Fleeing from the Past

 The twentieth century poet and playwright T.S. Eliot wrote, "Those who flee from their past always lose the race."

Hmm. I think it depends on the reason for the flight. For example, if someone flees from an abusive relationship, they are winning the race to start a new and better life. 

But maybe he is talking about our natural reluctance to confront our shadows - those inner parts of us which were formed earlier in our lives and which we hide away deep inside us and hide away from dealing with. I've written about this before: "When we ignore the shadows in our lives, we are not living authentically. Because all of us have shadows - the things in our lives we do not want to face up to, the parts of our personality we are in denial about. Dealing with these aspects of our lives is called shadow work, and I have blogged about it here. I do believe that it is only when we go deep that we can understand ourselves fully. Doing this necessary shadow work can be very painful, but it is necessary, if we are to grow into our best selves, our whole selves. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows or walking through beautiful woodland. It is by learning from the shadows, from the sad or painful things that have happened to us, that we grow."

I can remember when I first signed up for spiritual direction and my director asked me about my childhood. I responded by telling her it had been idyllically happy, which she immediately queried. And made me look inside myself for the first time and remember some things I had shoved down so far I had forgotten they were there. Which was the beginning of my own race towards living an authentic life, with all of me, shadows and all.

But I do believe we have to be well-supported on this journey. If we try to confront our demons on our own, we may end up losing the race anyway, through depression or despair. Loving and empathic support is needed to do this work. Each of us needs a friend or mentor who will hold us lovingly as we deal with the past of our lives. Someone who will listen without judging, someone who loves us unconditionally, warts and all. 

May we all have the capacity to be such friends, each to one another.