The Benefits of Smiling

 I once read somewhere that it takes only four muscles to smile, but 72 (I think I remember it correctly) to frown. Whether that is true or not, smiling is good for us. So I warmed to this week's quotation, an Indian proverb, "The smile you send out will return to you."

Because it really works. When I'm out for my daily constitutional, I always smile and say "hello" to anyone I pass. And even the most pre-occupied will acknowledge me, often with a smile of their own. Which makes the world a slightly more benevolent place, every time.

With so much crap going on in the world at the moment - wars, famine, poverty, discrimination, violence - not to mention the corona virus, our spirits need lightening, if we are to survive. And smiling (and being smiled at) helps enormously. Admittedly it is sad that we can't make closer physical contact with anyone outside our own personal bubble at the moment, but a smile can mean so much...

• I like you
• I love you
• Well done, congratulations
• I know how you feel
• You've got this
• You make me happy
• I care about you
• Life is good
• That's funny
• Namaste - that of the divine in me cherishes that of the divine in you

And a thousand other things. A true smile is never a negative conversation. So smile at someone (or someones) today... and cherish that smile back.

The Spectrum of Belief

 The French novelist, poet and dramatist Victor Hugo (most famous outside France for The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables) grew up Catholic. But in later years, according to Wikipedia, he "settled into a rationalist deism similar to that espoused by Voltaire. A census taker asked Hugo in 1872 if he was a Catholic, and he replied, "No. A Freethinker."

I would guess that this week's quotation came from the free thinking stage of his life: "To believe is difficult. To believe nothing is impossible."

Which sentiment I guess would be shared by many Unitarians, although not all.  We too are free thinkers, and proudly espouse freedom of belief as one of our three tenets. We call ourselves "A Faith without a Creed". Unitarians form a religious and spiritual community in which each person can explore what gives their life meaning and purpose. Each congregation, each society, and the movement nationally is a faith community made up of individuals on a spiritual journey who have come together because they share an open and inclusie attitude to religion and spirituality.

Unitarians affirm for each individual the right of private judgement in matters of religion and spirituality: no-one should be under any pressure to sign up to particular beliefs. In practice, many Unitarians do hold many beliefs in common; but this is not a prerequisite for being a member of the Unitarian community. Each Unitarian is free to treat new ideas, new beliefs, critically, and to take from them what speaks to their own reason and conscience, and what makes sense in the context of their own life experience, in order to live their life in the best and truest way they can. The sole proviso is that any belief that excludes, harms, or belittles another person or group will not be endorsed by a Unitarian community.

Unitarian beliefs change over time. Unlike most mainstream Christian denominations, Unitarians recognise that, as people have new experiences and encounter new ideas, their beliefs may change. The beliefs of most long-term Unitarians will evolve over the years, according to what they see and hear and learn and experience and take to heaert. We find this liberating. So Unitarianism is a continually evolving faith.

But I, personally, am with Victor Hugo, when he stated "To believe nothing is impossible." I think it is a deep instinct of human beings to seek purpose and meaning in their lives, and therefore come to believe in *something*. That something may be a personal deity, Nature, or humankind or any one or several of a thousand thousand philosophies. Even atheism is a form of belief - a belief that any form of supernatural being does not exist. 

Truly, "to believe nothing is impossible."

Information Overload

 I found this week's quotation, by Edgar Allan Poe, puzzling... "In forever knowing, we are forever blessed. But to know all, were the curse of a fiend."

Then I thought about it some more... Perhaps he means that when we use the knowledge we have for good and useful purposes, we are "forever blessed" but that if we take in everything we see, hear, and read uncritically, that would be "the curse of a fiend".

I know several friends who have taken holidays from social media this year, because they have found reading all the thousands of news items and stories, and worse, the comments below them, made them feel belligerent and depressed by turns. When we engage with posts that are spewing hatred and intolerance, or with whose views we disagree, root and branch, it can be difficult to remain objective, not to get sucked in.

I think that each of us needs to choose our battles carefully, to decide what matters to us, what we "forever know" and to defend those things against people with diametrically opposing views. The whole Black Lives Matter movement is a good example... when uninformed people ripost with "All Lives Matter" or with racist comments, it is easy to rest on our white fragility, our white silence, our white apathy, shrug our shoulders and scroll on down. Rather than engaging honestly and deeply with the conversation, explaining why the balance has been skewed for so long, and what we can do to ensure that black voices are heard, black people and others with non-white skin matter, and to help dismantle the system of white supremacy in which we were born and brought up. I have blogged about this recently. 

One of the key Unitarian tenets is the defence of freedom of belief. But not without limits. Espousing freedom of belief requires us to take a responsible attitude towards what we read and hear and see, and to discern critically what truth it has for us. So that if we see or hear or read untruth and misrepresentation and hatred, we can defend the belief or people being attacked. We are limited human beings, so it is not possible for us to "know all". But I believe it is possible to choose to inform ourselves as much as we can about subjects which are consonant with our values, and be prepared to engage with others in meaningful discussion about them.

And not be scared of being perceived as traitors to our class, our families, our people, if that is what it takes. It is as simple and difficult as that.

Bring Me Sunshine

"Whoever banishes friendship from life, removes the sun from the world." These words, by Cicero, made me think of the song which Morecambe and Wise used to finish their shows with (apologies for the ear worm):

"Bring me sunshine, in your smile,

Bring me laughter, all the while.

In this world where we live

there should be more happiness

so much joy you can give

to each brand new bright tomorrow.

Make me happy, through the years

Never bring me, any tears

Let your arms be as warm

as the sun from up above.

Bring me fun, bring me sunshine

Bring me love."

And yes, friendship does bring much-needed sunshine into our lives. All of us will have times when we feel down, and wonder why we bother to get up in the morning, as there seems to be nothing to look forward to, nothing worth fighting for.

At times such as these, friends are vital. If we can share our troubles with someone who loves us "just the way we are", the chances are that we will be able to get over the bad patch and realise that yes, life is worth living, and that yes, we do have the courage to face whatever comes our way. Such friendship is beyond price - it can make the difference between surviving and living, between hurt and wholeness. It involves compassion and love and, practiced purely, it is one of the most healing influences in the world. It may not involve laying down our lives for someone else, but it means putting that person's happiness before our own, because we cannot truly be happy if they are sad.

Anais Nin once wrote, "Each friend represnets a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that the new world is born."

Spirit of Life and Love,

All of us have friends,

all of us are friends.

May we understand the huge importance

of these connections in our lives.

May we appreciate our friends:

their kindness, their loyalty,

their ongoing, unchanging love for us,

warts and all.

And may we be such friends - 

not falling away when the going gets rough,

but always there for each other,

steadfast in our love,

ready to celebrate each other's joys,

empathise with each other's concerns,

and treating one another

as we would like to be treated ourselves,

knowing that the ripples of our compassion

will flow out into the world,

making it a happier, gentler place.

Amen