The Confidence of Experience

This week's quotation is by Sylvia Plath, "Nothing broadens the horizon, gives you as much confidence, as experience."

No idea why the quote is illustrated by a photo of a whale's tail, but there we are... :)

And yes, I agree with her, up to a point. I can remember the very first time I led worship for Northampton Unitarians, in February 2001. I had spent weeks preparing the service, anxiously rehearsing every element of it, changing this, tweaking that... On the day, I was a bundle of nerves, my hands shaking so badly that I had to lay my papers down. Now, 19 years later (how did *that* happen?) I still take a good deal of trouble to put a service together, but I am no longer afraid. I have led worship so many times that I have confidence that I know how to do this. And mostly, it goes reasonably well.

That's not to say I am blasé about the process... far from it. I believe it is one of the most important things I do, as a minister. It is a huge privilege, which I am always conscious of, to share my mind and heart with a congregation...

So experience does broaden the horizon, does give me confidence.

BUT

At the same time, I believe it is important to face the world as though for the first time, to retain a sense of awe and wonder, at the glories of God's creation, at the wonderful complexities of the human heart, at the serendipitous work of grace in the world. And that happened to me this morning... I went upstairs at 7.00 am, to do my morning sit. And my breath was taken away by two views, one out of my West-facing window, one out of my South-east facing window. Here they are... the setting moon and the rising sun.

Had I come up ten minutes later, this beauty, so transient, would have been and gone. Such a gift, such a grace! I was astonished by the beauty, by the glory. And so grateful for the eyes to see, the heart to marvel. Because I am still open to wonder, still "innocent", if you like. Not bored, not cynical, not "meh, seen it all before". Because I think that sometimes, unless we are careful, too much experience (of a bad kind) can steal our sense of wonder, close us down to awe.

So yes, experience is good, experience is helpful. But innocence is so important too...