Last Sunday, I came into contact with someone who has now tested positive for the coronavirus. Without thinking, I did a very stupid thing, because I was so pleased to see them - I gave them a brief, sideways, facing away hug. So now I am self-isolating in my own house, trying to keep away from my son and my husband, until next Wednesday. I have ordered a home-testing kit, which came too late yesterday to be done, so I'll be sending it off today.
I have been kicking myself for my idiotic impulsive gesture, but what is the point? I did what I did, and now I may have to pay for it. I don't so much mind for myself, but I am praying with every fibre of my heart that if I do get this horrible virus, I won't pass it on to my two loved ones. Particularly not to my husband, who is diabetic.
Sometimes, we all do things which we later regret. "If only" are probably the two saddest words in the English language. "If only I had..." "If only I hadn't..." But "if only" always comes too late. I guess the only thing we can do is to try to live and act in such a way that we don't end up in the "if only" situation.
Except that, we always, always will. Sometimes it is unavoidable (unlike my mistake). Sometimes, someone we love moves away, leaves us, and we are left with a whole crop of "if onlys" to live with. We will regret all the wasted opportunities to be kinder, all the times we were unkind.
I guess that what I'm saying is, this has taught me a lesson. To be as kind as I can, in my interactions with other people, with other living beings, so that my crop of regrets will be as small as possible.
As my friend Celia writes each day, "stay safe and well."
Lesley, using her husband Jeremy's account. Well one always has to remember that if one had not made Mistake A one would have been free to make Mistake B. And it was a fleeting sideways non facing hug. All the best Sue. I am sure you will pull through fine. Lesley
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