Wisdom from Missed Opportunities

I had not previously heard of Henriette Wilhelmine Hanke, the Silesian author of this week's quotation. But according to Wikipedia, she was considered to be "one of the most successful authors of the first half of the 19th century," (at least in Germany). She had an unhappy marriage to a much older man and is best known for her "didactic" works, "where one can find much of the sentimental enthusiasm of popular romanticism. It was always about being there as a comforter and counselor for other lonely women after her own unhappy marriage, giving them the feeling of comforting togetherness by reading her novels and short stories."

Which made the quotation chosen by Harenberg Kalender more poignant, "Missed opportunities never come back. But they teach us to be aware of new ones." It made me wonder what opportunities she had missed, what regrets she had, about becoming the third wife of an elderly pastor at the early age of 20, and having to spend her prime looking after his six children. And to think about what opportunities I might have missed, and what they have taught me...

The only one I could think of was that I had always planned to spend a year after graduation working at the hotel of a friend of my father in Seefeld, Austria, to become fluent in German. But then I became engaged, and the slump of the early 1980s happened, and it felt more important to get a good job and settle down. So I never made it, and my German remains very much sub-fluent. I can understand far more than I can speak, but I would love to have been fluent.

Since then, I have always tried to jump in the direction of new opportunities, saying "yes" to life, rather than "No, I can't, I'm scared, what if I fail?" I would far rather try something new, something different and not succeed, than rest on my (very few) laurels and not LIVE.

I love the Quaker Advice, which I first came across in my late twenties, "Live adventurously. When choices arise, do you take the way that offers the fullest opportunity for the use of your gifts in the service of God and the community? Let your life speak." 

And I have rarely regretted following it, even if it does sometimes make me feel vulnerable. I would far rather dare and fail, than not dare at all. But I also need to bear in mind another Quaker advice, as time passes: 

"Every stage of our lives offers fresh opportunities. Responding to divine guidance, try to discern the right time to undertake or relinquish responsibilities without undue pride or guilt. Attend to what love requires of you, which may not be great business."

I think I will find "relinquishing" more difficult than "undertaking." May I have the grace to do so, when the time comes.