Luminous Moments

"Moons and years pass and are gone forever, but a beautiful moment shines through our whole lives." This quote, by Franz Grillparzer, resonates withe me.

Like Archimedes in his bath, these 'Eureka' moments change how we see the world, how we understand it. We might be moving along in our life journey, placidly admiring the landscape, when suddenly, something presents itself to our senses and understanding and... our world has changed. How we live in it has changed. How we perceive it has changed.

And this may be a positive experience, or it may be a negative one, but it is never, ever neutral. Whatever it is, it matters to us sufficiently to change how we live and love and are in the world. These luminous moments come in all shapes and guises. They may come when we are out in nature, and suddenly appreciate its beauty and complexity like never before. Or they may come in conversation with others.

Most of my luminous moments, the moments that have changed my life, have come through reading the words of others.  I consider myself so blessed. Books have been my companions, my teachers, my inspiration, and my guides, as I have journeyed through life to where I am now. Few things give me greater delight than the discovery of a new book that makes me think; that makes me see the world and everything in it in a new light.

In his introduction to Mister God, This is Anna, Vernon Sproxton speaks of Ah! Books, "those which induce a fundamental change in the reader's consciousness. They widen his sensibility in such a way that he is able to look upon familiar things as though he is seeing and understanding them for the first time... Ah! Books give you sentences which you can roll around in the mind, throw in the air, catch tease out, analyse. But in whatever way you handle them, they widen your vision."

Where do you find your luminous moments? What experiences have changed your life?

Finding Your Own Place

The Greek philosopher Plato wrote, "There is a place that you have to fill that no-one else can fill, and there is something for you to do that no-one else can do."

By sheer, gorgeous serendipity, this fits in beautifully with the audio book I have been listening to this week, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. Its sub-title is 'Creative Living beyond Fear' and it is about exactly what Plato says. Finding your own creative place in the universe, and writing / painting / crafting / creating what you do, because it is yours to do.

When I first read it, I had not dipped my toe into the (to me) dangerous waters of fiction writing. I had written a memoir, Gems for the Journey, and was about to start doing the research for my book about Unitarianism in the UK, Unitarians: Together in Diversity.  And of course, I was writing an address each week, as part of my role as a minister. Which, although I did not realise it, was helping me to find my 'voice' as a writer.

So although I had no difficulty in seeing myself as a writer, the idea of writing fiction was a scary one. Where would I get the ideas? What if they stopped coming? What if the ideas were stupid? How could I dream up something original? How would I be able to hold a reader's attention?

Then I joined Northampton Writing Circle, a monthly group for local writers. We meet at the Quaker Meeting House, and are given a topic / theme to write a short story about, each month, by our Chairman. Then, the following month, we read our contributions aloud to each other, and receive the group's critiques. I had never attempted to write a short story before, but I thought, 'How difficult can it be?'

I had so much to learn...

At first, I found it very difficult to receive feedback about my stories. Any criticism (as I perceived it) left me feeling prickly and defensive. But I gradually realised that if I received it with an open and grateful heart, I would learn more, and slowly, very slowly, my writing has improved.

Reading Liz Gilbert's book was a real boost in this process. She shares her philosophy that being creative should be fun and stimulating and inspirational. That the idea of The Suffering Artist is a toxic one. If writing (or painting or whatever) gives you so much grief, why do it?! She taught me that writing can be a joyful process, something that would feed my heart and soul.

And so it has proved. After I had read Big Magic for the first time, I thought to myself, "Why not?" and started the long, slow, but infinitely rewarding process of writing my first novel. Which I managed to fit in alongside doing the research for my Unitarian book, and the day job, being a Unitarian minister. Then I revised it, and revised it again. Then, in fear and trembling, I asked the Writing Circle's Chairman, who is also a professional editor, to edit it for me.

Which was a whole 'nother learning process in itself. By the time he / we had finished with my MS, it was much tighter, better structured, and more readable. I began to hope that I might find a publisher. And I did! My novel will be coming out on 1st October this year.

But if I had listened to the gremlins, who were telling me that my writing was no good, that I could never write a fiction book, this would never have happened. I would never have found "my place", which no-one else can fill.

What place might you have to fill, that is yours alone?

Life seen through a sunbeam

"Joy is life seen through a sunbeam." This week's quote, by Carmen Sylva, set me thinking. What did it mean?

Did it mean that we have to wear rose-tinted spectacles, so that we don't see anything that disturbs our serenity? Because if so, I have to disagree... if we are to be fully human, we need to be awake to the injustices and pain of the world, the better to do something about them. Heaven only knows there are enough of them, just now. So much so, in fact, that when I saw that my "reading for the week" from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, was about pain, I was quite relieved. At least I would now have the opportunity to share what is on my mind and heart, in the hope that it would help others to wrestle with it too. And I have done so, here.

Or did it mean that joy is the underlying condition of our human lives, but that we cannot always see it? I blogged about that some time ago. Part of that blogpost read, "although our thoughts, moods and feelings may change from day to day, or even from moment to moment, there is a deep, peaceful, sky-blue awareness behind and above them, into which we can sink, if we just have the patience to sit in silence for a while, and let our passing emotions do just that - pass by."



Or did it mean a willingness to see the best in everything, and everybody? That human beings are not naturally depraved and corrupt. That our default state is to be kind, to co-operate with one another, to share our belongings and our lives.

I'm currently listening to an interesting new book, by Rutger Bregman, called Humankind: A Hopeful History. His thesis, so far as I understand it, is that our perceptions of humankind are skewed, because the news we watch, and scroll through on social media, always and only fixates on exceptional human behaviour, which is generally bad. War, murder, rape, genocide and so on. "Good news is no news" as the old saying goes. Whereas in reality, the majority of people are better than that, kinder than that, more caring than that. He demonstrates this with many examples. I haven't finished it yet, but it is fascinating, and I recommend it to anyone.

(image: e-bay)

One Step at a Time

Like many of us, I can become disheartened by the sheer volume of what I need / would like / feel I ought to do. So this week's quotation, by Saadi, gave me fresh heart. It reads, "It is not an art to conquer the world; if you can, conquer a heart."

It reminded me of another quotation, by (I think) the American Unitarian Universalist minister, Forrest Church, "Do what you can, where you are, with what you have."

In other words, we don't need to "conquer the world" right off the bat. Changes are made by individual people, doing what they can from where they are, day by day, using the skills that they have, and being open to change and growth.

I would guess that all of us can make a list of "things that are wrong with the world". They might include poverty, war, homelessness, exploitation of the planet, violence... the list is endless, and depressing. And overwhelming. What can we, individual little people, do about it all?

The answer, I believe, is in Saadi's quote, "if you can, conquer a heart." Use the mind, heart and abilities we have been given, to change *one* person's mind, to pick up *one* piece of litter, to choose to buy *one* eco-friendly bottle of washing liquid, to sign *one* petition, to attend *one* protest. Then, to further the washing metaphor, "rinse and repeat".

image by Bill Stilwell (Flickr)

This approach also applies to tasks which feel "too big". When faced with a serious and complicated task, it is human nature to procrastinate, to do that which is easiest, and to ignore that which is difficult and overwhelming.

I know this from my own experience. Each time I add a new piece of software to my PC, which I know will *ultimately* make my life easier, it is such a massive temptation to carry on using the same old, less-efficient software I know so well. Because the struggle to learn how to use a new piece of software efficiently daunts me.

This has happened this week. I've downloaded a free trial edition of Scrivener, the writing software, and spent last night going through the tutorial. I can see that once I've got to grips with it, it's going to make my novel so much more fun to write. BUT there are so many features with which I am unfamiliar, I am finding the prospect incredibly daunting. So... I'm going to take my own advice, order a copy of Scrivener for Dummies and give it a proper go. I am sure that once I've taken that first step, and actually engaged with the software, it will become easier and easier.

But the first step is the most difficult. Conquering one heart is the most difficult. The greatest amount of energy is used when we start moving. From still to first step takes more energy (certainly more emotional and spiritual energy) than the following steps. A sort of virtuous feedback loop is set up, and as we form a new habit, it becomes easier to maintain it.

And remember...

image: Flickr