The Difference between Loneliness and Solitude

The different German to English translation engines had trouble with this week's quotation, from Wilhelm von Humboldt: "Die wenigsten Menschen verstehen, wie unendlich viel in der Einsamkeit liegt."

Some talked about "infinite loneliness" which I thought missed the point. My favourite translation is: "Very few people understand how infinitely much there is (can be found) in solitude."

Because there is a huge difference between feeling lonely and being alone. The first is a negative emotion, in which the person feels incomplete without the company of others. The second is a simple statement of fact. Being alone can be a time of rich contemplation, or of simple enjoyment of one's own company, or a welcome retreat from the hurly-burly of life.

I used to be afraid of loneliness and found the company of people infinitely preferable. As I have got older, and farther on in my spiritual journey, I find that I welcome solitude, as a time to think, to reflect, to spend time in my own company, to come near to the Divine. And if I spend too much time in the company of too many people, I need a lot of time alone to come back to myself.

True extroverts will find this hard to understand, but introverts and ambiverts will be reading with little cries of recognition. I'm not saying "I want to be alone" a la Garbo, but that I need some kind of balance between being with people and being on my own.

Of course, I do like being with people (I'm a minister, after all!) and being in Unitarian community is an important part of my life. But the time when I am on my own is when I do my best thinking, when I can read for hours without feeling guilty, when I can meditate, pray, write. I find I am at my best alone, or in the company of one or two dear friends or family members.