Edges and Corners

This week's quote reads, "Celebrate your edges and corners. Diamonds aren't round either."

This is a call to celebrate human diversity, our own individuality, in a world where uniformity, following the crowd, fitting in, seems to be prized above almost anything else.  We live in an age where being different, or dissenting from the views of the majority, invites censure rather than praise, more often than not. 

Yet fitting in is not the same as true belonging. Brené Brown explains the difference beautifully in her book, The Gits of Imperfection. She writes, "When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our own worthiness - the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don't fit with who we think we're supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving. Our sense of worthiness - that critically important pieces that gives us access to love and belonging - lives inside of our story."

It takes courage to live authentically, with our edges and corners on show. The temptation to soften, blunt those edges and corners can be strong, as we strive to find a place in the world where we belong. Because being the odd one out, the one who doesn't "fit", hurts. It hurts a lot. People can be very cruel if our difference is on display. I know that in a small way from a childhood spent wearing patched glasses, and so a recipient of taunts in the playground. I was always chosen last for any games team, because my defective eyesight meant I "lost" the ball coming towards me. Many people have suffered, and continue to suffer, far worse than this, on account of their sexuality, the colour of their skin, their neurodivergence, to name but a few areas of "difference".

But like Brené says, "when we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don't fit with who we think we're supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness."

Yet human diversity is a gift, not a curse. Or it should be. Somewhere out there, there are people whose edges and corners fit with ours, who have come to terms with their own edges and corners.  When we find them, they allow the diamonds that we are to shine brightly.

A Burst of Courage

 This week's quote reads, "It's time for a burst of courage again."

Our world, it seems, is going to hell in a handbasket, to use a well-worn, but sadly accurate, cliché. Too many parts of the world are experiencing war and violence, with all their dreadful consequences, and wide swathes of the rest are subject to "natural" disasters (for many are climate-change induced, which isn't natural, not really) - floods, wildfires, hurricanes, and droughts, leading to widespread hardship. Not only for human beings, but for all living things. In many places, the people in power are persecuting those less powerful than themselves, with dreadful consequences.

So it's time for a burst of courage again. It's time to stand up for all the persecuted minorities, for our beleaguered planet. Time not to merely shake our heads sadly and turn the page or scroll on down. Time to get out and actually do something about it, however small. Because every little helps. Whether it is a letter to our MP, signing a petition, donating to a charity which helps to alleviate whatever the problem is. These are all easy things, which may be done from the comfort of our own home.

It is harder to make a sea-change in our own lives - to be like the Good Samaritan, to not "walk by on the other side." It takes courage and commitment to take part in a public protest; to resolve to shop ethically, rather than as cheaply as possible; to buy only what we need, rather than what the adverts seduce us into believing we need; to repair worn belongings rather than throwing them away; to go on a regular litter pick in our neighbourhood; to visit someone lonely; to have a smile and a friendly word for strangers; to volunteer at the local food bank or other local charity; to stand up for someone being bullied; and, most importantly, to treat every human being as though they were "unique, precious, a child of God" as the Quakers have it. Because they are, each and every one of them / us.

Wishing, Dreaming, Doing

This week's quote consists of three injunctions: "Wish it, dream it, do it!"

According to my trusty Concise Oxford Dictionary, each of those verbs has a different meaning, and could be described as steps along a road. To wish is to "have a desire or aspiration" or "want with the kind of desire that affects the result". To dream is to "have visions", "believe possible", "contemplate the possibility of." To do is to "perform, carry out, effect, complete, bring to pass."

So wishing for something is the first step. Our desire or aspiration may be simple, "I wish I could lose ten pounds" or  "I wish I could finish writing my novel" or complicated, "I wish I could do something about climate change."

The next step is dreaming, when our mind begins to ruminate about how we might achieve our wish, whatever it is. This is when we contemplate various possibilities - the research phase, if you like. We might investigate different diets, think about joining a gym or going for a daily walk, or consider how we might carve out some time each day to write. Or we might start to follow news stories about people and agencies who are working to combat climate change, and learn about how we might (in whatever way) make a difference.

The final step is doing, when we move from the theoretical to the practical - we give up sugar, do some exercise, set our alarm an hour earlier so that we have time to write before work. Or we might join a climate activist group, go on a demonstration, lobby our MP, make a commitment to use only eco-friendly products in our home, recycle more, repair things instead of throwing them away.

Most of us need to go through this three-step process before we actually commit to "doing", the most important of the three steps. Yet the first two, "wishing" and "dreaming" are also important, as without them, we might never get to the "doing" phase. And the fire they have lit in our souls may keep us going in hard times, when the diet has plateaued, we're suffering from writer's block, and our governments are still not taking climate change seriously. Very few people have the motivation to carry on trying their best, without wishes and dreams to bolster them.