I only
bought Cal Newport’s book, Digital Minimalism, on a whim, because it was
on offer as a Kindle daily deal for 99p. But I have found it to be a
fascinating and challenging read, which has caused me to reflect seriously
about how much time I spend mindlessly browsing on my smartphone – usually
either on Facebook or Pinterest – or playing time-consuming games like Match
3D. In fact, I would guess that the total time I spend on social media or
playing games is not far short of the ten hours a week Newport mentioned as a typical time spent feeding a Twitter habit. Which has shocked me. I agree with him that “this cost is almost certainly
way too high for the limited benefit it returns.”
Although
I am not of the generation which grew up with smartphones (those born in the
nineties and later) I, like many people of my age, have embraced the
possibilities that a smartphone offers – the ability to stay in contact with
Unitarians all over the country on Facebook, for example, or to discover
wonderful new crochet patterns on Pinterest. And the ability to text my family
and close friends to stay in touch when I am out and about is very useful (it
would have been marvellous in the days when my husband was delayed on his
evening commute from London and I was at home, wondering when he would get
back). And I find the alarm and timer and weather forecast functions very
useful. And have three prayer or meditation apps, which I use during my morning
sit (not all three!)
My phone and I are not inseparable… when I am out walking, I only pull it out of my pocket to take a photo of something beautiful, that fills me with wonder. And it spends quite a bit of time sitting silently in my handbag. Unlike some people, who seem to have their phones in their hands all the time and seem to prioritise connecting with the digital world almost more than connecting with the people they are with. It always makes me sad when I see people allegedly out for a meal together, who spend more time texting absent friends or scrolling through news feeds than in talking with their dinner partner. Or someone walking with a child, who is trying to engage their attention, but they are too busy looking at their phone to notice. Yet who am I to judge? If I had grown up with a smartphone, as the younger generation has, I would quite possibly have done the same.
Newport’s book has made me uneasily conscious that my relationship with my smartphone is not an entirely healthy one. It is not simply my servant, enabling me to do things I could not otherwise have done, like letting my husband know I’ve arrived somewhere, or staying in touch with my adult children. Slowly, insidiously, my phone has become my go-to method of filling odd moments of time. I find myself checking Facebook or scrolling through Pinterest in the evenings, when Maz and I are watching something together on TV. Digital Minimalism has made me conscious of this, has made me ask why I’m doing it.
Reading the book has made me understand that I am not living in consonance with my values. I have allowed the ever-present “convenience” of my smartphone to distract me from being fully present to those I am in the same room with. It has made me appreciate that I have been allowing it to invade my life and to hijack time when I should enjoy space and silence and being in community with my loved ones.
So it
is time for me to do a re-set. I have deleted some apps from my phone and
silenced all notifications except phone calls and texts. I have announced on
Facebook that I will only be checking it once a day, for ten minutes, and have
asked that anyone who needs to get in touch more urgently to ring me, e-mail me
or text me. Because I want to live my life well, to be completely present to my
family, my friends and what I am experiencing in the present moment, to make
sure that each of my todays is “well lived”. I have decided to relegate my
phone to a back seat, and only bring it out when using it adds some real value
to my life.
What might “living today well” look like for you?
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