The Power of Dreams and of the Mind

 A lovely inspirational quote this week, by Wilma Rudolph: "Never underestimate the power of dreams and the power of the mind. The potential for greatness lives in all of us."

I have blogged a couple of times on here about the power of dreams, here and here. So today I'd like to think about the power of the mind... 

Last weekend, my grown-up daughter contacted me to tell me about a new diary / journal she had bought herself, The 6-Minute Diary. And it sounded so good that I looked it up and treated myself to one.

The idea is that you spend three minutes each morning, filling in the first half of the page, and another three minutes in the evening, reflecting on the day just over. The idea behind it is to encourage positive thinking and hence enhance happiness.

It's a fascinating book. The first sixty plus pages explain how it all works, and then there is a page for each day, plus an introductory page for each week, where there are five different questions to answer and a habit tracker. And it's beautifully designed, complete with two bookmarks - one to keep in the beginning-of-the-week page, the other for the current day.

There are six daily prompts:

For the morning, 1 I'm grateful for... (and 1,2,3)

                            2 This is how I'll make today great (five lines of free writing)

                            3 Positive affirmation (you can either change these each day or focus on one particular

                               goal.

For the evening, 1 My good deed today

                           2 How I'll improve

                           3 Great things I experienced today (and 1,2,3)

I started doing it on Tuesday and I'm loving it. Interestingly, the one that has me chewing on the end of my biro for inspiration is 'My good deed today' - they say it can be something small and insignificant, but it's been hard to rack my brains and remember a specific small act of kindness. 

It's going to be fun reading back over all the entries when it's full (they give you six months' worth of pages in each diary). And I hope it will make me remember all the little things I am grateful for, and help me to establish some good habits.

The Difference between Choosing Isolation and Being Forced Into It

 The words of Seneca, the Roman philosopher who lived in the first century CE, really resonate with me. He wrote, "You have to combine and alternate times of solitude and times of sociability. The one awakens in us a longing for people, the other a longing for ourselves" (or, I guess, our own company).

I have found that as I have got older, I have embraced solitude more and more. I blogged about it last year, here. I think I am a true ambivert, which the Google Dictionary defines as, "a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality."

And yet, there is a huge difference between choosing to spend time alone, and being forced to, as many people have learned this year. I probably only left the village once a week, during the first months of this coronavirus crisis, to do the weekly food shop. But, here's the thing - I could have done, if I had wanted to. I am not in an at-risk category, so was not compelled to self-isolate for weeks and months at a time, which has been the fate of many. And in recent weeks, I have even started to lead worship in person again, for a few brave congregations.

Most people have a very natural contrarian streak in them: if they are told they MUST NOT do something, that something becomes even more attractive. Older family members and friends, who truly are vulnerable, have, by and large, shrugged their shoulders and accepted the inevitable. I was so very glad when the concept of 'bubbles' was floated and it became possible to visit my parents once more. But even there, I keep my distance, and keep my visits rare and short. And I have not been able to do any in-person pastoral visits since March. Phoning people is good, but it's not the same.

But I have really missed the possibility of gathering in Unitarian community, at our General Assembly meetings, at Great Hucklow, at Summer School. Virtual meetings just aren't the same. And I do wonder what it will be like next year (?) when we are once more able to meet in person... because I'm guessing it won't be the same. I will be worrying about things I took so much for granted: can I hug people? will it be safe for more vulnerable people to spend so much time in close physical proximity to others? I'm sad to say that I think we are only touching the edges of what we have lost.

The impact of enforced self-isolation has been enormous, particularly in terms of mental health. Which is why it has been so important to reach out to our friends, our community, in new ways. I would guess that at the beginning of this year, hardly anyone of my acquaintance had heard of Zoom, let alone used it. But now we meet for worship, for coffee, for business meetings, just to talk, all the time, using this wonderful software programme.

And it has enabled Unitarians all over the country to keep in touch with each other, to sample each others' worship services, in a way that would have seemed... unbelievable, a few months ago.

I pray that we will continue to find ways to keep in touch with each other, to help those who are forced to self-isolate, to keep their sanity.

A Love of Mystery

The Unitarian and Transcendentalist writer, Ralph Waldo Emerson, wrote, "I prefer to live in a world surrounded by mysteries, rather than in one so small, that my mind can comprehend it."

 And one of my best-loved non-fiction authors, Brené Brown, wrote in my favourite book of hers, The Gifts of Imperfection, that she initially believed that "faith meant 'there's a reason for everything'" Then she discovered that "faith meant something else to [the men and women living the Wholehearted journey]." Which led her to redefine faith, based on the responses she was hearing from them, "Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty."

I believe that our lives are richer if we can find that courage, and love the mystery, the sacred not-knowing of life. Theologican Frederick Buechner wrote, "Faith is better understood as a verb rather than as a noun, as a process rather than a possession. It is on-again-off-again, rather than once-and-for-all. Faith is about not being sure where you're going, but going anyway. And theologian Paul Tillich wrote, "Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith."

Unitarians have a great capacity for mystery, for "living in the questions", as Rainer Maria Rilke put it. For example, we can never prove that God exists (or doesn't exist). But we can have faith that He (or She or It) does. And live our lives as though we believed it. Which I think is what Emerson meant when he said he preferred to "live in a world surrounded by mysteries." 

Unitarian faith often includes a healthy dollop of doubt - not taking anything for graned, not accepting anything without questioning it first. We have always been in the habit of questioning beliefs and cherishing doubts. I would guess that many of us came to Unitarianism precisely by that path - by starting to question some of the beliefs we grew up with. In my case, I realised that I could not accept the divinity of Jesus as the unique Son of God, and also struggled with the idea that his death on the cross somehow put me back into right relationship with God. But to quote Jan Carlsson-Bull, Unitarians have learned to "hold faith and doubt in reverent balance". 

Which means actively searching for and working out what gives your life meaning, putting your whole heart and mind and soul into it, and yet at the same time, totally respecting the right of every other member of your Unitarian community to disagree with you. It can be a tough call, sometimes.

Holding faith and doubt in reverent balance, living and loving in mystery, also means being open to new ideas, from wherever they come. Unitarianism at its best is a wonderfully open way of approaching life and religion, based on an appeal to reason, conscience and our own lived experience. It is an ongoing process - you don't just experience a one-off conversion and then rest on those fixed beliefs for the rest of your life; every Unitarian has a duty to approach all new ideas and concepts reverently and critically, and take from them what speaks to our own reason and conscience, and what makes sense in the context of our own lived experience, in order to live out our lives in the best and truest way we can, making room for mystery, for uncertainty, along the way

The Benefits of Smiling

 I once read somewhere that it takes only four muscles to smile, but 72 (I think I remember it correctly) to frown. Whether that is true or not, smiling is good for us. So I warmed to this week's quotation, an Indian proverb, "The smile you send out will return to you."

Because it really works. When I'm out for my daily constitutional, I always smile and say "hello" to anyone I pass. And even the most pre-occupied will acknowledge me, often with a smile of their own. Which makes the world a slightly more benevolent place, every time.

With so much crap going on in the world at the moment - wars, famine, poverty, discrimination, violence - not to mention the corona virus, our spirits need lightening, if we are to survive. And smiling (and being smiled at) helps enormously. Admittedly it is sad that we can't make closer physical contact with anyone outside our own personal bubble at the moment, but a smile can mean so much...

• I like you
• I love you
• Well done, congratulations
• I know how you feel
• You've got this
• You make me happy
• I care about you
• Life is good
• That's funny
• Namaste - that of the divine in me cherishes that of the divine in you

And a thousand other things. A true smile is never a negative conversation. So smile at someone (or someones) today... and cherish that smile back.

The Spectrum of Belief

 The French novelist, poet and dramatist Victor Hugo (most famous outside France for The Hunchback of Notre Dame and Les Miserables) grew up Catholic. But in later years, according to Wikipedia, he "settled into a rationalist deism similar to that espoused by Voltaire. A census taker asked Hugo in 1872 if he was a Catholic, and he replied, "No. A Freethinker."

I would guess that this week's quotation came from the free thinking stage of his life: "To believe is difficult. To believe nothing is impossible."

Which sentiment I guess would be shared by many Unitarians, although not all.  We too are free thinkers, and proudly espouse freedom of belief as one of our three tenets. We call ourselves "A Faith without a Creed". Unitarians form a religious and spiritual community in which each person can explore what gives their life meaning and purpose. Each congregation, each society, and the movement nationally is a faith community made up of individuals on a spiritual journey who have come together because they share an open and inclusie attitude to religion and spirituality.

Unitarians affirm for each individual the right of private judgement in matters of religion and spirituality: no-one should be under any pressure to sign up to particular beliefs. In practice, many Unitarians do hold many beliefs in common; but this is not a prerequisite for being a member of the Unitarian community. Each Unitarian is free to treat new ideas, new beliefs, critically, and to take from them what speaks to their own reason and conscience, and what makes sense in the context of their own life experience, in order to live their life in the best and truest way they can. The sole proviso is that any belief that excludes, harms, or belittles another person or group will not be endorsed by a Unitarian community.

Unitarian beliefs change over time. Unlike most mainstream Christian denominations, Unitarians recognise that, as people have new experiences and encounter new ideas, their beliefs may change. The beliefs of most long-term Unitarians will evolve over the years, according to what they see and hear and learn and experience and take to heaert. We find this liberating. So Unitarianism is a continually evolving faith.

But I, personally, am with Victor Hugo, when he stated "To believe nothing is impossible." I think it is a deep instinct of human beings to seek purpose and meaning in their lives, and therefore come to believe in *something*. That something may be a personal deity, Nature, or humankind or any one or several of a thousand thousand philosophies. Even atheism is a form of belief - a belief that any form of supernatural being does not exist. 

Truly, "to believe nothing is impossible."

Information Overload

 I found this week's quotation, by Edgar Allan Poe, puzzling... "In forever knowing, we are forever blessed. But to know all, were the curse of a fiend."

Then I thought about it some more... Perhaps he means that when we use the knowledge we have for good and useful purposes, we are "forever blessed" but that if we take in everything we see, hear, and read uncritically, that would be "the curse of a fiend".

I know several friends who have taken holidays from social media this year, because they have found reading all the thousands of news items and stories, and worse, the comments below them, made them feel belligerent and depressed by turns. When we engage with posts that are spewing hatred and intolerance, or with whose views we disagree, root and branch, it can be difficult to remain objective, not to get sucked in.

I think that each of us needs to choose our battles carefully, to decide what matters to us, what we "forever know" and to defend those things against people with diametrically opposing views. The whole Black Lives Matter movement is a good example... when uninformed people ripost with "All Lives Matter" or with racist comments, it is easy to rest on our white fragility, our white silence, our white apathy, shrug our shoulders and scroll on down. Rather than engaging honestly and deeply with the conversation, explaining why the balance has been skewed for so long, and what we can do to ensure that black voices are heard, black people and others with non-white skin matter, and to help dismantle the system of white supremacy in which we were born and brought up. I have blogged about this recently. 

One of the key Unitarian tenets is the defence of freedom of belief. But not without limits. Espousing freedom of belief requires us to take a responsible attitude towards what we read and hear and see, and to discern critically what truth it has for us. So that if we see or hear or read untruth and misrepresentation and hatred, we can defend the belief or people being attacked. We are limited human beings, so it is not possible for us to "know all". But I believe it is possible to choose to inform ourselves as much as we can about subjects which are consonant with our values, and be prepared to engage with others in meaningful discussion about them.

And not be scared of being perceived as traitors to our class, our families, our people, if that is what it takes. It is as simple and difficult as that.

Bring Me Sunshine

"Whoever banishes friendship from life, removes the sun from the world." These words, by Cicero, made me think of the song which Morecambe and Wise used to finish their shows with (apologies for the ear worm):

"Bring me sunshine, in your smile,

Bring me laughter, all the while.

In this world where we live

there should be more happiness

so much joy you can give

to each brand new bright tomorrow.

Make me happy, through the years

Never bring me, any tears

Let your arms be as warm

as the sun from up above.

Bring me fun, bring me sunshine

Bring me love."

And yes, friendship does bring much-needed sunshine into our lives. All of us will have times when we feel down, and wonder why we bother to get up in the morning, as there seems to be nothing to look forward to, nothing worth fighting for.

At times such as these, friends are vital. If we can share our troubles with someone who loves us "just the way we are", the chances are that we will be able to get over the bad patch and realise that yes, life is worth living, and that yes, we do have the courage to face whatever comes our way. Such friendship is beyond price - it can make the difference between surviving and living, between hurt and wholeness. It involves compassion and love and, practiced purely, it is one of the most healing influences in the world. It may not involve laying down our lives for someone else, but it means putting that person's happiness before our own, because we cannot truly be happy if they are sad.

Anais Nin once wrote, "Each friend represnets a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that the new world is born."

Spirit of Life and Love,

All of us have friends,

all of us are friends.

May we understand the huge importance

of these connections in our lives.

May we appreciate our friends:

their kindness, their loyalty,

their ongoing, unchanging love for us,

warts and all.

And may we be such friends - 

not falling away when the going gets rough,

but always there for each other,

steadfast in our love,

ready to celebrate each other's joys,

empathise with each other's concerns,

and treating one another

as we would like to be treated ourselves,

knowing that the ripples of our compassion

will flow out into the world,

making it a happier, gentler place.

Amen