Finding Enough

 The American poet, Walt Whitman, once wrote, "I have realised that being with the people you love is enough."

Perhaps this is self-evident. In which case, why do so many of us spend so much of our time and effort chasing after rainbows? More money, more food, more social media, more everything. We seem to find contentment, which is another way of saying "the consciousness of having enough", very difficult to discover.

But with Whitman, I believe that "being with the people you love" is enough. If we are lucky, there will be a place we can call "home", a place where we know we belong. But it need not be a physical space. For me, the word "home" signifies the company of loved others, in front of whom and with whom I can be myself - rather than a particular building made of bricks and mortar. It's more about feeling "at home", at peace, seen and heard for who we truly are.

Whereas "home" in the purely physical sense of "the place where you live" can be very far from a real home. There are far too many dysfunctional families for that. And the scars of childhood (wheter physical, mental, psychological or spiritual) are far too frequently felt by far too many people for me to believe that "home" means "the environment in which you were brought up" or "the environment you live in."

One of my favourite books by Celtic poet and theologian John O'Donohue is Eternal Echoes: Exploring our hunger to belong. In it, he writes about what I believe is the true sense of "home" - a place where we belong. He has much to say about longing and belonging and about "home" as a place of sanctuary and belonging, where we feel safe and can grow into our best selves. He wrote, "The word home has a wonderful resonance. Home is where you belong. It is your shelter and place of rest, the place where you can be yourself."

I believe that everyone needs solid roots (a safe and happy home, a loving family and/or friends, and a solid moral and ethical grounding) if they are to grow into wise, virtuous human beings. If one or more of those elements is missing, it will be that much harder for the person to grow up grounded and able to nurture others in their turn. Of course, it is far from impossible. Many people overcome all kinds of deprivation and cruelty and thrive in spite of them, but I do believe that those fortunate enough to grow up with solid roots will, perhaps paradoxically, find it easier to step out on their own as grounded adults.