Being True to Yourself

This week's quotation is by Bettina von Armin: "Find yourself, be true to yourself, learn to understand yourself, follow your voice, only then can you reach the highest."

One of the most useful tools for achieving this goal is the Enneagram. Or at least, that is what I believe. I and the other ministry students at Harris Manchester College Oxford were given a half-day workshop on the Enneagram during our training, and it changed my life.

I have blogged about this before,  and also here. But it is as true then, as it was when I wrote those posts, in 2011 and 2013.

I believe that it is only when we truly know ourselves and learn to love ourselves, flaws, warts and all, that we can be our best selves, and "reach the highest". And it is only when we are true to ourselves and are at peace with who we are, that we can reach out to others, knowing that they too are "unique, precious, children of God" (as the Quakers say).

Because every single person ever born has "that of God" in them, and is worthy of love and respect. So easy to write or say, so damned hard to do.

But at least it can be a gold standard, to which we can aspire. So that every time we meet a new person, we do not judge them by what we see on the surface, but take the trouble to get to know them properly. So that the divine spark in us can reach out to the divine spark in them. We are all human and imperfect, and all need the love and support of others to make our way in the world.

I love the words of Sunshine Jeremiah Wolfe, which I used in a service recently: "We gather in faith in ourselves and those around us. Not a faith that requires perfection or rightness in one another. Rather a faith that in our shared imperfection we may learn to stumble and fall together. Faith that we will help one another to rise and to try again and again."

The Hero[ine]'s Journey

Some of you will know that I love to write. I've had three non-fiction books published, and my first novel has been accepted for publication.  I spend a lot of my spare time either writing, or reading and learning about how other people write.

My son is also a writer and we have a shared interest in fantasy as a genre. I adore reading fantasy, and would love to try my hand at writing one, one day. My son has recently introduced me to a series of lectures on You Tube by fantasy writer, Brandon Sanderson, and I'm finding them fascinating.

He has an entertaining lecture style and I've learned heaps from him, about worldbuilding and how to create a convincing magical system. Yesterday evening, I was watching his podcast about characterisation, and one of the things that came up was the hero's journey. This is a trope made famous by Joseph Campbell, and is a plot outline much loved by fantasy writers: Ordinary person is taken from his ordinary life by a wise mentor, goes on a great quest with some companions to achieve / find something, undergoing various ordeals and tests on the way, then comes back home, somewhat changed.

This week's quotation, by George Moore, really reminded me of this: "Man travels the world in search of what he lacks. And he returns home, to find it."

I believe that we don't actually need to undertake a physical journey, to be changed in this way. I think that the spiritual journey has much in common with this hero's journey. A person is dissatisfied with their everyday life, realising that something is lacking, and starts to explore new ways of being in the world. They meet a wise mentor (in my case, the Unitarian minister, Rev Hilton Birtles) read some wise books, talk with people a lot, and along the way, are changed. They then come home to themselves and the divine, and realise that the sacred was there in their lives all the time.

Standing up for a Cause

I found this week's quotation, by Mahatma Gandhi, interesting: "Strength does not grow from physical force (effort) - rather from indomitable will."

And I guess he was talking about the power of non-violent resistance. In the case of India, the indomitable will of Gandhi's people was pitched against the power and might of the British Empire. And yet, the Indian people prevailed.

Today, the Extinction Rebellion movement is using similar tactics, to save our world from being destroyed by human exploitation and greed. The current issue of our Unitarian journal, The Inquirer, Holland Morrell of Doncaster Unitarians shared her experience of joining the XR protests one day last month:

"Once I got past the police, it was actually incredibly peaceful. There was singing, chanting, speeches, friendships being forged, and hot food freely available. There was an atmosphere of quiet passion and reverence for the Earth. It felt similar to stepping into a place of worship - the same sense of inner stillness, awe, wisdom, peace, and fellowship."

The centre spread of the issue has the headline 'Unitarians on the front line', in which four more Unitarians shared their experience of joining the XR protests in London. Elizabeth Harley, a ministry student from Bridport, wrote:

"The reason we travelled [to London] is simple: the destructive effects of corporate greed on our planet is present tense. Displaced people are suffering right now, and it will get worse. We need to think and act globally with a green conscience, a kind heart. Until we are all safe, we all suffer. This is a religious imperative for me, I am joining in with what we have got - and that is the imperfect but growing and impressively resilient Extinction Rebellion."

If enough people have the indomitable will to prevail, change will come. We need to stand up and be counted.

Allowing for Growth

Today is a special day for me... forty years ago yesterday, my husband and I started dating. And twenty-five years ago today, my darling daughter was born.

So this week's quotation, by George Bernard Shaw, has resonated with me. "The sage lets flowers stand, without picking them."

Because the best things in life take time to come to perfection, and may only do so in the soil in which their seeds were nurtured. My husband and I have grown together, from young people in our early twenties to our present eminence (!) And I have watched my daughter grow and blossom into a wonderful young adult, whom we love and who loves us and her brother.

In both cases, the relationship has taken time and care and nurturing. And leaving alone to do its own thing. Which has not been easy, on occasion. Especially in the case of parenting. There have been times in both our children's lives when I have been seriously tempted to meddle, to intervene, even to "make it all better".

Sometimes, it is the hardest thing in the world to stand back, and let people you love go their own way, and learn from their experiences. Knowing that if you don't, they won't grow into their proper selves. I've been so very lucky, that both my children have grown up into loving, caring, functional adults.

I am grateful to Libby Purves, for some words I read when my son was very small: "Children have to be fed, clothed against the elements, conversed with a great deal, protected from evildoers and poisons, and given the chance to play and read and observe the adult world. They have to be educated, to take in the knowledge and wisdom their society has developed, and encouraged to take it further as they grow up. They have to be loved and valued, and allowed to bestow their own love on family and friends."

This struck a deep chord with me, and I have tried to follow it, for the past nearly-thirty years. And it has borne wonderful fruit. She also wrote, "to weigh a theoretical danger against an overwhelming love is the hardest thing in the world."

Yes. Letting the flowers alone, so that they can grow into their own perfection, is the best way. As Kahil Gibran wisely advised, "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself... You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth."

So today, I am happy... I am blessed.

Taking the Longer View

As the calendar moves relentlessly towards the end of October, with all its attendant Brexit uncertainties, I was reassured by this week's quotation, by Jean Paul: "Das Meer der Zeit ist nur eine Woge auf dem Meere der Ewigkeit." Which being translated, means, "The sea of time is but a wave on the sea of eternity."

The image, of the boat at dusk, peacefully waiting for the sun to set, is a restful one. And these past weeks have been anything but restful... I'm nearly sixty now, and have never known the country to be so stirred up about anything. Brexit has divided families, communities and the country. Every day, there is more news, often conflicting with the news of the day before. I have friends who are British citizens living in the EU, and they are in a desperate state of anxiety and uncertainty, unsure what the implications will be, but certain that it will not be good news. One friend has emigrated to Canada, another to Sweden, to escape it all. And others have acquired Irish or Polish passports, so that their links with the EU may not be broken.

This blog is not political, so I will leave it there. Except to pray that politicians might raise their heads for a moment and consider not the next day, or the next week, but think longer term, for the greater good of the country. Whatever happens on 31st October, many people are going to be unhappy, and it is difficult to see a way forward.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is the the human spirit is very good at surviving even the worst things that life can throw at it. Whatever happens, we will get through it somehow. It remains to be seen what the consequences of leaving the EU will be, if we do leave, but I pray for ordinary people, people like us, that our lives will not be made worse, not disrupted, whatever happens. And that we might fix our eyes on the sea of eternity, and regain some kind of perspective.

Small Pleasures

This week's quotation is by Johannes Kepler, a 17th century German astronomer and mathematician, whose books on planetary motion and other astronomical matters I catalogued when I was on my placement year at the Royal Greenwich Observatory, then at Herstmonceux Castle in East Sussex. He had an influence on many of his peers and successors, including Isaac Newton.

(portrait Wikimedia commons.org)

He wrote, "Hundert kleine Freuden sind tausendmal mehr wert als eine Grosse." Which being translated, means, "A hundred little joys are worth a thousand times more than one big one."

And I believe he's right. If we are awake and aware enough to notice the small pleasures of every day, our underlying happiness will surely be greater than if we are only lifted out of our doldrums by one big happy event.

There used to be a blog called 'Three Beautiful Things', now sadly defunct, in which the author posted daily about three things which had attracted her attention as 'beautiful'. I used to read it daily, and gained an appreciation of the practice of searching for small, everyday pleasures which would lift my spirits.

Today, for example, I have asked a friend a favour, and she has responded positively and enthusiastically. And I'm going to get round to clearing the desk in my study, which has been cluttered and distracting for too long. This afternoon, I intend to spend crocheting a baby blanket, which is turning out really well so far.

Three small pleasures, all in one day. Why not give it a try? If it worked for Kepler, and it works for me, maybe it will work for you...

Working Together

Last week's quotation, by Friedensreich Hundertwasser, could not be more apposite: "Wenn einer allein traümt, ist es nur ein Traum. Wenn viele gemeinsam traümen, ist das der Anfang einer neuer Wirklichkeit."

Which being translated, means: "When one dreams alone, it is only a dream. When many dream together, it is the beginning of a new reality."

And this week, millions of protesters are gathering to support the Extinction Rebellion movement. So many people have been galvanised into action by the grim realisation that our planet is under threat. That our lives, and the lives of all living creatures and plants, are under threat. That it is almost too late to do anything about it. But that nevertheless, the effort has to be made.

Many Unitarians will be spending at least part of this week down in London to join the protests. I am so glad that we are a part of this, because we only have one planet. They are seeking to help people to understand that there are better ways to live, based on a lifestyle which Unitarian author John Naish calls "enoughness". 

Because at the moment we are a society of consumers, with our heads buried firmly in the sand. Natural resources such as gas and oil are running out and the biodiversity on which our planet depends for its health is at risk from the activities of humankind.

Extinction Rebellion has published a book called This is Not A Drill. In it, the authors write: "This is a crisis that requires radical system change on a scale never seen before."  They write: "The challenge we now face is extremely daunting. Because the problem, unfortunately, is not just the climate. The problem is ecology. The problem is the environment. The problem is biodiversity. The problem is capitalism. The problem is colonialsim. The problem is power. The problem is inequality. The problem is greed, and corruption, and money, and this tired, broken system. The problem is our complete and utter failure to imagine any meaningful alternative."

The book has some wonderful suggestions for ways in which every person can join the rebellion, by choosing sustainability over consumerism, by campaigning to *make* governments and industry understand what is at stake. 

This could be our last chance... let's work together to make it happen.