are so many things that you simply cannot learn from books, from staying in your head. So many things that can only be learned, or dealt with, overcome,  by hard-won experience, by living from a place of love and risk. Love. Vulnerability. Death. Generosity. None of these can be taught. They have to be experienced.

Book-learning is good, in that it gives you a theoretical grounding in whatever it is you are trying to learn, but it is not until you try to put that theory into practice that the learning "goes in". It is no accident that William Blake put Innocence and Experience at opposite poles. Until we have experienced something, all the book learning in the world will not help us. We will remain in a state of innocence (by which I mean unknowing) until our self-confident edges have been knocked off by some life experience.

Take counselling as an example. As part of my ministerial studies, I did a certificate in counselling skills. I read the recommended texts and thought I knew how to do it. But it was not until I and my fellow students started practising on each other, working in triads (one "counsellor", one "client", one observer) that I began to understand how the theory I had read about really worked. And the same thing happened in the three years of my spiritual direction training. The wise tutors at the London Centre for Spiritual Direction had it spot on - we spent the first half of each session on the topic of the week, and the second half on putting what we had learned into practice by "doing" spiritual direction on each other. Without all the practice I had undergone, I would not have had the confidence to hang out my spiritual director shingle.

And sometimes, I have read a book about a particular spiritual topic (Richard Rohr's Falling Upward comes to mind) and could not understand it at all, until I underwent life experiences which helped the meaning of the words fall into place in my heart.

Where the book learning can help, I think, is that the wisdom shared in books can support us through whatever experience we are having, so that we come out the other end wiser and stronger, kinder and more compassionate than we were before.

Dreams and Reality

This week's quotation comes from the author of The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint Eupery. "My dreams are more real than the moon, than the dunes, than everything around me."

It may be tempting, at the moment, to retreat to the world of dreams. Because in our dreams, the world is a happier place, with everyone living together in peace and amity. There is no illness, no poverty, no disease, no injustice. Which is why the lyric's of John Lennon's wonderful song, Imagine, still have so much power, all these years later.

Imagine...

But I believe that although it important to have dreams, to work towards such a world, it is more important to live in this one, and to accept the realities that we have been given.

A few months ago, a friend asked me this question: "What makes you come alive?" and I have been thinking about the answers ever since. For many of us, interaction with the natural world - walking by the sea, making a garden, walking a regular route and notice the day-to-day changes in the nature around us, being awed by natural beauty - play an important part in re-connecting us with the spiritual; with making us come alive. And so it is with me. To which I would also add, interacting with family, friends and fellow Unitarians - even if we can only do this virtually at present.

I am blessed that I live in a village surrounded by open countryside. When I go for a walk, it is wonderful to be out in the changing seasons - to see and savour and appreciate the blossom in spring (which is coming out all over at the moment), the mass of wildflowers in the summer, the first conkers in autumn and the elegant spareness of the trees in winter. This connectedness of the natural world is something that very often gets lost in Western society. We are so busy doing the job in hand, rushing to the next appointment, that we don't take enough time out to appreciate the world around us.

Maybe this time of enforced staying at home could be doing us a favour - forcing us to slow down, open our eyes, and appreciate the beautiful reality with which we are surrounded. Even if we live in a city, there is still the sky above us, and trees along our streets.

So yes, dreams are important, but give me reality any day!