The Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl, once wrote, "Man does not simply exist, but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at every instant."
Which I find profoundly reassuring, yet also challenging. Reassuring, in that it means each of us has the power to choose how we react to the situations we find ourselves in; challenging, in that it is often so difficult to rise above hurt feelings and hurt ego and let things go.
Because the only thing we are truly in control of is how we respond to experiences and other people. We cannot change how other people act (although we can try to influence them) nor can we often change the circumstances we find ourselves in. Yet inside our heads, we have complete freedom. We can choose how we will respond. Refuse to allow our internal buttons to be pushed.
It takes a large amount of self-awareness in the moment, to become cognisant that our buttons are being pushed, and not react in our customary negative ways. It can take a lot of self-restraint not to lash out, to hurt the other person as we have been hurt by them. Yet ultimately, it is a much happier, more peaceful way to live.
It also means we have the freedom to choose a different path, to choose to stand up against what we perceive to be wrong, to stand by our principles. In other words, it's a fine balancing act. It is a more challenging way of living. But so worthwhile.
Imagine how different our world would be, if all the leaders paused to think, "Are my buttons being pushed here? How should I respond to this?" rather than going off pop and charging out with violence...
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